Spring Awakening
by Vamp-by-Night
Summary: Bella and Edward are dating. Both human and unaware of vampires. One night Edward goes missing and turns up three days later a lot paler and with red eyes. I suck at summaries. There's a better one inside. B*E.
1. The Dark I Know So Well

**Bella's life is perfect. One year after coming to Forks she's fallen in love with the most beautiful boy in school. Even better he's fallen in love with her. Life was good and she couldn't complain. Even better they're finally taking their relationship on the next level. But Edward never shows up that night. He doesn't answer her calls or show up to class. Three days later he returns looking a lot paler and hanging with the strange Cullen family. **

Prologue

"Edward, why aren't you talking to me? I thought something happened to you." I pleaded as busted into tears.

Edward looked at me menacingly with his strange red eyes. _Red eyes…Oh my God. _

"Edward why are your…" I began to ask but he cut me off.

"Bella I think its best if we stopped seeing each other" He rasped. _His voice. There's something about his voice. _

I felt my heart crumble into a million pieces. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop the pain. I wanted to be swallowed up by the ground underneath me. Anything than to hear him say those words. "Edward no! You can't mean that."

"Bella go home!" He growled. There was a chilling edge to his mellifluous voice that sent a chill down my spine.

"No…no I'm not going anywhere" I protested until he stopped me with his hand clamped over my mouth. _Holy cow! How'd he do that so fast? _I hadn't even seen him move and now he pressed me against a tree, his other hand gripping my waist so hard I knew it would bruise.

"Edward, you're hurting me" I mumbled against his cold hand. He only held me harder until I let out a pained groan. _His eyes…they're black now._

"You just couldn't listen to me could you?" His hauntingly beautiful voice rasped. Finally he loosened his grip on my now numb hip and moved his other hand from my mouth to my neck. "Do you know how much danger you're in right now" He bent down and inhaled my neck as if it were a bouquet of roses.

"Edward what the hell are you going on about?" Seriously first he breaks my heart now he's rambling on about how I'm in danger. At this he laughed a dark and chilling laugh. It was the laugh of a predator. Immediately my body went into 'fight-or-flight' mode. My heart accelerated and I felt my entire body tense for action. My legs wanted to run but his arm was still pressed firmly against my neck. "Edward what's gotten into you? Why are you so cold? You're eyes…they were red a second ago and now they're black"

He instantly removed his hands from me altogether and backed away looking somewhat rueful. "Bella, please go home now. Never speak to me again"

I knew I should be running but my legs wouldn't move. I didn't want to leave him. "Edward please. You can't mean that. I love you" I pleaded.

"I don't love you Bella. I never did. You're holding me back Bella now go home." His words cut me like a million knives. My entire world was severed into pieces. Everything we'd ever shared was a lie. Edward didn't love me and I couldn't argue. It never made sense for him to love me to begin with.

_I'm not going to let him see me cry. _I turned and bolted as fast as I could towards my truck. Never looking back.

Song: So Happy Together by The Turtles

3 days earlier

I, Bella Swan was ridiculously happy. Never in my adolescent life did I think that I could ever be one of those girls; the girls that had it all. Those girls were usually ridiculously pretty and popular. Well, I did have the popularity. Ever since I moved here a year ago people have been buzzing around me like bees. It's calmed down since then, thank God. Mainly I had Edward Masen, the green eyed Greek God. I really didn't know what he saw in me but whatever it was I was glad I had it.

Edward and I have been dating almost a year now. I knew I loved him the day he rescued me from Mike Newton's unwanted attention my first day of school and asked me to sit with him at lunch. From there we were inseparable.

"So, about tonight" Edward asked as I slammed my locker shut. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even see him approach.

"How do you always do that…just appear out of thin air?" I asked. Still a little shocked.

"Bella it's not my fault if you are exceptionally unobservant" was his snarky reply. I rolled my eyes and started walking towards my next class.

"Like I was saying about tonight…" I immediately fumbled over my own two feet sending my books flying to the floor. I was just about to join them when two strong warm hands caught me by my waist and hoisted me upright. "Seriously Bella if you're nervous about tonight you can just tell me. We can do this another time. I don't need you breaking any limbs over this."

I rolled my eyes and indignantly allowed him to steady me. "Edward" I lowered my voice so that no one else could hear me. "I love you and I want to share everything with you. I'm not nervous just excited" In truth I was extremely nervous but for good reasons. I just didn't want to give Edward a reason to back out of it. He had his morals and everything…

Edward gave me a side-glance but didn't say anything. "Wait, am I the ONLY one excited for tonight?" A sinking feeling of rejection overwhelmed me. In the corner of my eye I noticed all four of the Cullens eyeing me. The little pixie one had the largest smile on her face when I said that. I hated having this conversation near them. It was almost as if they could hear everything we said.

"No" he lowered his voice when he saw who was staring at us. "Bella don't be ridiculous I'm…very excited for tonight. It's just…I don't want you to regret anything…"

"Edward I wont regret anything. I'm going to cherish this night for the rest of my life" I admitted and blushed with embarrassment. "So about tonight…you were saying…"

"Um yes I was trying to tell you that I'll pick you up at 7 instead of 6. I have to drop my mother to the airport." His mouth involuntarily turned upwards into a little smile.

I smiled too. I knew what moral Edward was thinking. As soon as he drops his mother off we'll have the entire house to ourselves. Edwards's mother was a camera woman and was jet setting off to Paris to film some fancy runway shows then immediately to New Zealand to film a big budget movie. The entire hiatus was to last four months. Being the tricky hormone riddled teenagers we are, not one of us had mentioned the trip to anyone, especially my dad. Charlie would pop a blood vessel if he knew Edward and I would be alone together.

Suddenly Edward took my hand and intertwined his fingers into mine. He brought our intertwined hands to his lips and kissed the back of my palm. I could almost feel the jealous stares I was getting around the crowded hallway. "Whatever happens tonight I'll take care of you" he said with such surety that I had no reason to doubt him.

Damn that warning bell for ringing at that moment. Before I could answer him he gave me a chaste kiss on the lips then shooed me towards my classroom. "I'll see you tonight Bella" And then he turned to leave.

I walked in a love induced haze towards my class. Barely noticing Jessica who was trying to flag me down.

"Earth to Bella! Bella hello snap out of it." My eyes fluttered open. _Whoa was I walking with my eyes closed. Definitely a danger hazard. _"What? Did Edward Masen dazzle you again?" There was a jealous edge to her voice but I ignored it.

"Hey can't talk now Jessica. I'll call you this weekend?" I lied. There was no way I was leaving Edwards presence this weekend. Not even for a second.

6:45 Forks

Edward Mason's POV

"Damn" I muttered under my breath as I inspected my deflated tire. Of all the times for my Volvo to fail me why now?

I was halfway to Bella's house when my tire suddenly blew out sending my car careening off the road and into the outskirts of the forest. I opened my cell phone, not to call AAA but to call Bella first and tell her what happened but the blasted thing wasn't receiving any service. Seriously when I get home I'm going to get rid of T-mobile once and for all.

I started to hike towards the road as I silently berated myself for ruining my special night with Bella. Suddenly I saw something, a person, move like a flash of lightening through the forest. _What_ _the…_ There was another flash of pale skin and long blonde hair. My legs began running before my brain even registered what I was doing.

She was fast but I was an exceptional runner. I began to gain on her. "Wait miss" I called. "I'm not following you…I just…well you're out here alone…" Seriously why _was_ I running after her again?

The woman stopped and turned around and I immediately knew that following her was a bad idea. She…it…had deathly pale skin and long blonde hair that went down to her knees. Her honey colored eyes were fixed on me with a menacing glare and her mouth…of God her mouth, was smeared with blood. I instinctively took a step back.

"Er..um…never mind. I'm sorry to have bothered you" Before I could run she was at my side in a flash. Though she never held me I still couldn't move. My legs went numb.

Her honey eyes looked deeply conflicted as they pierced mine. She drew in a large breath. "Run" She commanded.

"I um…was getting to that" Instantly my legs started working and I darted away from her at full speed. I didn't know what was going on with this woman and I didn't want to find out I only wanted to get to my car and drag if I had to, to Bella's house. Suddenly I ran into something hard and cold. Her.

_How'd she…?_ "You shouldn't have come here boy" She said as she brought her hand to my face. Instantly I felt painful electricity rip through my body. I was paralyzed. "I don't want to do this but you're too damn tempting."

I watched her in paralyzed horror as she leaned into my neck and bit down. My word went black after that. _Bella I'm so sorry…_


	2. The guilty ones

9:45PM

"It's Edward I'm probably busy right now with the love of my life Bella Swan please leave a message. BEEP"

"Edward I've been calling you all night. What happened to you? If you didn't want…" My voice choked. "Look I'm getting worried ok. Just call me and tell me you're alright."

I paced around my room as a million different scenarios ran through my mind. My emotions had gone from anxious, to confused, to hurt, to angry, and now I was worried. It wasn't like him to not turn up without calling me. Even if he was having second thoughts about tonight.

_He'll call. He'll call. He'll call. _I silently prayed as I paced the room. _Maybe his phone wasn't working. _I enthusiastically ran to my computer to check my emails. Nothing. IM's nothing. Myspace. Nothing.

Then I started to distract myself. I re-read my reading assignments, cleaned my room, and rearranged my closet. I practically filed my dad's taxes but nothing would distract me. _Edward where are you? _

12:15AM

He wasn't going to call. As much as it hurt I had to accept that. Clutching the Teddy bear he got me for our first anniversary I cried myself to sleep.

Saturday 5PM

Still no world from Edward. Being a police chief's daughter I began to imagine a series of terrifying scenarios that Edward could be in. It's not like I could tell my dad about it because he's alert the entire squad and I'd be really embarrassed if they found that he was just avoiding me.

Sunday 3PM

I was in my truck driving towards Edward's house. If he was avoiding me I wanted to hear it from him face to face.

Monday 5AM

Edwards POV

Finally the painful burning stopped. My eyes flickered open and I saw 6 very pale people staring at me expectantly. Four of them I recognized from school. _What am I doing at the Cullen's house. _

"He's awake," the little pixie one squealed. _He's beautiful. _

"Um…thank you?" My strained voice sounded foreign to me and there was a burning in the back of my throat. I struggled to sit up as I was lying in someone's bed. "Um can I have some water?"

Everyone stared at me as if I'd grown a second head.

My memory was hazy as my mind rambled through the events of last night. Sadly most of my memories were either gone or too hazy to make out. But I remembered Bella clear as day and my Volvo. And a blonde who… "You bit me" I sputtered to the blonde in front of me.

The Blonde simply rolled her eyes. "You wish"

At my confused stare a pale blonde, Dr. Carlisle Cullen was his name, stalked over to me. His eyes were full of sympathy. "Rosalie didn't bite you Edward. I'm sorry but there's a lot to explain. If my family will just excuse us" He turned to the rest of them and they reluctantly filed out of the room.

"Why am I at your house Dr.? Did anything happen to me?" Besides getting bitten by some psycho blonde.

"Edward I'm not sure how to say this. The girl who bit you three days ago, her name is Kate."

"Three days!" I couldn't have been here this long.

"She's very remorseful about it. Kate doesn't usually feed off humans."

I nodded even though I didn't understand a word of what he was saying. "Om ok. I'm glad this Kate girl is sorry. You said she doesn't usually 'feed' off humans, what does that make her?" I asked

_This might be easier than I thought. _

"What's easier than you thought? And how'd you say that without moving your lips" Things were getting weirder by the second. At my question he gave me the most incredulous stare.

"Edward I didn't…Oh my…never mind we'll discuss that later" he sputtered.

I sighed. Did I really want to know?

"Edward you asked me what Kate was. She is a vampire. We all are. I know this all sounds strange, but you must accept the fact that you yourself are a vampire as well. When she bit you she transferred her venom into your bloodstream which turned you. Kate brought you to our house that night and you have been with us for the duration of your transformation."

I slowly absorbed all of his words. "I'm a vampire?" I asked. Not believing. He nodded. "A vampire like the ones in movies? Do I have fangs?" I ran my index finger over my teeth which were now razor sharp.

_He needs to see himself in the mirror. _

"Why what's wrong?" I asked as I moved towards the full length mirror on the wall across from me. My movements were fast and jerky. _What the? How'd I get over here so fast?_

"Enhanced speed and strength are also inherited during the transformation. Some vampires even inherit special abilities."

"Abilities? What kind off ab…" I stopped the instant I saw myself in the mirror. _Who is this? _My skin was pale as death and my irises were blood red. I wasn't unrecognizable just different. I couldn't describe it. My reddish hair was darker, my features were more defined, and I was pretty sure I was taller. Again that dry scraping feeling plagued my throat. I was Thirsty. _Oh God! Am I graving blood?_ I immediately remembered that the Cullens never ate. Everyone in school always speculated on their untouched food at lunch. "Dr…do I drink people's blood?"

"You can call me Carlisle, Edward. And yes. We vampires drink blood. Most vampires drink human blood but few of us, namely my family, choose to drink animal blood instead. We call ourselves vegetarians. If you choose our lifestyle your eyes will eventually become hazel, like ours, if not they will remain red."

Wow that was a lot to swallow. The fact that I didn't have to kill people made me marginally happy. "Wait a second. The girl, Kate, her eyes were like yours. Why did she attack me that night?"

Carlisle's features softened. "We all make mistakes sometimes. Human blood is infinitely more tempting than animal blood and you happened upon her while she was feeding. When we feed our animal side takes over and we cannot be held responsible for our actions. It gets easier with time though. My children all attend school around humans without feeding them."

That was true although they did avoid people like the plague. Ok so I was a vampire and probably immortal. I fed on blood. Alright I could handle that, but where did that leave me and Bella.

"There's something else I need to speak to you about Edward" Carlisle said as he shifted on his heel uncomfortably. "I don't like telling anyone this but its best if you avoid contact with humans until you get your thirst under control. This includes Bella Swan. If you were around her now would undoubtedly kill her without thinking."

Monday 2:45PM

Biology

Still no word from Edward. I had driven to his house and it was empty. Now today he's missing from school. Things were getting scary. _That's it. Today I'm going to my dad about this. _

Finally the final bell rang to dismiss the students from school. I dragged my dejected body to the front of the class. "Excuse me"

My biology teacher turned to find that I was the only student left in the classroom. "Yes Bella?"

"I was wondering if you've heard why Edward is absent from school today_" _I asked.

He seemed to be taken aback but quickly re-gathered himself. "Ah yes" He rustled through his desk for something. "He'll be out for a long time. Apparently he has mononucleosis. Dreadful. Anyway, I was meaning to ask you if you could bring his schoolwork to him." He unceremoniously dumped a pile of papers into my hand and walked off.

My mouth was hanging wide open. So he was sick? That didn't make any sense. He would have called me. It seemed like an all too convenient excuse. _Well he's not home I've already checked. Maybe he's at the hospital. _Suddenly everything fell into place. If he was at the hospital there was no way he could call me.

I darted out of the class and to my truck. I froze when I saw the Cullens eyeing me from across the parking lot. The little pixie one had the oddest expression on her face. It was almost sympathy.

5:45 AM

"Oh wow. I'm so excited that we can finally be friends. You'll have to borrow something of Jaspers today but don't worry I've already ordered some outfits from the Armani catalogue while you were changing." The little pixie, Alice hadn't stopped buzzing around me since I woke up.

_Ugh this better not affect me in any way. I refuse to move to another town just because of him. _

"Thanks Rosalie. It's good to know how you feel about me" I answered her thoughts. At this she glowered at me and then stormed out of the room. Seriously how could Emmet deal with her? There wasn't one unselfish thought in her shallow mind.

"Whoa Eddie! Looking to get laid are we?" Emmet held my wallet in his hands along with several condoms that had been in it. _Alright kill me now. Oh wait. Been there done that. _

"Don't listen to him. He's just a hopeless pervert. I think it's really romantic that you guys were finally going to…" She trailed off meaningfully.

Wait a minute. "Do you guys listen in on our conversations?" I demanded. My mind suddenly went to a series of inappropriate conversations that we'd had with the Cullens right down the hall.

"Frequently" Somehow Alice still managed to say that and look innocent. "I like Bella and I can't wait for us to be friends. Maybe I'll talk to her today at lunch"

"You'll do no such thing Alice it's dangerous." I protested. I was going to protect Bella from what we were at all cost.

"Relax silly. It's only dangerous for you newborn. There's no danger in me being friends with her. Oh I can't wait. I'll take her shopping, and finally do something with that hair…"

There was a terrible feeling rising up in me that overshadowed my thirst. It was jealousy. I hated that Alice could be close to Bella and I could not. Luckily Jasper interrupted my dark thoughts.

"You ready for your first hunt?" He asked. I nodded and followed him and Emmett out the doors and to the forest.

"Way to go Eddie"

"Edward" I corrected. I laughed. Emmett was like the big brother I never wanted.

"You're doing extremely well for a newborn. Most newborns are extremely messy and imprecise. You're control is amazing"

"Thanks Jasper"

Just then a scent more beautiful than freesias wafted into my nostrils. My stomach clenched and my throat became extremely dry again.

Emmett instantly pounced on Jasper and pinned him underneath him. "Oh shit" he screamed. "I can't hold both of you. Eddie please stop breathing"

I tried but the mere thought of not breathing made me inhale even more. "Emmett what's going on? What's that amazing scent?"

"That amazing scent is human blood and it mine" Jasper rasped from underneath Emmett.

"I don't get it. Why aren't you running after it?" Emmett asked as he struggled to keep Jasper, who was thrashing, underneath him.

I shrugged and walked over to help him hold Jasper down. "Should I be?" the scent was intoxication and it did cause my thirst to rage up again but like before when I woke up it was controllable.

"Yes" They both said. "Fine Eddie then help me get Jasper out of here"

7AM Monday

Once again everyone was staring at me like I'd grown another head. Carlisle who was already wearing his white coat for work was the first to speak. "Edward this is simply amazing. The way you are able to control your thirst is unheard of."

I shrugged. "You work around blood all day."

_Yes but it has taken me hundreds of years to build up my resistance to blood. _

"Oh" Alice squealed. "Does that mean he can go to school with us?"

Carlisle and Esme exchanged doubtful looks. "No. I'm sorry but until we're able to know your resistance is stable we cannot put anyone is danger. You will just have to stay here. For most vampires it takes a year for them to be able to go out in public. You might be different though."

What they were going to school? They were just going to leave me locked up in this house like some Quasimodo. As if answering my thoughts Esme turned to me ran a soothing hand on mine.

"Don't worry Edward I'll be here and you'll appreciate the silence because things can get very hectic around here when everyone's home"

4PM Monday

Bella's POV

"What do you mean you have no record of Edward Masen being here?" I yelled at receptionist. This was ridiculous. Was I the victim of an elaborate hoax?

Just then I saw Dr. Cullen breeze by. Dr. Cullen and I saw each other more than I saw some of my friends. I was pretty accident prone. "Dr. Cullen!" I yelled as I ran past the desk ignoring the receptionist as she warned me that she would call security.

Dr. Cullen looked taken aback but quickly recovered. "Bella! Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Did you treat someone named Edward Masen? The school told me he had mono and I checked his house, which was empty so he MUST be here." I demanded. Dr. Cullen took a long time to respond. I could tell he was appraising me. Choosing his words. I however would not back down. "Dr.?"

"Er…yes Bella. Edward Masen was here. He was discharged this morning. Now Bella I really have to get back to…"

"That's funny because I just came from his house and there was no one home. And his mother is out of town so there's no way she could have picked him up."

"That's because he didn't go home." I held my ground and began tapping my foot impatiently for him to continue. "He went home with friends…my sons Emmet and Jasper."

Seriously now he wanted me to believe that Edward was friends with his adopted children. _He's never even spoken a word to them. _"He's at your house Dr?"

"That's correct. I've already spoken to his mother about our arrangements. I'll be looking after him there until he gets better"

We were in a battle of wills. Both of us stared each other down, him, trying to make me believe his words and me, not buying a single word of it. "Ok Dr. Cullen. If you'll just give me your address I'll be on my way…"

"Bella I'm afraid that's not possible. Mono is very contagious. As his doctor I cannot allow anyone to be near him."

"But your family is near him" I protested. He didn't say anything after that. "Ugh. Fine. But I just want you to know that I'm not buying any of this Dr. Cullen. Edward would call me if anything was wrong with him." At that, I turned on my heals and managed to make a dramatic exit without falling flat on my face.

7PM Monday

"Look Carlisle I've been telling you guys over and over I'm NOT dangerous. Just let me talk to her. Bella's too smart to believe anything you told her. She'll come looking for me." Mostly I just really needed to see her.

Carlisle voice was soothing but his thoughts were unhinged. I was going to have to make an effort to tune them out. "I know. She cornered me and practically held me hostage until I made up a story to tell her. I really didn't plan to reveal so much but she really is quite intimidating for such a fragile creature." He smiled at that.

That's my Bella. A proud smile spread over my worried face. "You should know that Bella has a way of getting whatever she wants from people."

_So I see. _"I know that you are managing your thirsts extremely well for a newborn that just woke up a few hours ago but you must be reasonable. I cannot allow you to put yourself so close to her so soon after your transformation"

I sighed. Everything he said was reasonable and I couldn't argue. The only ground I had for an argument was my performance this morning. He had 300 hundred years of knowledge on me. I just had to trust that what he said was right. "You're right, but she's not going stop until she hears from me. How about I call her and tell her to keep away."

He appeared pensive and then said, "She'll notice the difference in your voice but perhaps she'll assume it's your illness. Yes, be sure to stress the 'staying away' part Edward. It's for her own safety"

I nodded and he left me alone to make the call. To my disappointment no one answered and it went to the message. I signed in disappointment. I was looking forward to hearing her voice.

"It's Bella. I'm probably too dazzled to answer my phone. Leave a message"


	3. It's a btch of a living

"Hi Bella it's me, Edward. Look I'm sorry for avoiding your calls but I think its best that we stay away from each other for awhile. I…need some space between us. Just please stop trying to contact me Bella. It's for your own good."

I almost slipped, who am I kidding I did slip, when I heard the phone ring from the shower. I dashed to my room, soap and all, only to find that I'd missed Edward's call. When I listened to the message I was even more confused than ever. The voice didn't even sound like Edward and he was telling me to stay away from him.

I paced my room. Something was up and I wasn't going to sleep until I spoke to Edward face to face. I dressed quickly, throwing together an outfit without thinking and tiptoed downstairs only to find that Charlie still hadn't gotten back from LaPush. I sent up a silent prayer for small favors and grabbed my keys off the counter and ran to my truck.

Hoping the Cullen's house would miraculously stand out to me I headed towards the ritziest area of town. On the outskirts I saw an isolated white mansion littered with expensive cars in the driveway. The house called to me. Before I knew it I was pulling my loud truck into their driveway and walking towards the French doors.

I gasped. Edward Masen answered the door before I could even knock. _Holy cow. Dr. Cullen might not have been lying when he said he was sick. _Edward literally looked like the walking dead. His skin was almost white and his irises were blood red. He obviously hadn't slept in days because there were dark purple circles under his eyes. Other than that he still looked gorgeous as usual and I chastised myself for nearly swooning at the sight of him. "Edward, you look like hell. Are you ok" I rushed forward to hug him but he reeled back as if I'd punched him.

Edward stood at the threshold clutching the walls as if his life depended on it and appeared to be having trouble breathing. "Bella I told you to stay away" he choked out.

"Oh God, you really _are_ sick. I'm so sorry. You should go back inside and lay down. Let me help you" when I tried to reach for him he flinched.

"Follow me" Was all he said as he stormed out of the house and towards the thicket surrounding us. Without another word I followed him into the trees.

"Edward, why aren't you talking to me? I thought something happened to you." I pleaded as busted into tears.

Edward looked at me menacingly with his strange red eyes. _Red eyes…Oh my God. _

"Edward why are your…" I began to ask but he cut me off. _Red eyes aren't a symptom of mono. _

"Bella I think its best if we stopped seeing each other" He rasped. _His voice. There's something about his voice. _

I felt my heart crumble into a million pieces. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop the pain. I wanted to be swallowed up by the ground underneath me. Anything than to hear him say those words. "Edward no! You can't mean that."

"Bella go home!" He growled. There was a chilling edge to his mellifluous voice that sent a chill down my spine.

"No…no I'm not going anywhere" I protested until he stopped me with his hand clamped over my mouth. _Holy cow! How'd he do that so fast? _I hadn't even seen him move and now he pressed me against a tree, his other hand gripping my waist so hard I knew it would bruise.

"Edward, you're hurting me" I mumbled against his cold hand. He only held me harder until I let out a pained groan. _His eyes…they're black now._

"You just couldn't listen to me could you?" His hauntingly beautiful voice rasped. Finally he loosened his grip on my now numb hip and moved his other hand from my mouth to my neck. "Do you know how much danger you're in right now" He bent down and inhaled my neck as if it were a bouquet of roses.

"Edward what the hell are you going on about?" Seriously first he breaks my heart now he's rambling on about how I'm in danger. At this he laughed a dark and chilling laugh. It was the laugh of a predator. Immediately my body went into 'fight-or-flight' mode. My heart accelerated and I felt my entire body tense for action. My legs wanted to run but his arm was still pressed firmly against my neck. "Edward what's gotten into you? Why are you so cold? You're eyes…they were red a second ago and now they're black"

He instantly removed his hands from me altogether and backed away looking somewhat rueful. "Bella, please go home now. Never speak to me again"

I knew I should be running but my legs wouldn't move. I didn't want to leave him. "Edward please. You can't mean that. I love you" I pleaded.

"I don't love you Bella. I never did. You're holding me back Bella now go home." His words cut me like a million knives. My entire world was severed into pieces. Everything we'd ever shared was a lie. Edward didn't love me and I couldn't argue. It never made sense for him to love me to begin with.

_I'm not going to let him see me cry. _I turned and bolted as fast as I could towards my truck. Never looking back.

That night I cried myself to sleep.

Edward's POV

I watched as she ran to her car. Her entire body reeked of fear. It was the mist enticing scent I've ever smelled. The moment I saw her standing at the door I became aware of two things. One, was that she more beautiful than my human eyes could ever have appreciated and two, her scent was the enticingly delicious. I don't even know how I managed to keep myself from attacking her.

"What happened? Is everything alright" Carlisle asked as he ran out of the house and towards me. "Is the girl alright did you?"

I shook my head. Seriously did no one have faith in me around here? "Yes she's safe but her scent affected me more than anything else. More than humans in the forest this morning. I'd never felt more like an animal than when I smelled her scent"

"Ah Edward I do believe you've found your singer. This is interesting. You're control astounds me Edward. Your craving for blood is almost nonexistent."

I hung my head. It was great that he was amazing but I felt despicable. Never in my life have I looked at Bella the way I did tonight. It was almost as if she were a piece of meat. My mind could think of nothing but the delicious blood pulsating through her. Oh God I seriously was going to have to avoid her.

"Did you detect any suspicion from her thoughts?" Carlisle asked.

I froze. I'd been too wrapped up in her delicious scent to notice that her mind was silent. I shook my head. "No I couldn't read her thoughts at all"

_How strange_

September

I haven't seen or spoken to Edward since that night. I felt miserable. It was as if someone had dimmed the lights in my world. Everyday I went to school, moping from class to class, barely talking my friends. And I night I'd cry myself to sleep.

October:

Ok seriously does every movie have to be about vampires? I couldn't sleep. My mind kept replaying the menacing way Edward looked at me that night. So, instead I decided to stay up on the couch on a school night to HBO. So far I'd watched The Lost Boys and Queen of the Damned. Now I was watching some HBO special called True Blood.

_Weird that's the same thing Edward did to me. _The vampire on the TV bent his head towards the human female's neck and inhaled deeply as if he was smelling heaven. From then on the list of seminaries only increased. So far all the vampires had pale skin, an affinity towards human blood which they resisted by pushing the human, usually their love interest away, and were ridiculously good looking.

As insane as it sounded I couldn't stop my mind from thinking of the Cullens. I've always thought there was something strange about them. They were all too perfect, their movements too calculated, and their voices too beautiful. Never once had I ever seen them eat.

"Hey Bella, why is your ex-boyfriend sitting over there with the Cullens?" Jessica asked.

What? My head shot up and towards the Cullen's table. Edward was here in the flesh and sitting with the Cullens. How strange, he must be over his mono by now but he still looks pale as death and his eyes were honey brown like theirs.

"Bella?" Jessica waved her hand in front of my face.

I knew how it looked to people but I couldn't stop staring. Finally, as if sensing my stare, his eyes lifted and locked on mine briefly. He tilted his head as if he was expecting something and then looked away.

The metal chair creaked as I suddenly stood up and grabbed my lunch tray. "I'll see you later Jess," I muttered as I stormed out of the lunchroom, dumping my tray on the way out. I ran through the halls and out to the parking lot where I sat in my truck and cried my heart out for the remainder of lunch. Rejection and confusion plagued me.

What had I done wrong? Why didn't he want to be with me? Why did he suddenly look like one of the Cullen's? Why was his skin still pale even though he was obviously well enough to attend school?

Biology

Sitting at my lab table I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. I knew that the only empty seat in the room was his original seat next to me. Finally he walked in. Edward took a deep breath before he sat and leaned as far away from me as possible.

I self consciously smelled my hair to make sure I didn't smell bad. "Edward?"

"What?" He rasped. He seemed annoyed that I was even speaking to him so I dropped it. That's when I noticed that his hand had gripped the desk so tight that a piece of metal coated wood broke off into his hand.

"Never mind" I positioned myself so that my hair was shielding us and tried to ignore him for the rest of class.

Several weeks passed in than manner. We shared a lunch and biology but neither of us acknowledged the other's existence. Each day I died a little bit more when I felt that I was the only one that this was killing inside.

"Bells, they're playing that Halloween special on HBO again. Come and have a seat with me." My dad called from the living room.

"Sure Cha-Dad, I called from the kitchen"

I grabbed my plate and settled down on the couch next to him. "Uh God not another vampire movie." I whined. Seriously I'd had enough of vampires.

"What? I love this one. You've never seen Interview With the Vampire?" I shook my head and started watching the movie.

The movie was actually pretty good. I immediately empathized with Louis. He was so self loathing and yet so beautiful. Unlike the vampires around him he hated his immortality. Instead he felt cursed and soulless. He struggled with his belief in God and his struggle over being damned. (Ok never actually watched the movie. Just read the book) I found myself wondering if Edward felt like that. _Whoa Bella, what are you insinuating here? _

That was ridiculous. Vampires didn't actually exist. There must have been a perfectly reasonable explanation for all this. _Yeah Bella and it's that he and the Cullens are vampires. _

"Bells you look like you've seen a ghost. Don't tell me the movie was too scary for you?"

I shook my head. "No dad I'm fine. I just remembered that I had to do some research online. Goodnight dad." I ran up the stairs and began researching everything there was to know about vampires.

"The jugular vein is the vein running along the throat. It pumps a heavy amount of blood back and forth." My biology teacher had been rambling on about anatomy for almost an hour but I couldn't focus on his lecture. Not with Edward sitting as far as humanly possible away from me at our desk.

How I wish we could go back to the way things were. We used to love biology. It was the only period we shared together and we usually spend the entire time holding hands under the table or passing love notes back and forth.

Seriously why's he always sitting so far away from me? My theory was of course insane. I was still harboring the theory that he was secretly a vampire out for my blood. I sighed and sneaked a look at him. _I rather he'd drink my blood than ignore me like this. _

"Edward" I whispered. He didn't respond and continued to lean in the opposite direction. "You do realize that you haven't taken a breath in 45 minutes." I only noticed because I'd been paying close attention to him all day. I didn't know where I was going with this nor could I stop the words from coming from my mouth.

Edward tensed and took in the slightest amount of air. Surely that wasn't enough air to sustain a living person. "Really Edward you don't have to lie to me. I know you're a vampire"

His head snapped in my direction and his gave me the most incredulous stare. It didn't really confirm my suspicion. He might have just thought I was crazy.

The Bell rang and I gathered my things hurriedly and bustled through the door before he could answer me.

My breath caught when I saw Edward Cullen waiting at my locker for me. _How did he do that? _"Edward can you please get out of my way I need to get my car keys and you're blocking my locker" I averted my eyes from his and stared down at my shoes as I said this.

I saw Edwards feet move to the side granting me access to my locker and I opened it without looking at him or the heart shaped pictures of both of us stuck all over the inside of the door. I really need to take those down. Grabbing my keys, I slammed the door and turned to leave.

"Wait Bella, We need to talk" His voice was calm and disarming.

"About what? You being a vampire? Edward I already know all about that" I said nonchalantly as I ignored him and began to walk down the hall.

"Bella can you stop saying that and listen to me. I need to talk to you alone." His honey eyes were pleading.

"Nope." I said immaturely. "I'm not going anywhere with you vampire. How do I know you're not trying to lure me away so you can drink my virgin blood?" I muttered dryly.

He grabbed my arm and stopped me. "Bella stop saying that now"

"What Edward?" I noticed the 4 Cullens in the corner of my eye staring at me as if they'd seen a ghost. I suddenly felt emboldened. "I'll say vampire all I want. Vampire, vampire ,vampire. You know you and your CULLEN friends should go as VAMPIRES this Halloween. You totally fit the description already."

"Bella you're being really immature" He bit out through clenched teeth. His hands were balled into tight fists at his sides.

Still, not feeling at all in any danger, I continued to goad him. "Edward really! What would our friends think?"

"That's enough Bella" He shouted and took a step towards me. Seeing the murderous look on his face I instinctively took several steps backwards and didn't stop until I felt the cool metal of a locker behind me.

"Cut it out you two" On of the Cullens, the big, one called as he trudged over to us and situated himself between Edward and I. "Edward it's not worth it. Let's get out of here"

The rest of the Cullens breezed by me on their way out. The blond muttered, "Nosey Bitch" under her breath as she passed me. I stood in the empty hallway clutching my bag to my chest. What just happened? My harebrained theory couldn't have been right could it?

"Bella." I gasped and backed into the locker with a loud slam. There was the little pixie Cullen standing directly in front of me. But how did she do that. I saw her leave. Now she was here. "I want to talk to you. Would you mind if I rode home with you today"

"Um" Was all I could manage. Did she just invite herself to my house? Wasn't I just insinuating that she was a vampire two minutes ago? "Oh okay" I nodded. I knew I was being a fool for taking her home to my very empty house with no witnesses.

"Relax Bella I just want us to have a nice chat about Edward" She'd said the magic word. I would do anything to find out what was going on with him. I nodded again and motioned for her to follow me to the truck. "I'm Alice by the way. It's very nice to finally meet you" She said as she practically danced towards my old pickup truck.

While scanning the parking lot I noticed that the Cullen car had already left. I sighed. _It looks like there was no turning back. _

"Look about what I said in the hall I was just joking around" I lied as I pulled out of the parking lot.

"Were you? Edward didn't seem to appreciate that joke very much?" she said like a question.

I took her bait and threw out a line of my own. "No he didn't. But then again he hasn't been himself lately ever since he's been hanging around you guys"

There was a long awkward silence. "Bella I didn't come here to fight with you"

"Then tell me what's going on" I interrupted. I tried to calm my raging nerves and steady the truck. "Why is Edward acting like a caged animal around me, why is his skin pale and cold as ice, why did his eyes change to honey like yours? In fact why do you all share the same characteristics when you're not even related? What happened the night he was supposed to come to my house and what are you covering up?"

"Breath Bella"

I inhaled deeply and let out a whoosh of air. That felt better. I turned to Alice who was still sitting daintily in my truck with her hands crossed. She didn't appear ruffled by accusations at all. "You're right something did happen that night." I gripped the steering wheel tighter to control the truck. "Edward is changed. He's more like us now. His avoiding you is as much for your safety as it is for ours so you mustn't go taunting him like that."

Alright now we were getting somewhere. I was elated that my detective skills had worked. But what did this mean? What happened? Was she admitting to being a vampire? "Are you saying that I'm right…about you being a vampire" I kept my gaze on the road. Even now I was a bit embarrassed to say it.

"Bella I'm not going to respond to that. If that's what you believe about us then fine. But that's really going to put a damper on our friendship" She pouted.


	4. I don't do Sadness

**1. As promised, I said I'd update when the reviews matched the amount of updates and you guys stepped it up, so here you go. **

**Also: The titles for the chapters are all songs in my favorite play of all time, Spring Awakening. **

November

I was done with sadness. Edward Masoe could go on ignoring me all he wanted. Pretty soon his mother would return to Forks and then this charade would have to end. How was he going to explain his changes to her? Or that fact that he's practically moved into the Cullen's house?

Until then I had my vampire theory and I was sticking with it. I finished the cinnamon icing on my pumpkin cupcakes with a smirk. My signature pumpkin cupcakes were Edward's favorite desert in the world, made even more delicious by the fact that I only made it once a year when pumpkins were in season.

There was a light delicate knock at the front door and I knew it was Alice, aka my new best friend and constant thorn in my side. Though we never discussed it again, I had a feeling she knew I still thought she was a vampire. "It's open" I called.

Alice waltzed into the kitchen and descended on a bar stool like the queen of England. She was the most graceful person I'd ever seen. Her nose scrounged when she smelled my cooking.

"Hey cut it out they smell delicious and don't worry they're not for you" I said before she could even ask. I knew she and her family didn't eat.

"Oh don't worry I already know" She said. I didn't argue with her. I knew by now that Alice had a knack for knowing what's about to happen. I assumed it went along with the undead territory and didn't hassle her about it. "That's why I brought you this outfit to go along with whatever scheme you have cooking in that mind of yours" She held up several shopping bags.

_Oh God not this again. _I knew not to fight her. The more I fought the more outfits she bought me. I just had to lie there and take it. I groaned when she pulled out the cinnamon colored dress (**white dress from the promo pictures)** that flared out at the hips, from the bag and a pair of flats. "Alice this isn't spring time. It's too cold to be wearing a sun dress like that."

Alice rolled her eyes and pulled out another bag containing a long expensive looking grey coat. "Oh ye of little faith. I though of that and that's why I got it in the cinnamon color. It's more autumn-looking that way and I got you this fine coat to match."

"Gee thanks" I muttered. With Alice everyday was Christmas. "But what's this for?" Then it hit me. Of course. The pretty homemaker dress would only make my plan more convincing. I didn't even want to know how she knew about my plan.

Alice grinned devilishly. "So since your muffins are done why don't put on the outfit so I can start on your hair and make-up"

I had to hand it to her. Alice has a way of making me actually look pretty. She'd styled my hair in soft curls and applied a light ruby stain to my lips. "Um Alice is Edward at your house?" I asked.

She smiled. "Why yes Bella Why don't you come over" she asked as if she'd read my thoughts.

"Sure, thanks. Mind if I bring the cupcakes?" She nodded while still beaming at me. Obviously we were still pretending that we didn't know what the other was up to.

I grabbed the fresh cupcakes and followed Alice out to her Porsche. I was effectively looking like a cross between a teen fashionista and a Susie homemaker.

"Jeez Alice where do you guys get all your money from?" I asked incredulously as I slid into the buttery leather seats.

"Stocks" She answered nonchalantly. Her Porshe purred to life and we drove in the direction of her house. She spied me biting my nails nervously in the corner of her eye. "Don't worry Bella my family's already forgotten about your half crazed outburst last month"

I shot her a dirty look but kept my mouth shut.

"What? No snarky reply?" Alice teased.

"You drive like a maniac" I said, changing the subject. If she only knew…

Finally we pulled up to her house.

"Honey I'm home" Alice sang as we walked into the large foyer.

Wow. My mouth was hanging open as I examined her lavish house. My breath hitched when I heard a hauntingly beautiful song being played on a distant piano. Alice led me towards the sound.

I entered the large living room and the song abruptly stopped. I could see Edward's unkempt head turned away from me. He didn't even acknowledge my presence. _Well that's just downright rude. _

As my eyes took in the room I noticed a beautiful dark haired woman walking towards me.

"Bella, meet my mother Esme Cullen. Esme this is Bella Swan."

"Bella," Esme beamed. "I'm so happy to finally meet you." Her eyes flitted to me and then to Edward and she and Alice shared a knowing look. _Uh uh what did Alice tell about me?_

"Is that human…?" Emmett's loud voice boomed as he entered the room followed by Jasper and Rosalie who gave me a cold stare. "Em… Hi Bella"

"What is _she _doing here?" Rosalie demanded. Not even bothering to speak to me directly. _What's her problem?_

"Don't mind Rose, she's just a little cranky in the evenings, mornings and afternoons." Alice said with her little grin. Meanwhile Edward still sulked to himself on the piano.

"Hello!" I called to Edward in annoyance.

"Hello Bella" He muttered without even bothering to turn around. He resumed playing the piano. _Whatever piano man you'll get yours soon enough._

"Aw honey you baked" Emmet crooned and then smirked as he pointed to my plate of delicious pumpkin cupcakes. "No thanks doll. I'm watching my weight" he said with a wink.

I rolled my eyes. "They're not for you all so save your excuses everyone." I smirked at Edward who was avoiding my gaze. "They're for Edward. Since I know they're your favorite and you only get them once a year I decided to make a friendly gesture and bring them to you"

Edward eyed the cupcakes and a series of emotions played across his face; suspicion, longing, and then repulsion. Just as I thought. "No thanks Bella, I already ate."

Uh huh sure. "But that's never stopped you before? I'll believe a lot of things Edward but not that you'd pass up your favorite desert on account of a full stomach. Besides, you don't want to offend me. I've been in the kitchen for hours baking them just for you." I pouted for good measure. And the Oscar goes to…

Edward signed and walked towards me. Then he looked at me, actually looked at me for the first time since his change. He raked over me from head to toe and his eyes seemed to be filled with longing. I blushed under his scrutiny. "Try one" I said as I held one cupcake out for him.

Emmett snickered. "Yeah Edward don't be rude. Eat a cupcake" More snickers.

He let out a frustrated groan and motioned for me to follow him. "Can we take these to the kitchen first?" I nodded and followed him, anxious to get the show on the road. When we entered the Cullen's grand kitchen Edward snatched the cupcakes from my hand and tossed them on the counter. "What is this game you're playing Bella?"

"What game?" I asked innocently. "Don't I always bake for you?"

Edward was momentarily at a loss for words. "Yes, but now that we're not dating I don't need you to bake for me I want you to stay away from me" He snipped.

_Ouch that one hurt. _I was expecting it but it didn't make it hurt any less. I bit my trembling lip.

"Oh God Bella, please don't cry" Edward pleaded. His honey eyes softened. He moved close to me but I shrugged him away. I had a mission to accomplish.

Reaching for into my purse that was still on my shoulders I pulledout a tiny razor and hid it behind my back. "Edward I'm not leaving you alone until you eat a cupcake" I said to distract him. With my free hand I held a cupcake up to his face. "Or at least just try a bite. I'll leave you alone after that I swear."

Like a man being sentenced, Edward grabbed a cupcake, his eyes never leaving mine, and took the most miniscule bite possible and swallowed without chewing. He was so distracted by the probably horrible taste of food to his vampire mouth that his didn't notice that I pricked my pinky with the razor and swiped a glob of icing onto my bleeding finger. Thankfully the icing overshadowed the scent of my blood or else I would have passed out.

"Good?" I asked. He nodded and plastered the most pained smile on his face. "Then try some more." I brought my icing covered finger to his lips and his irises went from golden honey to black before my eyes.

Edward looked confused for a moment and he sniffed the air. I pressed my finger closer to his lips and he opened them allowing it into his cool mouth. Edward let out the most tantalizing moan. He closed his eyes and grabbed my hand and held it there to his lips. When every bit of icing was gone he began sucking at the wound, drawing blood out of my finger at an alarming rate.

Pale skin, aversion to food, strange changing eyes, affinity to blood, check.

Edward held my hand to his mouth in an iron lock and he sucked the blood from my wound. He had a look on his face akin to a junkie taking a hit of his cherished drug. I watched him with fascination, unable to resist him. The moment felt almost intimate. Not like a predator draining his prey but something entirely different. I couldn't describe it. I let out a throaty moan and he stopped and gazed into my glazed over eyes.

No he wasn't looking at me he was looking behind me. I turned my head to find that we weren't alone. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, and Mrs. Cullen were standing in the kitchen. Their eyes were all black, like Edward's, and they were staring at the finger that Edward held. A ferocious growl ripped through their mouths and they each crouched for attack. I gasped and looked at Edward who was moving in front of me in a protective stance. Then I looked at my finger, which held a single drop of red blood. "Oh damn" the room spun until everything went black.

**So? How was it? Thoughts? Requests?**

**I'm going to take a break from writing for the rest of the week…unless of course I get some more inspiring reviews. No matter how much I try to put off updating this story, I see how many people review and I get inspired to update faster. **


	5. She brought a snack?

Bella's POV

My eyelids fluttered open and I glanced around the room. I was in the living room, laying on the couch…in Dr. Cullen's arms. _What? _The only other person in the room was Edward who seemed more distressed at our closeness than I was. Then suddenly it hit me. Edward Masen drank my blood. Dr. Cullen's family tried to attack me. I groaned and sat up. I suddenly had the urge to yell something like, 'unhand me you fiend' but remained silent.

Carlisle still held me gently and helped steady me as I pulled my body upright so that I was sitting on the couch next to him. "Are you alright?" His voice held genuine concern. Edward continued to glower at us from the corner of the room where he had been pacing.

"Why are you here Dr?" I asked dumbly. Obviously this was his house but that's not what I meant. "I mean I thought you were at the hospital"

"I was" He answered evenly. "I decided to come home for a few hours and so here I am" He looked at me appraisingly as if he were expecting something from me. I decided to give him what he was expecting.

"Dr. Cullen is it normal for people to drink each others blood?" I asked calmly. Edward froze midstride and Carlisle made a cough as if he was choking. _Didn't think so…_ I waited patiently for him to answer me.

"No" He said curtly. "Now Bella it's getting rather late I think you should…"

"Oh really" I interrupted him. "Then why did Edward drink my blood earlier? And why did your family try to attack me in the kitchen?"

Carlisle looked at Edward warily and chose his words carefully. "Bella I think you must have hit your head earlier."

I, however was beyond pretending to believe anything he said. Instead I simply continued teasing him and ignored his words completely. "That's pretty rude you know? Attacking a guest like that. I mean, if you guys were hungry I _did_ bring a snack"

Edward snapped at this and let out a frustrated groan. "Bella this isn't anytime for your sarcastic humor" he snarled.

_Wow did Dr. Cullen just get paler? _Undeterred by Edward's words I rolled my eyes at him. "Really Edward if this isn't the time then can you use your _vampire _powers to transport me to the time where my sarcastic humor would be appropriate."

Carlisle let go of me and stood. Edward tensed and they both shared a look. It was as if they were communicating without words. "Fine" Edward said to Carlisle, as if answering something and Carlisle began to stride out of the room. I tried to take a step towards him and tumbled towards the floor. Just before my face met its lifelong friend; the ground, I felt Dr. Cullen's cold arms hoist me upwards and hold me there. I guess being a doctor was more important to him that whatever he was leaving to do.

My eyes went to Edward. He looked at me as if _he_ wanted to be the one to be holding me right now. The realization suddenly dawned on me. He was jealous of Dr. Cullen. How ridiculous. _How can I use this to my advantage? _

Exaggerating my weakness I leaned on him more. "Please, don't leave yet Dr. I feel weak" It wasn't a total lie. I did feel a bit woozy. He nodded and helped me back down to the chair. Another realization hit me. Carlisle Cullen couldn't possibly be a vampire. He worked around blood all the time. In fact, since the day I got here he'd dressed my wounds countless times, and never once tried to do what Edward did today.

I pondered the possibilities of that being the cause of Edward's jealousy while cozying up to the good Dr. brazenly. Edward let out another groan of frustration then stomped over to us and unceremoniously yanked me from Dr. Cullen. "I've got her." He growled.

Mr. Cullen seemed to be saying something to Edward with his eyes. Edward nodded and said. "No it's fine. I won't…"

_Ok seriously this whole 'communicate without talking' thing was pissing me off. _"Will you two just _talk_ to me" They turned to me and it seemed I had their total attention. "Look I'm sorry for playing this prank on you Edward. I knew you would react that way and it was my own fault your family tried to attack me" I said to Dr. Cullen.

Both of them looked at me in utter shock. "Bella no, this is my fault. I could of…look it's not your fault ok. We're all sorry" Edward confessed.

Dr. Cullen looked pensive. "Bella explain to me exactly what you mean when you say you knew this would happen?" Carlisle asked gently.

I took a deep breath and explained to them, from start to finish how, with the help of Ann Rice, I got the idea that they were vampires, and how I hatched a scheme to prove it. When I was finished their mouths were almost touching the floor.

"Look guys its okay." Edward raised his eyebrow and I continued. "Edward I've decided that I don't care what you are. I love you all the same. Just like I love Alice. I don't care about any of it. You're all good people and no matter what you are, you don't have to tell me and I'll keep this night to myself."

Dr. Cullen gave me a tight smile. "I…appreciate that Bella." And then he turned to leave. "I'll give you some private time"

Before Edward could protest he was gone and we were alone.

Edward's POV

I couldn't believe anything I'd heard. Bella _knew _I was a vampire yet willingly put herself in harm. "I can't believe you put yourself in danger like that"

Her lips trembled and she busted into tears. _Oh no anything but this. _I _HATED _to see women cry, especially Bella. Against my better judgment, I moved her into my lap and rocked her like a child. The act frustrated me on so many levels. It reminded me of the tender moments we shared when I was human, moments we could never share again. Then there was her blood and her heartbeat, all ways taunting me. Then there was the urge I dare not name, a human urge that I didn't think was possible for me to feel again.

Between sobs she cried, "You told me you didn't love me…I…didn't want to accept it now I've made everyone upset." It broke my dead heart. Guilt overcame me. She was crying and in pain because of _me_. I thought I was keeping her safe, that she would just get over me and move on. Honestly it seemed like she was moving on. At school I watched her as she joked and laughed with her friends, even made conversation with some of her admirers, which tortured me as I read their torrid thoughts.

How could I have been so blind and insensitive? All this time I thought that I was the only one suffering and missing her. It tortured me to see her and Alice get so close knowing I could never be that close to her again. Sometimes I'd find myself getting angry at Alice for no reason but jealousy.

"I lied" I said. "When I told you I didn't want you it was the blackest kind of blasphemy" She signed and began sobbing even harder. I suddenly had the urge to kiss away those tears. I leaned into her but when I did her heartbeat sped up. The monster in me reared its ugly head again.

Her heartbeat kept escalating. It was hypnotic. Her blood had been more delicious than I'd ever imagined. _If I just take a bite…no…yes quick before anyone stops you…God so beautiful…so helpless…_

I jumped away from her leaving her sitting on the couch alone in shock.

"Why'd you stop" She looked hurt and I once again felt like an ass.

"I'm sorry Bella. But you know what I am. You know why this can't be. I'll hurt you."

She shook her head in defiance. "Alice doesn't hurt me…well except for today. We spend time together everyday and she _never_ attacks me"

_That's right Bella rub it in my face. _"Well I'm not Alice and you don't…appeal to her the way you do to me. Bella I cannot be trusted with you. You could get killed. Do you understand me?" I demanded.

She shook her head weakly this time. "No" she whispered.

"Bella you know what I am." She remained silent. "Say it!" I hated raising my voice to her but I had to.

"Vampire" She whispered.

"And do you know what vampires do" She nodded somberly. "I'm dangerous Bella. Grasp that."

She remained silent except for an occasional sniffle. I hated doing this to her. "Look its best you went home. Alice is fine to take you but if you don't feel comfortable Carlisle will" I explained gently.

She shook her head but avoided looking at me. "No it's ok. I trust Alice."

Before I could respond Alice's tiny figure came bolting into the room and towards Bella. I was at Bella's side in an instant, creating a barrier between them. "Edward let me see my friend you idiot." She growled. I could see now that her eyes were light honey, not a guilty mixture of blood red like mine and stepped away.

"Bella" she sobbed. "I'm so sorry. I don't deserve your trust. I feel terrible" Bella stood albeit shakily and did something that shocked even me. She hugged Alice. My mouth flew open. How could she put herself at risk like that?

The two held each other sobbing like the teen girls they were and I decided to leave them alone. Meanwhile I went to the guest room to sulk. That familiar pang of jealousy gripped me yet again. I was jealous of Alice more than I wanted to admit. She didn't to feel what I felt whenever I was around Bella. Worse, I was even jealous of Carlisle for being able to be the one to take care of her when I couldn't.

He had been the one to burst into that kitchen, take Bella into his arms, and rescue her from us all. Then I had to watch him tend to her while she clung to him. It drove me insane. It was illogical. he was like a father figure to me. But I couldn't help wanting it to be _me _that took care of Bella.

This separation from her was killing me…so to speak. It would have been easier if we hadn't have been so close before my change. I never knew how much I took being able to be so close to her for granted. I mentally chastised myself for resisting her every time she wanted to go further as popped in my favorite CD, Debussy, and listened to calming melody.

1 week later

Edward's POV

There was no way Bella was aware of the fact that she was giving Tyler Cromley furtive glances from across their lunch tables. Tyler initiated it with his perverse thoughts of Bella that I didn't have the will power to tune out. I wanted to walk over there and rip his head off but Jasper's pained glance stopped me. I suddenly realized how selfish I was being. He was sitting there struggling with his bloodlust and feeling every bit of rage that was going through me. From his thoughts I could tell he was on the edge and I quickly tried to calm myself and focus on my plate of human goop.

She glanced over to my direction and I tensed. It was like she had this magnetic pull on me. But she wasn't looking at me she was looking at Alice who waved at her. Meanwhile I had to sit there listening to Alice's traitorous thoughts of how cute Bella and Tyler looked together. To make matters worse the guy incessantly kept imagining Bella naked. _Yep my life was officially a living hell. _

Bella's POV

"Your ex is staring at you again" Jessica whispered as Tyler confidently strutted over to our table. I resisted to the urge to look at him and glanced up at Alice instead who was waving at me. I smiled and waved back.

Tyler Cromley's, large figure suddenly eclipsed my few. He sat down in front of me and gave me a cocky smile. Really, it was my own fault for encouraging him. He's smiled at me from his table and I'd smiled back. How was I to know that was the universal sign for encouraging male attention?

He scooted into the seat across from me. "Hey Bella." He smiled. He really did have nice smile. But I preferred Edward's crooked grin better. _Bella stop thinking like that! _I tried my best to smile confidently at him. "Um…a couple of my friends are going down to LaPush this weekend. Do you want to go with me?"

I signed and berated myself for what I was about to do. "Thanks Tyler but I can't" I couldn't go out on a date with anyone else. It didn't matter what I told myself my heart was irrevocably Edward's weather he wanted it or not.

Tyler glanced suspiciously at Edward's table and then me. "Is it Edward?" he asked. I nodded.

"I'm sorry but I'm just not ready to start seeing other people yet" I couldn't believe I admitted that out loud. Jessica looked at me as if I'd grown a second head. Thankfully Tyler just chuckled as said, "That's cool, maybe next time" and sauntered back to his table.

My eyes glanced over to Edward without my bidding. Surprisingly he was staring at me too. His eyes locked on mine and I suddenly knew that somehow he'd heard everything I'd said. My face suddenly felt hot and I knew I was blushing. As if sent from heaven, the bell rang and everyone started heading out of the cafeteria to their next class. I groaned. My next class was biology.


	6. Bite me

**AN: Pay attention to the dates because I'm playing around with form and going into the past a little here. Also I apologize to those who caught my blunder. It's true Alice would have stopped Bella, not aided her. BUT since that would serve my plot I'll explain it here. Feel free to criticize my work. It only makes me happy that you expect more out of me. **

**AN: Bella's fearlessness and sometimes confidence is OOC. But then she's coming from a different background than SM's Bella. She has actually been in a relationship a full year before this. She knows Edward through and through. That's why she's so sure of what she says. And the fearlessness when have we ever known Bella to be afraid for her life. Never. Lol. **

* * *

**1 week earlier**

Edward's POV

I waited in the living room like a watchful father for Alice to return from taking Bella home. I was furious. What's the point of having clairvoyance if you're just going to allow someone to put themselves in danger? How could Alice have allowed this?

Though I knew I had no claim over Bella I still wanted to know that the people she surrounded herself with had her best interest at heart. I hadn't known Alice for very long but she seemed self centered at best. Did she think Bella was just her little pet? Something for her to dress up and toy with.

Alice's Porsche purred as it entered the driveway. When she entered she didn't at all seem shocked to see me there. "I know what you're going to say Edward…"

"Then what do you have to say for yourself?" I demanded. Alice, all 5 feet of her stood her ground.

"I didn't know this was going to happen. I thought she was just going to taunt you with the food. I didn't know what was really planning. Her future isn't so easy to read you know."

I could understand that. Nothing about Bella was easy. I couldn't even read her thoughts. "Alice why are you doing this? Why do want to be so close to Bella. Why now?" I asked.

"Because I've seen her future as clear as day. And I know that she's going to be one of us Edward" I shook my head in disbelief. No. She would never be what I am. This curse was not what I wanted for her.

I wasn't aware of the fact that I was walking away from her. She followed me up the stairs and into my guest room. "Edward you need to listen to me."

"No Alice I don't want to hear it" I entered the room and she was right at my heels. "Besides you don't know for sure. Her future is unclear you said it yourself"

She shook her head. "Not this time Eddie. I see it as clear as day. You're going to change her and she's going to want you to Edward"

That was the worse this anyone could ever say to me. That I would be the one to murder the love of my life. Could I be that selfish? "I doubt it I muttered dryly.

She shrugged. "Ok. Then I guess you don't mind if I set her up with someone else" She began to skip out of my room but I stopped her by blocking her path.

"What?" I demanded.

She shrugged again. "I've got a few prospects. Besides what do you care. Isn't that what you want? For her to move on and live a normal life and all that." At my silence she began to move around me for the door. "Anyway Edward I've got to go take a shower before Jasper picks up Bella's scent on me." With that she was out the door.

* * *

**1 year ago: Bella's POV**

"Edward stop licking the bowl" I scolded him as I carefully swatted his hand away from the batter. Edward pretended to pout and hovered over me as I poured the batter into the cupcakes and placed in into the oven, sneaking scoops of batter, here and there.

Then I began making the cinnamon icing it was a war to even keep half of it in the mixing bowl. "Edward Mason!"

"What?" He shrugged innocently, "how can I resist" And with that he pulled me close to him for a chaste kiss. I could still taste the cinnamon on his lips and I moaned into the kiss.

He stopped the kiss before it could get any heavier and busied himself with helping me clean up the huge mess I'd made. Every once in a while we'd catch each other sneaking a peak at the other and nervously turn away.

When the cupcakes were done and cooled I spread the cinnamon icing over one and handed it to Edward, who was anxious to try it. I watched as he took a bite then closed his eyes as if he were in heaven.

"Good?" I asked.

A mischievous grin spread across his face. Suddenly I was unceremoniously thrown over Edward's shoulders. "That's it. We're getting married right now."

I busted into a fit of giggles and he let me down slowly. "What you think I'm joking?" he asked, pretending to be offended.

Though he'd set me down he was still holding me by my waist close to him. We both tensed and I felt that familiar urge to utter those words again. I couldn't .It was too soon. Besides he might be turned off it I said it.

"Bella look at me" he commanded silently and I did. "I've been wanting to tell you something" He suddenly seemed nervous and his Chicagoan accept was particularly strong. And then he said those three words amazing words.

"Huh" was all I could manage to say after my brain recovered.

He shifted his weight uncomfortably. "I said… I love you". There were no words. I wanted to say that too him for so long but I was afraid him rejecting me or it being too soon. And now there it was. Edward Mason loved me. And I was just standing there silent. "I'm sorry…maybe it's a little early to…"

"No" I interrupted. "Not at all. I feel the same way too."

"You don't have to say that Bella"

What? Was he insane? How could I not love him? Better yet, how could he love me? "Why?" I blurted out. "Why do you love me?"

He seemed a bit stricken but was silent for a moment and I was afraid he would take him words back. "Bella how could you ask me that. Don't you know how amazing you are?" _No not really. _When I didn't respond he continued. "Well you are. You see right through things. Sometimes I feel like I can't hide anything from you. You have the strangest sense of humor." I smiled at that. "You're infuriatingly stubborn and you always seem to get what you want from me and I love every second of it."

"And it helps that you're beautiful" _Hmm doubtful. _He leaned closer to me and blushed. "You have the most beautiful blush." He touched my cheek and I felt my face reddened even more. "The fullest lips…" he traced his thumb over my bottom lip and I shivered. _Hmm maybe I AM beautiful. _"And now it seems that you're an amazing cook. I never had a chance." He mused.

"Is that all?" I pressed.

"No" he smiled. "I think you the have the kindest heart. You put everyone before yourself sometimes I wish everyone was a good as you are Bella." I interrupted him with a kiss.

"I love you too" I breathed into his mouth. The kiss slowly escalated into a passionate one as I fisted my hands in his hair, encouraging him to hold me tighter and kiss me harder.

"Ehem." My father coughed as he entered the kitchen. "Am I interrupting something?"

I hadn't realized it but Edward was holding me several inches above the ground. He quickly dropped me like a hot pan then seeing my struggle to gain my footing reached out to steady me. We both turned to Charlie with plastered on innocent looks on our faces. "Oh…hello Sir"

"Bella…Edward" he nodded in Edwards's direction stiffly. Charlie had not yet warmed to him yet. "How's you're mom?"

Edward shifted his weight. It was endearing that how my father made him nervous. "She's great. She's in New York filming a pilot for a new show."

Charlie muttered something about not trusting a boy without parental supervision and left the kitchen.

* * *

**Present Day**

**Biology**

**Edward's POV**

She was late. The masochistic part of me was impatient for her to enter the classroom and torture me some more with her blood. The other part wanted to know where the hell she was and who she was talking to that was making her late for class.

Finally she entered the class and went immediately to the teacher's desk to explain her lateness. "Sorry I'm late I spilled something on my shirt and I had to change"

"Fine. Take a seat Miss Swan so we can continue". She indignantly turned and walked towards me. I would have laughed if could close my jaw which was on the floor. My eyes were ungentlemanly trained at on her bust as she neared me. Across her chest were the words, 'Bite Me' scrawled on her shirt.

_My…life…is…hell. _"Nice shirt" I grounded out through clenched teeth. I had to conserve as much air as possible which would make speaking difficult.

She looked down at her shirt, which was also two sizes, too small and then her eyes widened. "Sorry…I never even looked at it…its Jessica's" She explained. I had surmised as much. It reeked of Jessica's scent which helped to distract me from her blood. I stiffly nodded then turned away from her.

She seemed used to the drill and she angled her body away from me and focused on the lecture. There was so much more I wanted to say to her but her scent was maddening, even with Jessica's shirt. Everything about her taunted me. Her scent, her body, even the damn words written across her breasts. _'Bite Me' maybe just one bite…I'll be quick. No one will notice… _I hadn't realized that I was leaning into her.

She turned to me and venom pooled in my mouth. Her eyebrow raised in question of my actions. "Hungry Mr. Mason?"

"You have no idea" I muttered with the last bit of air left in me. I leaned away from her to inhale awkwardly which only made the hunger worse. She giggled and the teacher shot her a glare. I was astounded. She was giggling. She had yet to grasp the direness of this situation.

The monster in me roared to life. It demanded her fear not laughter and before I could stop it a low quiet growl ripped through me. Instantly her body tensed and she whipped her head towards me in confusion. Her heart accelerated and I could sense the fear coming from her. The monster reveled in it. _That's more like it. _

_God what have I become. _When the bell rang I immediately regretted my actions. She scampered out of the room without looking at me. As if drawn to her by an invisible leash I followed her towards her locker to apologize. Slamming her locker shut she turned around and gasped when she saw me standing in front of her. Noticing she hadn't put on a jacket yet my eyes automatically went that specific spot on her shirt.

"That shirt looks good on you. I like it" I said conversationally to throw her off.

She appeared confused for a second and then rolled her eyes muttering something like 'you would'. "Look I understand now that you want me to leave you alone so I'm doing it." She said as she started to walk away.

"I know and I just want to apologize." I said lamely as I followed her through the doors.

"For what" We were walking through the parking lot towards her car.

"For scaring you today" I lowered my voice. "That was uncalled for and I'm sorry"

"You didn't scare me," she lied as she reached her for her keys to unlock her truck and I watched as she climbed in and slammed the door. Without thinking I climbed into the passenger seat before she could protest and shut the door. We were alone. "What do you want now" she said, trying her best to sound annoyed.

_Like I know…_"I want to explain something to you Bella…why you and I can't be"

She sighed, "You already explained that"

"No. I didn't" I held out my arm and motioned for her to touch it. "Do you feel that?" she nodded when her warm skin met my icy fingers. "I'm dead" I said flatly. "I'll never age and I'll never stop existing. I'm trapped in this soulless body forever. If I allowed myself to get close to you even on a friendly level there's a chance that you'll become what I am" I tore at my heart to say the words out loud. It made it true, more final.

"But Alice …"

"Alice and I are different" I interrupted, getting a bit frustrated, mostly with myself. "Sometimes certain people just appeal to us more. Like a favorite food. That's what you are Bella. You're blood taunts me more than anyone else."

She pulled her hand away from mine and clenched and unclenched her hands on the steering wheel. I knew she was having a difficult time grasping the fact that I could be dangerous yet even know in the close confines of her truck her scent was overwhelming.

"If you're so dangerous then why haven't you attacked me already? What's keeping you from doing it now?"

Not wanting to indulge her fantasies of me being a good gut I answered in blunt truth. "Witnesses." I said bluntly. "I could in biology but there are too many witnesses and my sense of survival is slightly stronger than my thirst. We can't reveal who we are to anyone." I was breaking her heart again I knew, but perhaps a healthy dose of fear was good for her.

"And now?" she whispered.

That was a good question. In fact I'd been surveying the lot while speaking, calculating the chances of anyone hearing her muffled scream from the truck and they were slim. Now that I had already had a taste of heaven could I resist? I leaned closer to her and she didn't retreat. I brought my lips to her neck and she stiffened but didn't move. Inhaling her scent, I listened to her hear quicken and felt the venom pool in my mouth.

"Edward don't" Someone whispered in the distance. It was Alice who was standing several yards away from us. Though Bella couldn't hear it I groaned and backed away from her. "I'm sorry" I muttered. "It causes me physical pain to be near you, to resist…" I admitted.

Bella looked shocked and then rueful. She shocked me with her next words. "I'm sorry…if I'm causing you pain…is there anything I can do to help…you know not smell so tempting?"

Where those words really coming from her mouth? There I was telling her that I wanted to murder her and she was apologizing and asking me if she could help lesson _my _pain. "I…Bella this is nothing you're doing. It's me. All me."

"Maybe I could drop Biology"

"No I already tried Bella." _Besides biology is my only excuse to be close to you. _

I sighed, releasing the last bit of air I had left in my lungs. "Maybe I shouldn't have lied to you before. I should have just told you what I am, consequences be damned." I said more to myself than to her. "Forget about me Bella. That's the best you can do for me and for yourself. Just forget about me and move on with your life"

With that I left the truck without looking at her and continued to trudge towards Alice's car without a backwards glance until I heard her loud engine come to life. When I turned around she was gone.

**AN: Review!**


	7. WHen I go there

**Update: The rating is now M to be safe. No lemons in this chapter though. **

**AN: Okay so this story is loosely based on the Broadway hit Spring Awakening and you're about to know why. No not that…no such sad endings will occur for those who've seen the play. Anyway I love this song(youtube link with silly animation on profile) its so beautiful because its about yearning for something so bad that just fantasizing about it takes all your problems away. I just listened to the song and this chapter spilled out of me. **

**AN: Please listen to the song. It's too amazing for words. **

**Caution ****innuendo**** ahead**

* * *

**Edward's POV**

Where I go, when I go there  
No more memory anymore…

"Jasper could you please stop fantasizing about killing my ex girlfriend it's making me a bit uncomfortable" I muttered, drawing Jasper out of his reverie.

Alice looked absolutely horrified and Emmett stifled a laugh. "Hey that's my friend you barbarian" Alice scolded as she smacked Jasper upside his head. Rosalie just snickered and rolled her eyes.

"Chill out man" Emmett said. _Really dude its ok. We all fantasize about draining the students every once in awhile. It helps keep hunger…manageable. Otherwise a guy can crazy with all this temptation._

I was beyond shocked. "Who?" I asked, not really wanting to let Alice and Rose into our conversation.

_Em: Angela…Jessica…Mrs. Webber…Principle…_

"Whoa sorry I asked" I replied and Emmet just grinned.

Only men on distant ships  
The women with them, swimming with them, to shore

Where I go, when I go there  
No more whispering anymore  
Only hymns upon your lips  
A mystic wisdom, rising with them, to shore

Jasper: _Bella's face beading with sweat as she runs through the hallways screaming at the top of her lungs. 'Help please someone'…Hmm I wonder if her blood is as good as Edward makes it out to be…_

Touch me – just like that  
And that – o, yeah – now, that's heaven  
Now, that I like  
God, that's so nice  
Now lower down, where the figs lie

A low growl ripped through me and Jasper's thoughts were temporarily quieted. "Sorry man" he muttered. I monitored his mind until he turned his dark thoughts towards another student then tuned him out. Besides I was the only one allowed to indulge in sick fantasies of Bella.

Now where was I?

Where I go, when I go there  
No more shadows anymore…

Bella sat in a meadow alone with the sun pouring light over her face. She wore a pure white dress that clung to her body as the wind blew. So enraptured by the light, she didn't see me stalk behind her. Her heart quickened its pace. The blood swished in her veins like wine in a bottle. One hand snaked around her and locked her to me by her chest the other pulled her head to the side by her loose hair. From my position behind her I couldn't see the look of fear on her face but I could hear her heart and muffled whimpers that escaped her lips.  
I brought my lips directly above her jugular vein and placed delicate kiss there before positioning my razor sharp teeth above the flesh. She moaned and writhed in my arms which caused me to tighten my grip. Suddenly another urge overcame me…

Where I go, when I go there  
No more weeping anymore  
**Only in and out your lips  
The broken wishes, washing with them, to shore**

Even in my fantasy I was jolted by that realization. I whipped her around to look at her face. Her eye lids were half closed her lips slightly parted. This was not fear…it was something else. I wanted something else.

Touch me – just like that  
Now lower down, where the sins lie  
Love me – just for a bit  
We'll wander down, where's the winds sigh

The realization jolted me from my reverie and I prayed to God that hadn't been staring at her the entire time. No such mercy was granted. I _was_ still staring at her. Thankfully she was too engaged in a conversation with Mike Newton to notice. I groaned. Something that hadn't occurred to me in public since I was twelve suddenly happened. _Oh crap…_

_Em: Um Edward…I know I'm sexy and everything but calm down._

Emmett scooted further away from me towards an unsuspecting Rose.

_Jasper: Whoa someone needs to calm down. I can feel these things remember._ (Scoots away from me towards Alice)

Thankfully Alice and Rose were too busy conversing to notice but that didn't stop Emmet from bringing it to everyone's attention.

"Hey Eddie, the Denali sisters are coming to visit us Thanksgiving weekend. You remember Kate, the one who bit you? Anyway maybe one of them can help you take care of your…situation"

The entire table was now looking at me as I banged my head into the table. _I…hate…my…life._

* * *

Bella's POV

I tried to concentrate on what Mike was telling me put I couldn't pull my gaze away from Edward. He was staring at me, his eyes were glazed over, and he had the oddest expression on his face. What was he thinking?

"I don't like the way he looks at you" Mike was saying, "Its like you're a peace of meat or something"

"Huh?" I said lamely as he interrupted my thoughts.

"You're ex" Mike motioned towards Edward's table. "He's been staring at you" My eyes returned to Edwards table only to find that he was no longer looking at me but was looking downwards at his table in angst.

* * *

Biology:

Bella's POV

He was late. Or had he been able to drop the class. The late Bell rang and I shifted nervously in my seat as the lecture began. The subject today was human sexuality and everyone including myself let out a collective groan.

"The male organ becomes engorged with blood when the male experiences an arousal" The teacher was saying. Suddenly the door creaked open and Edward silently walked pass the teacher without giving an excuse and took his seat next to me. "Mr. Mason do you have an excuse for coming into my class 10 minutes late?"

Edward shot him deathly look and the teacher, after looking a bit shaken, returned to his lesson without confronting Edward again. _Whoa what's that about? _

The hour wore on and the teacher continued to talk about the various parts of the human anatomy and I suddenly wished I wasn't sitting right next to the one person I wanted to loose my virginity to just 3 months ago. I found myself thinking about the most outrageous things. Like if vampires ever craved anything other than blood. If they were dead…how could they. Surely Alice and Jasper…

My face felt suddenly felt hot. _Oh great I'm blushing during sex-ed. _I suddenly felt extremely self conscious. If the blood rushing to my face was doing anything to Edward I wouldn't know. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I shielding my face from him with my hair and tried to quiet my mind.

However, I couldn't quiet those ridiculous recurring vampire fantasies I'd been having about Edward and I of late. I knew it was all HBO's fault for getting me hooked on that ridiculous True Blood show. I let out a loud sigh. _I already had to deal with a years worth of fantasies about human Edward am I going to be plagued by fantasies of Vampire Edward TOO? _

Finally the bell rang and Edward was the first to get up and shoot out of the class room. _I guess he cant wait to get away from me. _I moped to my locker and then to my car depressed. Tomorrow was Thanksgiving which meant it would be an extra long break from school till I saw him again. I sighed. I was beginning to love the torture of being near him but never _with _him. I almost didn't know which was better thinking that Edward didn't want me anymore or knowing that he still loved me but had to stay away for my life.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of my passenger door slamming shut. Alice's little pixie figure was now sitting patiently beside me. _How…jeez Alice warn me next time. _"Um…Hi?"

"Mind if I come home with you for awhile? The boys are being…well boys and I _can not _deal with that like Rose can" She said while rolling her eyes at the very remembrance of it.

"Um Sure. I just have to go to the grocery store to buy a last minute turkey. Do you mind coming with me?"

She scrunched her nose at the mere mention of food but agreed and I pulled out of the parking lot. We drove in relative silence. Apparently I wasn't the only one with a lot on my mind. _Ask her. Just Ask. Ok. Im going to ask…wait no…_ "Alice can I ask you something?"

"Sure" Then she her expression went blank. "Wait! Can I take that back? No. You definitely cant ask me that."

_What on earth…_"Alice you can't take it back I've already worked up the courage to ask you" She remained silent. "Ok well I'm just going to say it whether you answer or not" Still nothing. I sighed. "What's it like…being a vampire?"

Finally she answered me. I drove in silence and listened as she recanted her tale of how she became a vampire and found the Cullens and Jasper. How the Cullens were one of the few vampires out there who only drink animal blood. Even how some of them had special abilities. I really wasn't surprised when she told me she could see the future but I was definitely about to crash the truck when she told me that Edward could read minds. My face reddened.

As if reading my thoughts her eyes widened. "Oh gosh no. Did I leave out that he can't read _your_ mind? You're the one person it doesn't work on. For the rest of us it's really annoying though as you can imagine." She prattled on. But I was still in shock.

When we reached the grocery store I managed to park my truck awkwardly in 2 parking spots and fumbled towards the entrance with Alice trailing me reluctantly. We strolled down the isles, me plucking needed items for thanksgiving dinner and she making faces at everything in the cart. _Ok Bella you're a big girl. Just say it. Just ask._ "Um…"

"Yes Bella on all accounts" She answered before I could ask.

"But how?" I lowered my voice and looked around self consciously.

She shrugged. "I'm not a scientist or anything but we still _feel_ just as people do."

"So…you and Jasper"

"Yes Bella. On all accounts"

"Oh" _Ok changing subject. NOW.

* * *

_

Thanksgiving Day

Edward's POV:

All day I'd been a nervous wreck. Literally, I was going to meet my murderer. My human mind only had a faint hazy glimpse of what she looked like and it wasn't pretty. Her face was smeared with blood and she had a deadly scowl on her face. It wasn't really fear that I was feeling. I mean, I'm already dead what else could she do to me. It was more a fear the impending awkwardness. The Cullen's and the Denali's had been friends for centuries. I didn't want to be the one to upset that.

I was sitting at the piano when Carlislebrought them into the living room and I stood; a little bit of Jasper's old southern manners rubbing off on me, to acknowledge their presence. There were five of them in all. The couple clinging to each other introduced each other first as Elezar and Carmen. When I caught sight of the three blond sisters my breath caught. They were painfully beautiful, even more so than Rosalie. The fist two introduced themselves as Irina and Tanya while Kate nervously shifted her weight on her feet like a human.

Her thoughts forced their way into my head. They were unstoppable and guilt ridden. She thought I hated her. For awhile I thought I did. I hated the fact that I couldn't be with Bella but now that I knew first hand what its like to be tempted I couldn't blame her. Finally she introduced herself shyly. "I am Kate"

"Yeah I think we've met" I said. She smiled at that and I resumed playing the piano while the rest of the covens caught up. The one named Tanya sat on the bench beside me and began watching my fingers tentatively. When I wasn't perturbed by her presence she appeared upset and pouted. "Edward you fingers play magically" She purred seductively. _Hmm I wonder what else they could…_

"Ehem." I coughed to stop her train of thoughts from flooding my head. "I can hear your thoughts" I explained quietly.

She didn't seem embarrassed by that at all. "Really? Then can you see what I'm picturing right now"

I stiffened in my seat and stopped playing. Yes, I could see very clearly what she was thinking. Why on earth did it seem as if God himself was fixed on torturing me?

Her eyes widened as if she suddenly realized something. _Ah oh course what was I thinking. You are a newborn. You cannot possibly want to…_

"Yes exactly" I said. Let her think what she wants. Anything to get stop that mind of hers. She was worse than a pubescent teenager. Without warrant, my mind suddenly went to Bella. I wondered what she was doing. Was she slaving over a turkey dinner in the kitchen or making conversation with Charlie?

I excused myself from the house and started to jog, which of course meant I was running at warp speed, towards the woods. I didn't stop until I found a clearing and leaned against a tree, while gazing up at the stars. My phone suddenly began vibrating in my pocket. _Of course I get service NOW. _Assuming it was Alice or Carlisle I picked it up without glancing at the caller id. "Yeah sorry I just needed to go for a jog"

"Edward?" the voice on the other line sounded confused.

_Holy shi…_"Mom..er hi" It took my fuzzy vampire memory a while to recognize her voice and she didn't seem convinced that I was indeed her son.

"Edward? You sound different."

"Really?" I replied nonchalantly then raked my mind for a memory of her. _Bingo. _"How's New Zealand?" I inquired which seemed to put her mind at ease.

"Oh it's beautiful. Really the mountains are just breathtaking. It's really a dream to capture this kind of natural landscape on camera. Oh enough about me the Dr. told me you were feeling better but your voice sounds a little off you're not taking drugs are you because I didn't move you to Forks for that."

_What? _Her question threw me off completely. It took me a long time to gather that accusations of drug use were a light and daily thing for my mother. She began chucking on the other line. "Relax son. I know you're not on drugs. I mean because if you are its prep school for you" I could literally see her grinning. So this strange eccentric woman was my mother.

'No mom, definitely no drugs" I muttered.

"Good. Happy Thanksgiving then."

I smiled. "Thanks mom you too."

"Are you spending it with the Cullens. Dr. Cullen's told me you and his children were getting pretty close. Or are you at Bella's? How is Bella?"

My mother was definitely reminding me of Alice with her incessant questions. "Yes I'm still at the Cullen's. They've been pretty great. Bella is fine" It wasn't a lie really. She could be fine. We talked for several minutes later until she told me she had to go. "Mom?" I stopped her before she could hang up.

"Yes?"

"When exactly are you coming home" I had to know to prepare the Cullens for what to do. Carlisle thought it best that I faked my death as soon as possible while I thought that I could at least fool my transient mother and classmates until I 'went off to college'.

"Aww are you missing your mother?"

I rolled my eyes. She was absolutely endearing. I almost felt like _her _parent. "uh huh"

"Well filming has been a bit off schedule because of the weather but I'm going to try to make it back for Christmas ok" With that we said our goodbyes. I had a month to figure out my next course of actions, surely my mother would notice my change in appearance. My eyes were a different color for God's sake. Then again the humans at school didn't really notice. They assumed it was all just part of my 'new look'. My memory of how close I was to my mother was hazy and I needed a human opinion of just how convincing I would be to my own mother. I needed Bella.

* * *

**AN: Step 1: Go to my profile and scroll down under my posted links**

**Step 2: Find the link to the Song 'Touch Me'**

**Step 3: Click youtube link and listen. **

**Step 4: Review for the story**

**Thanks**

**AN: Poor Edward his life really IS a living hell. Please review and I promise I'll lessen his pain. lol. **


	8. Rogue's Touch

This isn't a chapter just another shameless plug of my newest story ROGUE'S TOUCH. Please give it a chance and leave a review telling me what you think. Here's the summary.

Summary:

What if it isn't Bella but Rogue who shows up to Forks high. Poor Edward has his hands full when he hears the thoughts of the new girl in school. She's got white streaked hair and gloves and her mind is full of other people's thoughts. Edward's convinced that she's schizophrenic when he hears her internal dialogue with another person named Bella Swan who appears to be trapped in rogue's mind. But Rogue absorbs the life and psyche of every living thing she touches. So I guess it's a good thing that neither Edward nor Carlisle is alive. What does this all equate to? A hybrid between X-men (comic not movie) and Twilight and a major love square between Carlisle, Rogue's body, Edward and Bella's mind. Yeah you kind of just have to read to figure it out.

Preview:

Edward:

The strange white haired girl's thoughts forced themselves into my head the moment I locked eyes on her. They were strange and disconnected; murmurs of past memories and conversations. But the strangest thing of all is that the voices and memories were all completely different. I was beginning to think she was mentally unstable when I heard the murmuring thoughts of Cajun male whistle through her mind.

Her name was Anna Marie and the entire school was in upheaval about the buxom white striped brunette from Mississippi. "Call me Rogue" her velvety southern voice drawled as a male admirer cornered her in the hallway.

Even stranger than her nickname and goddess like features were the stark white streaks through her long auburn curly hair. Whether is was some new fad or a strange case a pre-mature graying one thing was certain, that within a week every student will have experimented with dying their hair. The weather was relatively warm yet wore a pair of long black gloves which contrasted with her skin tight jeans, knee high boots, and lacy revealing tank top.

It was lunch hour and I was now staring at her sitting all by herself while the rest of the cafeteria buzzed around her like flies, yet always keeping their distance. They seemed to sense that she was dangerous somehow. 'Rogue' didn't seem to mind though. How could she when she had enough voices swimming around in her head to keep her occupied? The beautiful girl was clearly in need of physiological help.

Listening to her thoughts it became clear that she had several personalities; a Cajun male, a woman who called herself Miss. Marvel, someone else named Magneto and finally the only normal sounding name, Bella Swan.

"Edward that new girl is really strange and that's saying something coming from me" Jasper noted while the rest of the table nodded. I agreed. They had no idea…

"How so?" I asked. Not sure what they could have noticed to be outwardly strange.

"Well she has white highlights in her hair and long black gloves. She's too colorfully dressed to be a Goth and she's too…developed to be 17" Alice explained.

"She _is_ smoking hot thought" Emmett sighed and Rose smacked him upside the head. Her thoughts rang of jealousy. She hated the strange girl the moment she laid eyes on her. With Rose, no one was allowed to be more beautiful than she and this strange girl was giving her a run for her money.

"I think she's suffering from multiple personality disorder" I blurted out without thinking and the entire table turned towards me to explain. I explained to them that beneath her seemingly cool exterior her thoughts were a mixture of different voices that went by strange names.

"That poor girl" Alice cried. "She needs professional help"

I nodded in agreement then suddenly the voice of Bella Swan rang in my head.

_B- Where am I? This isn't my school? Please answer me. _The voice in Rogue's head began sobbing.

Rogue sighed and shifted her weight in her seat but continued taking sips of her drink. I was convinced that she wasn't aware of the voices in her head until I heard her next thoughts.

R-_Bella, please be calm. I'm not trying to ignore you I'm trying to help you get the hell outa my head. _

_B- How can I trust you? You tried to kill me. And where am I…I mean you. We're not in Arizona or New York._

_R- For the last time I didn't kill you sugar now quiet down and let me enjoy some peace. _

_B- Whatever. It's not like I have somewhere to be or anything… _

The voice of Bella snorted and I was dumbfounded. Rogue was communicating with the voice as if they were separate people. Moreover the voice of Bella Swan intrigued me more than anyone else. While the voice of Rogue reveled in the attention Bella snickered and complained about it. While Rogue's voice was sultry and deep with a thick southern accent, Bella's was smooth and calming, when it wasn't muttering something sarcastic.

I had gathered all this in an hour's lunch of listening to their back and forth conversations. Now it seemed that Bella was convinced that she was a separate person, that Rogue had killed her even. Cursing as the bell rang to for the next class I wished I could listen to her thoughts longer.

**Hope to see you there!**


	9. Angels and Demons

**Sorry for the long time to update. I got busy with school and started a new story and the ideas just weren't flowing on this one. Anyway I reassessed the story and I'm pretty sure I know where I want to take it. No more making it up as I go. Lol. **

**Inspired by: **

**If I Was Your Vampire by Marilyn Manson**

**My Junk by Spring Awakening **

**I don't own Twilight or its characters. **

**Review= Inspiration for me. More story for you. **

* * *

Edward

I stood, perched on a tree branch, outside her bedroom window debating whether or not I should go in. She was asleep. So was her father. No one would hear me enter. _Alright seriously this is bordering on stalker territory. _I cursed myself before effortlessly opening her window and entering her room. Her strong scent hit me like freight train. It was everywhere, on every aspect of the room. Irritated by it I sunk into the rocking chair on the far corner of the room and watched her sleep.

_What am I doing here? _The question I'd been asking myself all night. The harder I tried to avoid her the more I felt this maddening pull towards her.

To say Bella was not a peaceful sleeper was an understatement. She kicked and thrashed about, throwing punches at invisible objects in the air. I stifled the urge to chuckle. "Who are you fighting in your sleep Bella?" I whispered as I rocked back and forth in her chair. _Probably me. _

Her thrashing ceased eventually as she entered another cycle of sleep. She looked so peaceful that I couldn't fight the urge to be near her. I moved from the chair and sat on the edge of her bed, careful not shift the mattress with my weight.

A deep throaty moan suddenly escaped her lips and I froze. She moaned again and began writhing beneath her covers. It was becoming increasingly clear that she was no longer having a nightmare but a different dream entirely. "Edward" she moaned silently.

It was like my body suddenly refused to move. Then I heard her moan my name again. _She's dreaming about ME. _The realization sent a surge of emotion through me. I was elated yet afraid and angry all at once.

What was she doing still having romantic notions of me? Didn't she realize I was dangerous? Those notions were very explicit by the sound of her moaning and I couldn't take it any more. Frustration and longing had me in a tight hold. It penetrated every fiber of my being. I was frustrated on so many levels. I longed for her blood. Always her blood. And yet I found myself craving her body on a whole different level than when I was human. I always wanted her that way. Yet as a human the urges were totally controllable. Both conflicting urges were now battling it out and making my craving more intense. I had to leave. There would be no good ending to my hovering over her alone in her bedroom. I was either going to bathe in her blood or ravish her thoroughly. And I knew Bella well enough to know that she would be just fine with the latter.

I sat hovering over her while I internally battled over my next course of action. It was as if there were two cartoonish angels hovering over either side of my shoulders. The demonic one demanded that I strike quickly while no one could hear her. Her pulse was racing and the smell of her heated blood mixed with the alluring scent of her arousal was intoxication. _Do it now Edward. Her scent will only make the meal more delectable. _

The other one, the good angel, turned out to be no angel at all. While my imagined demon demanded her blood the "good angel" was demanding that I see to my human needs. _Wake her now Edward. Wake her and kiss her passionately then…_

_Whoa. Both of you shut up. _Yep. I was officially a raving lunatic. Bella gasped in pleasure and I immediately ejected myself from the bed. Not caring if my sudden movement shifted the mattress, and dashed through the window before I could do anything rash.

Bella

It was the Monday after thanksgiving break and I was a nervous wreck about seeing Edward again. Part of me was always afraid that I would bring out that dark Edward I saw outside the Cullen's house that night. How would he respond to my scent after such a long break? Would it torture him even more? The last thing I wanted to do was to cause him pain. The other part was genuinely excited. We would sit next to each other and he would ignore me as usual but at least I would be near him.

Then there was that nagging issue of my waking up Thanksgiving night to find my window wide open and the sweet smell of Edward lingering on my mattress. Not to mention the fact that I was in the middle of having an extremely embarrassing dream when I suddenly felt the bed shift and was jolted into consciousness. The minute my senses adjusted and I felt the cool wind coming from my window and the intoxicating scent of Edward on my sheets I knew that I hadn't been alone.

I debated over how I felt about it throughout the day and at lunch. How I felt about the fact that Edward might have intruded on my privacy was unclear. I was angry, but for no other reason than what it meant. It meant he knew I had explicitly loud dreams about him which was extremely embarrassing. But most of all I was tremendously flattered that Edward was thinking of me. But I couldn't get ahead of myself. After all I could have just imagined his scent and forgotten that I'd opened the window. Though that argument wasn't convincing I had hold my feelings in check until I knew if he was in fact in my room.

Fearing that I would die of embarrassment if I looked at Edward's face, I managed to avoid meeting his eyes as I neared my lunch table with my tray.

Placing my tray of lunch on the table I grumbled when I head the subject of my 'friends'' conversation. As usual it was about Edward Mason. Ever since we got back from break it was as if gushing about Edward in front of me was no longer unacceptable. I had my own self to blame for it. To the outsider I'm sure it seemed as if I was completely over him, indifferent even from the way I ignored him all day.

"God he's so gorgeous. He's even more beautiful than ever, if that's even possible." Lauren gushed.

The entire table nodded in agreement. "Seriously I could just watch him all day" The table let out a collective sigh as they continued to ogle Edward's table from across the lunchroom.

I threw myself down into the table and gave my tray of food my unwavering attention. Anything to keep from looking up at him. He could hear everything the girls around me were saying about him, I knew. Was he flattered by it? I almost wanted to do my friends a favor and tell them to keep their voices down. Their prattle continued and I couldn't stand it anymore. I groaned in frustration.

"Oh I'm sorry Bella. Is this making you uncomfortable?" Jessica asked with mock compassion.

I shook my head. "I'm fine guys really. I'm over it" I lied.

Lauren snickered. "If Edward was mine I'd never loose him like that "She muttered just loud enough for me to hear. Resisting the urge to shoot her a dirty look my eyes darted around the cafeteria until they landed on Edward without my bidding.

Edward was of course staring at me so when I looked his direction our eyes locked. Then he quickly darted his gaze downward and looked somewhat embarrassed. He looked like he would blush if he could.

_Oh no. He DID hear my dream. _He had to have been in my room that night. And his guilt ridden discomfort was only proving my theory. _Oh crap…_ I felt my face getting hot and I knew I was blushing.

After surviving lunch without dying of shame the rest of the day crept on and I had to fight the urge to feign illness to skip biology like the coward I was. _Come on Bella you can do this. He doesn't know you know he was in your room, remember? Don't make this awkward just go into that classroom and play dumb. _

I turned the doorknob of the classroom cautiously only to be immensely disappointed. My eyes scanned the classroom. Everyone was present except the seat next to mine was empty. _That proves it. He must be so embarrassed about the other night that he's skipped class to avoid me. _I hung my head as the teacher called me out on my tardiness and mopped to my seat.

"As you all remember last month your parents signed a permission slip allowing you to participate in today's blood donation" The teacher announced and I froze in my seat. I hated blood. The look and smell of it made me sick. In fact, when on earth did agree to donating blood.

_Oh yeah. _I remembered perfectly. I had talked my way out of it and agreed to sit out and watch everyone else. However I wasn't aware of the extent of my aversion to blood until a few weeks ago when I passed out at Dr. Cullen's house.

_What am I going to do? _The rusty smell of blood flooded my senses as the students around me started getting their fingers pricked and I felt sick. _God, how can Edward stand this sickening smell? And who dimmed the lights? _The room was getting darker and the floor was tilting as if I was only a rocking boat. I had to get out of there. The metal chair scrapped against the linoleum floor as I shot out of my seat and raced for the door.

My teacher shot me a confused look. "Miss Swan are you…"

Something cool and hard suddenly came into contact with my head. The floor.

**AN: You owe me for not stopping here. You know how to show your gratitude.**

"Bella. Bella. Wake up love." A musical voice sang.

Though my eyes were still closed I could feel that something soft was underneath me. My eyelids fluttered open in shock and I took in my surroundings slowly. The blindingly bright lights and stark walls greeted me. I was on a bed, I realized…in the school clinic…with Edward hovering over me.

My memory came flooding back. "How?" I managed to choke out.

His beautiful face was ridden with so many emotions it was difficult to know how he was feeling. "Bella I'm so sorry" he choked. His voice was thick with guilt.

What was he sorry about? Being in my bedroom? I remained silent.

"I know how much you hate blood. I should have warned you that they were taking blood today. I'm so sorry. You're in here because of me." He explained. His honey eyes were pleading for forgiveness.

"Huh?" _Very intelligent. _"Edward what are you talking about? You're not at fault here. It's just a little phobia. Besides, I'm fine. I just passed out a little. It's not like I fell off a cliff or anything."

His jaw clenched. "Bella you could have hit your head really hard and caused permanent even fatal damage."

"So?" I countered, truly confused about why he was so upset. "But I'm fine now. I don't understand why you're getting so bent out of shape over a little incident. Where were you anyway?" I asked but as soon as I did the realization dawned on me. Edward couldn't be around blood any more than I could.

"I don't think I have to answer that" he replied, making me very aware of the school nurse standing in the front of the small open clinic. "I know how you can't handle blood. I should have had you skip with me." He continued.

"Why?" I asked.

"I…I feel very protective of you" he answered as his eyes pierced mine with deep intensity.

"Oh" I said lamely. Really what else could I say to that?

Edward suddenly stiffened and started dragging me to my feet. "I think we should go." His voice was so urgent that I didn't argue. I allowed him to lead me towards the exit. The nurse was about to protest when two things happened. The school bell rang, which dismissed us from school for the day and technically discharged me from the clinic, and Mike suddenly pushed pass me carrying someone's gagging limp body with him.

The scent of fresh blood made my knees wobble, forcing Edward to hold me upright. Edward quickened his pace and sped me away from the office at a superhuman pace. The colorful lockers were all a blur as he neared the main exit and didn't stop until we were outside and standing at my truck.

"That was close" I breathed. My voice was full of relief.

"You're telling me" Edward muttered.

I suddenly looked up at him with amazement. I couldn't help it. I felt unbridled happiness. Edward and I shared something. Both of us couldn't be around blood. Though it wasn't exactly the same I suddenly felt as if I had an inkling of understanding of what he was going through. My lips curled upwards until I was grinning like a Cheshire cat, from ear to ear.

"What?" he asked slightly annoyed at my obvious lack of recognizing how "dangerous" he was.

"Nothing" I replied innocently and started fumbling for my keys in my bag. "Well I'll see you tomorrow." I turned to leave, not wanting to overstay my welcome in his presence.

He reached out to stop me and I froze in my tracks. "Bella wait. I was hoping you'd let me accompany you home so we can talk about something."

_Oh no. Here it comes. _I winced. He was obviously going to talk about the other night. "Ah…um…how will you get home?" I asked dumbly. I already knew about his superhuman speed.

He didn't respond to my question. Then the most beautifully lopsided smile broke across Edward's angelic face. "Please" he added softly.

_Need air in lungs. Earth to Bella. Breath. _I was rendered temporarily stunned. I couldn't describe it. I just couldn't breath, speak, think, or do anything. I just stood there like a mindless vegetable waiting for my brain to restart.

"Bella, you're not breathing" Edwards melodic voice sounded concerned. Finally I took a deep breath and blinked rapidly. What had happened? Edward appeared annoyed again and held out his hand. "Bella, please hand me the keys and get in the truck" He said sweetly, like before but urgently.

I did, knowing that the slowness of my truck would bother him. The truck always ticked him off. Eventually I was sitting next to him in the passenger seat and of partially sound mind. "You um wanted to talk to me," I started as the car began moving. I was dreading this conversation all day.

**AN: Sorry for the delay. Did anyone check out Rogue's Touch? Thoughts? Who else here can't wait for Twilight the movie? It's in less than a week guys!**

**Anyway, you know what to do. Review. I've gone mad with power again and I'm holding the story hostage until I 15 reviews for this chapter. Muahahahaaha. Cough. Cough. **


	10. Movie Review

**This is my Twilight Movie review!!!**

**This is going to be the most comprehensive in-depth review ever.**

**If you haven't seen the movie please look away.**

**Final warning**

**Review on my review and tell me what you though of it. Did you love it? Hate it? Agree with me?**

Okay so let me start this off by saying I thought it was exactly like the book. Just the way I saw it in my head. Some of it was different. But generally it was pretty right on. I thought the tension was portrayed pretty well. Robert Patinson managed to look strange, tormented, and creepy while making it look sexy simultaneously. If you didn't read Edward as mildly creepy in the books then you'll be shocked and disappointed. If like me you did, then this movie will be everything you saw in your head while reading it. The biology scene was unintentionally funny and the film often had people laughing at the wrong moments. But I liked that about it. People were laughing because it was so ridiculously awkward at times. But what else do you expect when you combine a 16 year old and a 100 year old vampire out for her blood. Sadly although the movie is two hours the relationship development feels rushed. It didn't do a good job of showing time passing. We knew that time went because we read the book but if you didn't you'll be yelling out, "So soon?" at certain parts. Like their confessions of love. Because they only met 15 minutes ago in the film it seems strange and rushed. Time passed in the film, yes, but they didn't use any devises of showing it so it was literally like they met and they were in love.

The movie was funny when it tried to be and hilarious when it didn't. Billy is hilarious and so it Charlie. He's my new favorite character. My heart literally wept for him towards the end when she uses Rene's line on him to run away with the Cullens. Jacob was surprisingly not annoying and sexy. I can't wait to see more of him in the sequel. The Cullens were rarely shown (3 scenes people) so we didn't really get to know their powers or how they worked. The Baseball scene was AMAZING. Alice's grace and movements were a thrill to watch. Jasper was ridiculously sexy and aloof. Rosalie didn't speak enough to be hated and Emmet, Carlisle, and Esme might as well have been apart of the background. The problem was the pace was just so off. They had two hours and it felt rushed and yet too long. I sat in a theater filled with fans who kept checking their cell phone clocks ¾ of the way in. We loved it but they somehow made it feel like it was 4 hours long while rushing everything and not developing the storyline. I think the culprit is the time spent on the vampire killings. They wasted like 20 minutes on useless vampire death investigations. Who the hell cares that's not even in the story? Basically if you didn't read the book you'll be confused…and entertained of course.

The "bad" vampires weren't shown enough for anyone to form an opinion of them. James is killed after only having one scene of dialogue. We never get to know him so consequently no one really feels like clapping when Alice rips his head off. People were muttering, "I don't get it. Edward seems creepier than James".

All in all if you're a younger teen you'll be disappointed. The film brings out the flaws that Bella's perspective cant. In the film Edward isn't perfect. He's awkward and a terrible liar. He seriously makes zero attempts to protect his identity. She's like, "How did you do all that?" and he's like, "I'm strange. I can't tell you what I am…blah blah". Why would he say all that? How is that keeping your vampirism a secret? Anyway, you can literally see the torture on his face in every scene, which is believable. Thus if you're used to seeing him as perfection your heart will be stepped on. If like many older people reading it you saw the strange tension between them and thought that Bella may have been glossing over some flaws then you'll be pleasantly surprised.

The movie didn't feel epic like the book. The lack of action and proper pace are to blame for that. Yet it does bring realness to the story. The teens at Forks are WAY more funny and realistic than Meyer portrayed them. Charlie is deep and less 2-dementional. His character is really relatable. You'll probably watch Bella and his interactions and see a piece of your dad in him. Steward is a perfect Bella because she's basically acting like herself. Bella's character isn't particular enough for people to protest to the way she played it. Anyone could pretty much play it any way they wanted and it would be fine. However it's not until the last hospital scene that you see the desperation she feels towards Edward in the entire story. I wished she'd have channeled that throughout the movie. Overall I loved it. I saw what I read in the book and I liked it. Many didn't but it seemed that only younger teens felt that way. I don't really know what that means but hey it was entertaining. Now that they know how big Twilight is the studio will probably have a bigger budget and won't be so pressed to stuff everything in 2 measly hours. Hopefully they deal with that whole pace situation. Seriously without warning they go from, "Who are you" to "I cant live without you". At least show the seasons changing so we know time went by. I can't get over that. When I rent it I'll have to pause it after the car accident scene, walk away, and come back pretending time passed to be able to deal with it. Lol.


	11. Subtexts

**Ok sorry for the long time to update. I said I'd update after 15 reviews and I technically did…with a review. This one is shorter than usual but I really needed to transition to some big things coming up. **

**Thanks everyone for reviewing. Don't stop now. You know that new huge annoying review button is hard to avoid. **

**Songs: **

**Torture Me- Red Hot Chile Pepper**

**You know I don't own it. **

**Enjoy**

Bella

My old truck groaned and creaked in protest as Edward pushed its speed limits down the road. He hadn't answered my question and it was making me nervous. He wasn't looking at me. Edward's eyes were fixed at something in the distance. Suddenly my overactive imagination kicked in. He said he couldn't be around me and yet here he was driving me home. Alone. What if this was all a plot to get me by myself to drink my blood.

Edward turned to me and cocked his head in confusion. "Bella what are you thinking about right now. You're heartbeat is going insane."

"Oh um... didn't you um...." Oh no. What if he was in my room to try to kill me? What if he set this whole thing up to finish what he started? "Didn't you say we should stay away from each other?" I asked. My voice was weak and high pitched.

Edward reeled back as if I'd slapped him. "Are you _afraid_?" he demanded as if it were the most illogical thing to be ever.

Isn't that what he wanted me to be? Wasn't he constantly telling me how dangerous he was? And now when I finally show a bit of common sense and take his being a vampire into consideration he looks at me as if I'd lost my mind?

"Moderately" I managed to answer. "Should I be?" I asked.

"No" he answered darkly. His voice didn't match his statement. "I just wanted us to talk Bella. You can relax now. You're heartbeat is driving me a bit insane"

He sounded frustrated and angry with me. _Why? Why is he mad? _I finally start listening to him by being cautious and he's angry about it. _I give up. Bipolarism must come with the territory of being the undead. _

I let out a long sigh. "Fine Edward." I bit my tongue and waited for him to speak.

"I wanted to talk to you because" _Here it comes. _I cringed as if I were expecting him to hit me. "I need your honest opinion on something" he said.

_Uh…? _

"My…um…mother is returning from her trip in about a month" he explained and paused to gage my reaction. I had none. "Usually when something like this happens a death would need to be faked to protect our identity from suspicion."

A light bulb went off in my head. "You would have to leave." I said, making it more a statement than a question. He nodded. _Oh no. _This couldn't be happening. It was an entirely different thing to have Edward gone from me altogether. I couldn't handle that. We still loved each other and I needed to be near him. Once again my heartbeat accelarated and hysteria began to creep in.

"I don't want go" He was saying. _Could this mean he needs to be with me to? Maybe that's what the whole bedroom stalking thing is about. _I immediately perked up. "I just don't think it would be fair to the Cullens to uproot them like that."

My heart fell. There I was thinking he was upset about leaving me only to find out he was only thinking of the Cullens. I knew my disappointment was written across my face.

Edward noticed my dejected expression and looked like he wanted to say something but didn't. His next words came out rehearsed and even. "I need you to honestly tell me if convincing my mother that I'm alive is possible."

He trusted me. Otherwise he must have thought I would just lie to keep him with me. _Okay Bella. Just BE honest. _I gazed at his expectant face. He was beautiful as he always was but there was an unnatural innocence about him that conflicted with his predator like aura. His once green eyes were now a strange gold color that varied in hues ranging from light honey to black. He was taller, more defined and angular, and his movements seemed calculated. It was as if he was reminding himself to do things like breathing or shifting his weight. And most of all his voice was completely different. When he spoke he sounded like he was singing a rock balled. There was no other way to describe it. It was deep yet musical.

I chose my words diplomatically. "Well… no one at school seems to think anything's strange about your looks. They know it's different but I'm pretty sure everyone just thinks you had a makeover or something."

"Yes but wouldn't my own mother know?" He asked. "I'm only asking because I have very few memories of her. My human memories are all but faded." He confessed.

_That must be terrible. To not even remember his own mother. _"Not necessarily." I chose my words carefully. "Your mother and mine are very similar. Elizabeth is very…flighty. She's a wonderful mom, just an absent one." I explained. Edward face was deadpanned. "She's barely here because of her film career." I continued. "So anyway, I doubt she'd suspect anything different from everyone else. Does that bother you?" I asked.

Edward shook his head earnestly. "No. Not at all. It's actually very good news. I'm sure Carlisle will be very happy to hear it. Thank you."

I breathed a sigh of relief. Edward wasn't going anywhere for now. The feeling of cool keys being placed in my hand broke my reverie. I was already in my driveway. My heart began to accelerate again but for different reasons. He was leaving. I couldn't handle breaking our contact yet so I pushed to conversation onto dangerous territory.

"Edward?"

"Yes?" He said as he paused before exiting the truck. He moved slowly as he grasped the door handle, almost as if he were afraid to break it.

Just then my phone chimed, telling me I'd received a text message. _Who could be texting me? _I rarely received them and when I did they were usually love notes from Edward. As I peered at my phone I noticed that the message was from Alice.

_Don't say anything._

__Alice_

_That's strange. How does…oh of course. _

"What is it?" Edward inquired. He was still halfway out the truck.

"Er…nothing" I lied.

"See you Wednesday then" he said before disappearing from my sight. The truck door was closed and I sat for several moments with the keys in my hands too bewildered to move. _What does he mean Wednesday it's only Monday?_

Wednesday. I'd have to wait a whole two days to see him again. As I mopped to the door the sound of another car door slamming made me jump. I whipped around to see Jacob standing in my driveway looking like he was posing for a Gap ad with his long native American hair whipping around his face in the wind.

"Jacob Black" my heart skipped to see my old friend. "How the heck have you been?" I ran right into his big arms. "And are you old enough to be driving?" I scolded.

He chucked. "I'm sixteen Bells. I thought I'd come visit my old friend who never talks to me. How's that boyfriend of yours. Ed or Eugene or what's his name?" he asked with a cheeky smile.

I pretended to whack him with my purse. "His name is Edward, Jake. And he's fine I guess. We're not really dating anymore. How about you? Any girls?"

"Cant keep them off me" he laughed and I joined in. I forgot how cheerful Jake was. I almost forgot that I was just talking to my vampire ex. "So what happened between you two? Don't tell me that idiot broke up with you."

I sighed. I really didn't want to go there. "No it was mutual" I lied. "How's Billy" I asked, trying to change to subject.

"He's good. He says he misses you. You never come to visit anymore so I decided to come see what you been up to."

I smiled up at him. Jacob was like the sunshine, you couldn't help smiling when you were around him. "How was thanksgiving?" I asked.

He scoffed. "Bella that's a pilgrim's holiday."

I froze terrified that I had offended him until I saw the corners of his lips curl upwards and he began roaring with laughter. "That was messed up Jake."

"You should have seen the look on your face" he said between gasps.

"Oh shut up. Come inside. It's freezing out here." He was still chuckling but he complied and followed me into the living room where he plopped down loudly on the couch and began flipping through the channels.

I flew myself onto the couch beside him and snatched to remote. "For the love of God, no sports recaps. I set the TV on CNN and began listening to the news in the background while pulling out my folder of homework assignments from school. Jake watched me incredulously. "What?"

"You're like an 80 year old trapped in an 18 year old's body" He grabbed the remote and flicked it back on ESPN.

We hung out on the couch together catching up for about an hour before Charlie came over and Jake excused himself.

"Hey Jacob. It's been awhile son" Charlie called as he entered the house.

"Yeah my dad says hi by the way. Bella I'll see you around" he said before leaving.

Charlie kissed me on the head and plopped down in Jake's seat beside me. "I always liked that boy. Something going on that I should know about?" he asked. I rolled my eyes. "Alright well good. You don't need to be concentrating on boys anyway. Not after that lowlife Masen boy…"

"Dad we're friends now it's ok. He didn't mean to break my heart." I defended. "Please dad can we not talk about this now"

Later

By the time I went up to my room I'd almost completely forgotten about my stressful day of passing out in biology and Edward's night stalking. I pulled my phone open and stared at Alice's text. What could she mean by stopping me from talking to Edward? Maybe she knew something I didn't. If I told Edward I knew he was here he would undoubtedly just pull away from me again and stop. I didn't really want him to stop. Embarrassment and all. With that thought in mind I decided to call Alice for advice.

"Oh hey" Alice picked up at the final ring, something that was completely uncommon for her. She usually picked it up before the first ring even finished.

"Hey Alice can we talk about earlier?" I asked.

"Um…"

"Alice, are you busy?" She definitely sounded distracted.

"Um…yes…" She hung up immediately. That was weird even for Alice. I sulked in my bed. I was going to have to either wait a whole two days to see Edward again and I didn't know what Alice's problem was. It was getting to be a full time job keeping track of the undead and their constant mood changes.

**AN: Yes Bella is 18 because it's taking place a year after she moved to forks so technically during New Moon. I made a huge decision to add Jacob Black in the mix after seeing how ridiculously hot he was in the movie. But don't worry. I'm not trying to add a stupid love triangle. **

**AN 2: Also, Jacob is human here because a) Edward was human and b) The balance between vampires and wolves hasn't changed yet so there was no reason for him to change. Maybe he will later. Who knows? This story really isn't about him. He's just good eye candy. Lol. **


	12. Hot and Cold

**AN: 100 alerts for this story. Wow thanks guys. I'm so glad I'm seeing new people review for my work. It's great to not just have the same 5 awesome people reviewing over and over again. I LOVE your feedback. Really it keeps me updating. Keep it coming and Happy Thanksgiving. **

**It's not mine I swear.**

**Inspiration: Bella's Lullaby!!!**

**I Know What you Are**

**All from the Twilight soundtrack of course.**

Bella

5 months earlier

"Where are you taking me?" I asked as he held out his hand to help me climb.

It was one of those uncharacteristically bright summer days and the sunlight's reflection off our pale skin made it seem as if we were glowing.

My hand grasped his and he tightened his grip to pull me towards him. When he did the impact of my collision almost knocked us backwards.

When I looked around I was astounded at the beautiful meadow I found myself in.

"Like it?" Edward asked as he wrapped his warm arms around me from behind.

"Like…I love it." I exclaimed. "When did you find this place? How come you haven't taken me here before?"

He shrugged. "I wanted to bring you here the moment I met you but quite frankly I didn't think you had the balance to make it up here alive." Edward's face told me that he wasn't joking.

Feeling caught in the moment I sprawled myself out on the ground and Edward followed, bringing his handsomely lopsided smirk with him. "You're not going to respond to that are you" he asked.

"Nope I refuse to acknowledge any more jokes about my clumsiness." I was still in a partially sour mood from having fallen on my face in front of the entire school on our last day of school.

Edward smirked and stretched his arms behind his head then motioned for me to snuggle closer. We both were silent as we lay snuggled up while gazing up at the leaves hovering over us. "So next year's our final year" he began and I knew where it was going.

He was looking forward to being a senior, graduating and going off to college. I on the other hand knew where it would all lead. We would inevitably separate. After having our last hurrah of a senior year we'd go off to different colleges and I'd inevitably receive a breakup call. And would I even blame him. It never made sense for him to date the girl who trips over a fork in front of the entire school. When he said final year I knew it meant it was _our _final year.

I sat there with my melancholic thoughts while Edward waited for me to respond. When I didn't he nudged me lightly. "What are you thinking" he asked. His brows furrowed.

I let out a loaded sigh. "It's stupid"

"Tell me" he urged.

"Well…next year we're graduating and we probably won't be going to the same schools and I know it's really stupid to be thinking that far ahead but…"

There was his gorgeous crooked smile again. "Is this you're way of asking me where I see this going?"

"No" I shot back quickly. "Well…I…I guess it kind of is."

"Bella you love me right?" He asked.

"Of course" I breathed earnestly.

He smiled at the artlessness of my confession. "And you know I love you?"

For some unknown reason. "So you've told me" I muttered.

Edward let out an exasperated sigh. "I do love you Bella. And one day I plan on proving to you just how much I do."

At the moment my hormone riddled teenaged mind could only think of one way he could be speaking of and a slow blush crept from the tip of my toes to my cheeks. Edward took one look at my stained cheeks and stifled a laugh

"Oh come here." He snaked his arm behind my waist and pulled me on top of him. Of course my blush only deepened as I looked down at him. "That was not what I meant. But," he ghosted his fingers over my chest and stopped at the dip of my shirt. I stared at him in shock when his fingers grasped my shirt in that same spot and he tugged me downwards and crushed his lips to mine. "we can start here".

There was a brief moment when I almost had a heart attack until I felt his lips curl upwards against mine and realized that he was joking.

"Edward" I wined and rolled off him. "I see you're not taking me seriously today" I huffed indignantly.

Edward held up his hands in concession but the cheeky smile remained as he sat up in the grass. "I was serious...about the first half of that statement anyway."

My face was grim. What could he mean by showing me them?

"But I'm not going to say anything. Lets postpone this conversation lets say, a year shall we" he asked. "I know how much the subject…there it is…I didn't even say it and you've paled."

My face was surely stark white. Marriage. He meant marriage. He knew how much I hated the subject. We'd never really spoken about it seriously, just in the abstract but even then the thought brought me back to the failed relationship of my parents.

But still. "You love me that much?" I gasped.

Present:

Alice

_Damn it why can't I see her future? _It was the strangest thing. I'd just seen a future a minute ago. She had told Edward that she saw him in her room and it drastically changed their future. No. I couldn't have that. Nothing was going to keep Bella from becoming my sister.

Maybe it was wrong to manipulate people's futures like that. _Just this once. _Then much to my dismay almost immediately after Edward left her future was blank. Completely blank. My mind ran over the many possibilities for almost an hour as I tried over and over to see anything but the black haze that was her future. Could it mean death? No certainly not. I would have seen it.

"Alice what's wrong?" Jasper asked. He was picking up on my frantic emotions.

"I…I don't know." I shook my head frantically as he ran a soothing hand over mine to calm me. Then almost immediately a vision of Bella dialing my number appeared. "So strange," I kept muttering incoherently.

How could she disappear for an hour and then reappear like that? Something must have been blocking me. But who?

Beside me Jasper stiffened. I didn't need to use my ability to see that an argument was coming. Jasper, as much as I loved him didn't quite understand my obsession with "Edward's human". He thought that I shouldn't be dedicating so much time to Bella and that I should just let Edward's future run his course. But how could I? Leaving Edward to manage his own future was like letting Bella pick out her own clothes. It was a disaster. Edward only winded up lonely and miserable and Bella well…wearing God awful outfits.

"Jasper, please don't…"

"What is it Alice? Is it a vision?" he asked. His handsome face was etched with concern.

_That's odd. _"Well…I thought of Bella and I suddenly saw James. You remember him from last year."

He raised an eyebrow. "How can I forget? The man throws a mean curveball."

I chucked with him but my mind was working in overdrive. Why did I think of James of all people? James who I had only met once and had interrupted our family game of baseball. The memory replayed itself in my mind. Laurent and his coven had happened upon us during a game. Although they were traditional nomadic vampires we had gotten along nicely and even enjoyed a good friendly game. When the game had finished the three excused themselves as they were heading further north and that was the last we'd heard of them.

Though we barely spoke the memory of James' face when he saw me still made my skin crawl. He was friendly enough throughout the game but had been shell shocked when he laid eyes on me.

As my mind scoured for fresh vision of Bella my cell phone rang.

"It's Bella." Jasper announced as he held the ringing phone to my eyelevel.

Suddenly I could not move. The vision was becoming clearer. James was coming back to Forks. But why? Did he fancy us friends? Bella…

"Oh hey" I said to the phone Jasper had answered and pulled to my ear.

She said something but I couldn't hear her. Bella and James were standing somewhere in the snow. Bella was cold and shivering. There was no Victoria or Laurent with them.

"Um…" Oh God he…

"Alice, are you busy?" she asked.

"Um…yes…" I was hyperventilated thought I didn't need air and Jasper promptly closed the phone.

Jasper shook me until I calmed down and his eyes pierced mine. "Alice you're afraid. Tell me what you're afraid of."

**AN: To clear up any confusion. **

**I know I aged Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett backwards to keep them in school. They're all seniors with Bella.**

**Alice and the Cullens still think Laurent is they're leader since nothing happened to break the charade. **

**AN: Review Luvs**


	13. Then There Were None

**Okay guys Sorry for the wait. Finals, you know how that goes. **

**AN: So this chapter is leading up to something. Something big. You wont guess what. Anyway I debated over whether I should post the next chapter or not but I decided to go with the play on this. I'll update soon. **

* * *

4 Months earlier

Bella

So I finally decided that Edward and I were ready to take our relationship to the next level.

Because we spent every waking moment together I was sure everyone around school just assumed we were sexual but the truth was we'd never moved past kissing and heavy petting. Almost a year into our relationship and I was still a virgin, in every sense of the word.

Edward, God bless him, never pressured me. He was, admittedly, as inexperienced as I was and it gave me courage. Ever the gentleman he never once brought the subject up. But to be honest, he didn't have to. I could see it in eyes; that look of both longing and then self loathing, every time we got into a heated make out session that ended in his wrenching himself away from me.

And why? Why were we the only couple dating for almost a year that have yet to even see each other naked? It wasn't like I didn't want to. Especially lately. I was beginning to interpret everything Edward did as a blatant tease. Like yesterday when he casually slid off his shirt in an extremely manly manor to inspect my decaying truck's engine. He used his thin shirt as a barrier between the overheated components and his hand. Why did the Gods have to bless him with a superb knowledge of all things mechanic and the most amazing set of abs I'd ever witnessed.

I just stood there, mouth agape, knees quivering, staring at him as if he were the God of Sex and Cars himself. Hmm... or perhaps sex in cars. Alas my mind was becoming increasingly perverse. And he just kept on inspecting my truck, totally oblivious to the fact that I was calculating precisely how I wanted to attack him. No this had to stop.

"E-Edward, you know you don't have to. If you want I'll have Jake inspect it tomorrow. He's really good at this stuff." I'd suggested.

Edward finally looked up at me. At first he seemed a bit put off by the mere suggestion of Jake doing something he clearly wanted to do for me. Did I mention he was sweating? Glistening was more like it. Beads of sweat coated his perfectly sculpted chest. Dear God, must avert eyes.

When he noticed that I was having trouble breathing he appeared concerned. He dropped the hood and rushed over to me. "What's wrong are you alright? You look fevered?" He asked.

Fevered. I'd say. "No," I shook my head in annoyance at his obtuseness and he moved closer to hold me, making the problem worse. "Clearly I'm giving an issue with the fact that my boyfriend, who happens to look like a male model, is standing shirtless in my garage and _glistening". A_nnoyance and frustration seeped through my voice.

I resisted the urge to fan myself like one of those people having hot flashes but couldn't resist the blush I felt creeping up my cheeks. Had I really said that out loud? Clearly I had an issue with keeping my thoughts to myself around him.

Edward looked gob smacked at my confession at first but then a cheeky grin spread across his handsome face. His innocent green eyes were aglow with mischief. "Well then perhaps the problem would be remedied if my gorgeous girlfriend removed _her _shirt. Then we could both be bothered." He suggested in a husky voice.

My mind was boggled. Had those words really escaped my perfectly in control boyfriend? The look on his face told me he meant what he was saying but I couldn't move. I was too entranced by the sudden shift in our relationship. I could feel it. Suddenly I knew our relationship was about to take a more adult turn. Gone was the innocent puppy love of junior year. I loved him and he loved me and I knew he would always. It wasn't the ordinary high school fling before college. This was real. I could bank on that.

Edward had made it clear just what his intentions were towards me and, although the thought of marriage made me envision a montage of frightening scenes from horror movies, the fact that he loved me that much, gave me a new height of confidence, in us and in myself. Finally I knew he loved me as much as I loved him. He didn't care that he was light-years beyond me in looks or could have any girl he wanted. He wanted me, just the way I was.

Internally I chastised myself but only briefly. _Bella you fool. Why haven't you been devoting your every spare moment to doing sit ups with a boyfriend like this. Shame on you? _Really what was I thinking? I was really the most unprofessional girlfriend ever.

I was just working up enough courage to follow his request when he suddenly, quite ruefully, closed the gap between us and put his hand on my red cheek. "Bella, forgive me. You don't have to…"

I cut his off with my next action. Quickly before, I lost my nerve I threw off my loose fitting T-shirt and stood before him wearing only a cotton gray bra and my pants of course. It was Edward's turn to have trouble breathing. His breath hitched, and I wasn't sure if it was a good thing but resisted to urge to inspect myself self consciously. I had an average body. Size B-cups, pale skin, slightly rounded stomach. But compared to Edward I felt extremely inadequate,

Edward eyes told me he begged to differ. He had the look of a man who'd woken up in heaven which flattered me immensely. Maybe all guys didn't want super models after all.

* * *

Present

Though I never heard another word from Alice I was realized the next day why Edward told me he wouldn't be there.

Ah. Of course, it was sunny today. And freezing. It was the first sunny day in weeks. I got out my truck despondently and noticed that Edwards Volvo was nowhere to be found.

As the day progressed I realized that the Cullen gang was missing too. Then it hit me. Vampires couldn't go out in the sun. No one had explained to me why that is, naturally, but I assumed it came with the undead territory.

As the hours went by I thought about the hopeless situation I found myself in. For I was indeed in love with a vampire. And I knew that there was no way I would get over him. I would age and pine away with my feelings until I died and he would simply go on existing.

The day wore on and I moped from class to class in a state of abject dejection until finally the bell dismissed us for the day.

What to do? I could go to my house and pine away alone, possibly crying, or force myself to hang out with my friends. None of the choices seemed savory so I hopped into my truck and drove aimlessly for while until I arrived at LaPush.

I didn't hesitate as I knocked on Jacob's door unannounced, my vanity telling me he would be glad to see me. But when Billy answered he looked quite the opposite.

"Oh…um what do you need?" Billy asked hurriedly.

What did he mean, 'what do I need?' Did I suddenly need a reason to visit my childhood friend? From the look on his face I apparently did.

"Hi Billy. I uh… I wanted to come by to see Jake. Is he here?" I asked.

Billy pushed the door so that I could only see part of his face and nothing behind him and replied, "No he's…out…"

_What? Why's he acting so weird? _

"Its fine dad, let me talk to her," I heard someone say from behind the door and then suddenly a large man was standing in front of me.

"J-Jake is that you?" I cried, disbelieving.

The hulk-like version of Jake closed the door and pulled be towards my truck.

_Why does all this seem so familiar?_

"Look Bells. I…I don't know what to really say except that I've been going through some changes lately…" he explained.

"What! Since yesterday?" I exclaimed. "Look at yourself. Are you telling me you just naturally grew 3 feet since 24 hours ago?"

Jacob began to shake and I took two cautionary steps away from him. He looked like he was about to loose his temper. Odd, I'd never been afraid of him before.

"I'm not _telling _you anything Bella," he said through clenched teeth. "Look I don't think it's safe for you to be around me right now. I…I can't really explain what's happening right now. You need to leave."

I just stood there, astonished This couldn't have been happening to me twice.

"I-is this some kind of joke?" I sputtered.

_What the hell? Is he a vampire TOO?_

His cold stare told me he wasn't kidding. This was really happening.

"We were just hanging out yesterday. How could…"

"Bella you have to go. I can't…you're not safe with me."

With that, he practically tossed me into my truck and shut the door loudly.

As I drove in no general direction I fought back the tears and agony that gripped me.

Why was this happening to me? Was my life now the victim of some cruel joke?

Was someone systematically trying to take away everyone I loved?

Suddenly I felt an overwhelming desire for a physical release for the pain that engulfed me. I wanted to hit something, hard. No, I wanted something to hit me, to make me feel physically what I felt inside.

Without even planning it I was pulling into the local drugstore and parking next to a familiar car. I wasn't really sure what I was doing there, perhaps looking for a distraction from going home and facing my pain head on.

As I dallied up and down the little isles I knew I was safe there. I couldn't cry there. Couldn't cry in public. As long as I didn't go home and up to my room I'd be safe.

As I moped around like a hollow shell of myself, my mind was so preoccupied that I didn't see the girl in front of me and walked right into her, knocking the products out of her hands.

"I'm sorry. God, I'm such a klutz." I mumbled with out looking up as I bent down to gather her things. "Here let me pick those up."

Then I inspected the products in my hands.

_Why does someone need five bottles of concealer? _

"T…thanks Bella." She muttered as she snatched to make-up from my hand and turned to leave.

When I recognized her voice I looked up at her slowly, noting the bruises littering her arms and the red splotches on her cheeks.

"Angela, Oh my God. What happened to you? Were you mugged?"

Angela clutched the makeup to her chest and looked as if she were fighting back tears.

"Bella, its n-nothing. I just. I just…" Tears began streaming down her face and I forgot my own problems for a moment to comfort my friend.

Something was definitely wrong.

"Here" I took the makeup from her hands to take them up to the counter with her. "Let's talk about it outside okay."

Angela nodded and looked like a lost child.

I had the feeling that my problems were about to look very small.

* * *

**AN: Sorry again for the wait. That's not how I usually get down. lol.**

**Review= Another update this week!**

**Stay tuned guys**


	14. My Wound

**AN: Well I promised to update this week and I did! Show me some love. **

**Warning: It's intense. All of it. No rape, no lemons, and no death. Just intense. **

**Disclaimer: I barely own this chapter. Most of it's taken from a scene in the play, Spring Awakening. **

**Inspiration: The Word of your Body by Spring Awakening**

O, I'm gonna be wounded  
O, I'm gonna be your wound  
O, I'm gonna bruise you  
O, you're gonna be my bruise

I parked my car on the side of the forest and ran and fast as I could with tears streaming down my face. Angela's confession plagued me. Why? Why, Angela. She was so quiet and kind. She didn't deserve this.

Another forbidden thought plagued me. I felt…almost envious. I was so dead inside. I needed to _feel _something, anything. I wished for a moment that my loving father would strike me. Just once. Make me feel, physically, what I'd been feeling emotionally since Edward's change.

As I ran I tripped on a loose branch and fell to the ground crying furiously. Feelings that I'd long been repressing overcame me. Everyday I saw Edward ignoring me, I died inside. I killed myself emotionally so I wouldn't feel the pain. So I could smile and laugh it off. But now. I wanted to feel it. I needed a physical release for what I couldn't deal with emotionally. Where was my Mr. Webberto beat me senseless? Poor Angela didn't deserve it. I deserved it.

"Bella what are you doing here alone?" Edward's voice asked.

My head shot up, and sure enough it was Edward standing over my crumbled body looking a mixture of horrified concern and disinterest.

* * *

Edward

I was trying my hardest to mask the fact that her tears irked me to the core. I wanted to pick her crumpled body from the ground and kiss away those tears. What happened? Why was she in the forest alone? Had someone hurt her? If it was that Jacob Black I would hunt his ass down and make him pay, slowly.

"Bella please, why are you here. Did someone hurt you?" I asked urgently as I helped her on her feet. Luckily there were no scrapes on her exposed legs otherwise the blood lust would have taken over. "Bella please answer me…"

"No, it's just _that_," she cried hysterically. "No one hurts me. No one. I can't _feel _anything"

What on earth was she saying? "Bella calm down. Please. Tell me what happened."

I watched her intently, with horror as she relayed what Angela had told her about her father physically abusing her. Fury overcame me. I wanted to march over to Angela's house and beat her father senseless. He was the reason Bella was in pain.

"It's alright Bella. Don't worry Angela will be okay. I wont let anything happen to her" I assured her.

"And _nobody _is ever going to hurt you like that. I'll make sure of it." I promised her darkly. If anyone put a finger on her it would be a slow death for them.

She shook her head violently. "No, don't you understand? I feel nothing. Angela's dad _beats _her until her body is black and blue. He _hurts _her, _really_" she sobbed.

"I've _never _bean beaten _ever,_" she confessed almost enviously.

I wasn't following her. Wasn't that a good thing?

"You don't know how it feels. To be so dead. _Inside_" She continued.

_Oh but I think I do…_ To feel so cold and dead inside. To want to be beaten and broken just to feel again. Anything just to feel alive again. But not her. Never her.

"Are you saying you _want _to be beaten?" I asked with horror. Had she gone clinically insane?

"Yes" She answered calmly as if it were the most logical answer. "Take this stick for example" she dipped to retrieve a large twig from the floor then examined it in her hands.

"It's so hard and long. I'll bet it would inflict…" she trailed off longingly.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was enraged. "I don't believe anyone's ever been better for it Bella." I bellowed as her, my temper was rising at her nonsense.

"For what" She asked calmly.

"Being beaten," I yelled. "How could you envy what Angela goes through? How could you _want_ someone to hurt you?"

She shrugged nonchalantly and plastered the same placid look I'd grown accustomed to over the months on her face.

"People hurt each other all the time." She stated. "They say they'll always be there and then they disappear. People change and leave the people they love behind…"

Each word stabbed my dormant heart. So this was what she'd been secretly feeling inside.

"Bella," I interrupted her. "But to envy…"

"Oh I'm sorry Edward would you prefer to kill me softly with your indifference instead," she interrupted me venomously. "It's funny how we prefer to hurt someone emotionally. To torture them quietly until they die inside but physically, just a slap here and there and it's _so _outrageous."

"Bella, you're not making sense" She was making perfect sense. It was as if her feelings mirrored my own masochistic ones.

"Hit me," she asked softly and suddenly.

"Bella no. Put that ridiculous stick down. I'm not going to hit you. Not now or ever." I roared. What did she think this was, some sort of catholic school girl fantasy? Did she really think I was going to idly beat her with a stick in the forest?

"But Edward I've _never _been beaten," she pleaded and I almost felt like giving in.

"Are you insane?"

"Fine" She dropped the stick. "With your hands then"

"Bella you know I'd kill you." With just the slightest pressure I could break her in half.

"Then…then do it softly. Try. But make it hurt" she pleaded whole heartedly.

I groaned. Why did I have a problem not giving Bella everything she asked for? I cupped her face in my arms gently and stared into her earnest eyes.

"Bella are you serious. Do you really want me to hit you? What will that accomplish?"

"Much"

I sighed and very gently, as if I were cradling a bubble, I brushed my hand ever so lightly across her cheek. Even though my actions were deliberate and slow it did the trick. She flinched at the sudden contact but was not severely hurt.

Shockingly her face held disappointment. "Harder. Please?"

I sighed again. Slapping the girl I loved in the face was not how I'd planned to spend the evening. Uncomfortably I examined her body and thought of places I could hit without severely maiming her or marking her face. _Yep, this is officially the worst day of my life. _It would not do at all to hit her with my hands. I caved and retrieved the blasted switch from the ground.

Perhaps spanking would be easier. I ignored her look of excitement as I motioned for her to turn around. I was seriously going to need years of counseling if I ever survived this night of hell. _No. You will NOT find anything sexual about this situation. No. Down boy. Down. Damn it. _

Apparently I did find the situation sexual because, much to my horror I was fully aroused. I ignored the feeling and delivered her backside a blow, with the least amount of pressure possible.

"That's not enough" She cried as the twig made contact.

I sighed in exasperation and tried again with more pressure. At least I was testing my control over my newfound strength.

"You're barely stroking me. Harder."

_You've got to be kidding me. _A little more roughly than I'd hoped I whipped Bella around to see the look of disappointment on her face. She clearly wasn't getting the amount of pain from me she wanted.

"Bend over" I ordered darkly and she turned around to comply, gripping a tree trunk for balance.

I hit her again, with the slightest increase in force.

She screamed. That did the trick.

"No harder." She commanded.

Again, I hit her.

"I don't feel that. That's not enough"

Something inside of me snapped. The most dangerous primal urge took over. I struck her again, but with marked force. She screamed; music to my monster's ears, and I paused, ready for her to ask me to stop. She didn't.

"More," she commanded her voice thick with pain and tears.

And I gave. I struck her over and over with increased force.

"That's…barely…going to…leave a mark" She gasped through tears.

No I couldn't hit her any harder. I would bruise her. Give her welts. Break her skin. Make her bleed and then kill her right there.

"Please…hurt me…sob…hurt me like you do everyday."

Again something snapped inside of me. My dead heart ached as I gave her what she wanted. For guilt and shame I hit her over and over, ignoring sound of her skin breaking, ignoring her sobs, for the sound of my sobs were louder. If I had tears they would be running down my cheek. The monster in me goaded me on. After all, it was my fault she was in this mess. I might as well give her the proper lashing she craved.

So I continued to hit her. Ignoring her tears but praying for her to tell me to stop but knowing I wouldn't. She didn't.

"No that's not enough."

Insane. At this point even a grown man would be writhing in pain. I could not go any harder without severely damaging her. She knew that. Why was she doing this to me?

"Is this what you want" I raged as I flipped her facing me and slapped her, hard, across the face. She fell to the ground in tears. What the hell was wrong with me? Wrong with us?

The monster in me became aware of the fact that she was bleeding from a scratch on her thigh. God, not now. While she sobbed I stood over her unable to even comfort her like I should have. Unable to even apologize. I had to leave before I killed her.

"Bella listen to me."

She continued sobbing.

Not knowing what else to do or having any other choice I ran away before the monster could take over. Leaving her, sobbing there on the floor.

**AN: Yeah I know. Morbid right? Although I admit my stories do have a masochistic flair I take no responsibility for this one. This chapter is basically word-for-word a scene from Spring Awakening. I really thought it was a key scene for the couple which led to, well, their awakening. I couldn't leave it out. **

**Personally, I think a chapter this extreme warrants some feedback. Bring pitchforks if you feel so inclined. Your silence burns worse than your flames so feel free to let me know if you disagreed with this. **


	15. Scar Tissue

**AN: So…we're still cool right? Is it safe for me to come out? Has the uprising ended? Lol. Personally, I liked writing the last chapter but hey, to each it's own. Just to remind you guys, this is not a dark Edward story. And I don't believe in unhappy endings so rest assured. It's all going to end well. **

**Thanks for your feedback.**

**Like, SM I need music to write so this one is inspired by:**

**Scar Tissue by the Red Hot Chile Peppers**

Scar tissue that I wish you saw  
Sarcastic mister know it all  
Close your eyes and I'll kiss you 'cause  
With the birds I'll share  
With the birds I'll share  
This lonely view  
With the birds I'll share  
This lonely view

Mr. Weber's POV

Cursing under my breath, I entered my house effortlessly as the door had already been forced open before me. Whoever the fucker was who'd broken into my house he better had been gone or else my nine millimeter was going to have to take full advantage of the "intruder on property" law.

The grabbed my gun from the kitchen drawer and began flicking on all the lights. The place seemed empty until I heard someone chuckle above me.

"Angela is that you." I called. But of course it wasn't her. Her fucking car wasn't even in the driveway.

Again another male laugh sounded.

_That fucking whore. _She was no better than her mother had been. Angela was obviously upstairs with some prick.

Surely enough when I climbed the stairs the laugh sounded from outside Angela's room.

I inhaled deeply and planned how I was going to go about it. First I was going to calmly storm in and ask whoever that fucker was to leave and then I was going to beat the living daylight out of that little whore.

_1…2…3_

When I opened the door a dangerous looking kid was sitting on Angela's bed alone. She was nowhere in sight.

_Maybe this is a break in._

I cocked the gun and aimed it at him. "Get the fuck out of my house." I rasped as dangerously as I could make my voice sound.

"Ah Mr. Weber, I'm glad you're finally home," the kid said calmly and almost arrogantly. "Put the gun down and let's have a little chat."

* * *

Bella

I didn't know how long I laid there crying but eventually I felt two little arms cradle me as I wept. Alice's tiny figure sat on the ground with me and cradled my head in her lap like a mother.

"Hush," she coed as she brushed my hair out of my face with her hand lovingly. "It's going to be alright Bella."

I continued to cry until I had nothing left. My tear ducts felt exhausted.

"Don't worry Bella. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." She assured me.

I couldn't help myself. A peeked up at her with the faintest smile forming on my desolate face.

She caught the expression and shook her head disapprovingly.

"I mean, unless you _want _it to happen to you, of course."

At that I busted into laughter. It was a mirthless laugh full of tears and sorrow.

"I bet you must think I'm crazy, huh?" I asked, knowing that she knew what had occurred.

She smiled fully, so much so that she did indeed look like a little pixie. "Oh Bella, I thought you were deranged the moment you called out a group of vampires in the middle of a crowded hallway."

She continued to shake her head disapprovingly at me as she half carried me to the passenger seat of my truck and proceeded to drive me home.

"You silly masochistic girl you" she muttered as she drove. Surprisingly the old truck did not protest. Alice must have had the magic touch with the thing.

I groaned and leaned my head back in exasperation and shame.

"So did it?" she asked quietly.

"Did it what?" I queried.

"Make you feel better."

"Yes and no," I answered truthfully. I would be lying to myself if I told her it didn't. Physically I felt worse, of course, but inside it was as if my emotional dam broke and I felt a rush of emotion. It was as if I'd picked open a healing scab.

"Care to elaborate," she asked.

I struggled unsuccessfully to find the words for how I was feeling.

"I-I don't know how to… It's like I felt numb before now I feel…raw…emotionally," I managed to choke out.

Alice muttered something about Edward reproachfully as I spoke.

"Bella, you need to start articulating how you feel. I'm worried that you may take a liking to hurting yourself, cutting even," she cautioned.

I nodded looking somewhat akin to a child being scolded only this was much more serious. But how could I open up about the way I felt when I wasn't even allowed to talk about it?

Whatever Jacob had become there was no way I could mention it to anyone. He hadn't asked for my silence but of course it was assumed. Just as I couldn't go telling Jake what Edward was just to make myself feel better.

And with Edward, Alice was the only person I could go to which was impossible. With a mind-reading Edward and their staying in the same house there was no way I could confide my feelings to her.

So there it was. I didn't so much choose silent emotional strangulation as much as it was my only choice.

But I knew I needed to try.

"You can always talk to me you know. About anything," She said pointedly. "Edward doesn't need to know everything that goes through my mind Bella. I have my ways."

For the rest of the ride we both remained silent except for my occasional sniffle.

"Okay," I muttered, more to myself than to her as she helped me out of the truck and handed me my keys. "I'll try."

Alice threw her arms around me a little rougher than she'd planned which caused me to wince in pain.

"Sorry Bella. This is good. We're getting somewhere," she said excitedly and I wondered when she'd turned into Dr. Phil all of a sudden.

"Hey by the way," I called as she turned to run. "Why were you acting so strange on the phone the other day?"

She laughed nervously which alerted me that she was about to lie. "Oh nothing. You just caught Jasper and I at a bad time. You know how that goes."

No, I didn't know and I wasn't sure I believed her but I had had a trying night and didn't want to push her. "Okay Alice and thank you, by the way."

That night I locked my window before I went to bed.

* * *

As the days turned into weeks without word from Jacob or Edward I resisted the urge to retreat within myself like I did last time. No, I would not go silently this time. I had my scars to remind me of the consequences. They reminded me of many things. The scars along with Alice kept me mindful against hording all my feelings. Alice constantly coaxed conversation out of me about how I was feeling. She had clearly spent too many years in an asylum for she had taken to becoming my 24-7 shrink.

But the most important thing they reminded me of was that all things heal in time.

Edward ignored me as he usually did and I did the same. But it was for different reasons. This time we just didn't know what to say to each other. We couldn't even meet each others' eyes. There was so much love and shame and horror between us.

Alice, I realized was hiding something from me, she and just about everyone. It didn't bother me. I was beginning to believe that it was everyone's job to keep things from me. Whatever it was, I knew it would reveal itself to me in time. I no longer was interested in playing detective. The last time I did, I didn't like what I found out.

Taking Alice's advice about speaking up I shuffled after Edward as the dismissal bell rang haphazardly. "Edward wait…er…"

My books tumbled to the ground from my hands and I didn't see Edward catch them. By the time my eyes adjusted to his speed he was standing in front of me returning my books to my outstretched hands.

"Yes?" he breathed. He looked as so self loathing my heart went out to him. I wanted to put him out of his misery.

"I wanted to talk to you about that night." I kept my voice noticeably low.

"Bye Bella." Angela called as she wrapped her hands around my waist briefly before flitting away to find Eric.

"See you, Angela," I called back. It was good to see her so happy again. Ever since our talk it seemed things had changed around her house. Her father never touched her. He didn't even look at her. It was as if he were afraid of her all of a sudden. And Angela was beginning to open up, even showing some interest in Eric.

When I turned my attention to Edward he was looking after her and Eric with a little self satisfied smirk on his face and realization dawned on me. He had said something that night about making sure no one hurt her and he obviously, someway made it happen.

My heart was already full of existing love for Edward Masen but it was overflowing now.

"Edward lets take a drive," I offered confidently.

He wore self loathing look again. "Are you sure it's safe." He asked.

"With you?"

"No, with that death hazard of yours" he said, referring to my truck.

Sarcastic as always. So this was what it was going to be. He was just going to stand there looking self loathing and joke away our troubles.

I sighed dejectedly and watched as the last student exited leaving just him and I in the hallway.

"I'm sorry," he whispered as the door closed behind the last student. "I'm sorry about that night and how I left you there Bella. You don't know how it's been killing me."

I shrugged and began rifling through my locker for nothing in particular. "It's not like I didn't ask for it."

"You weren't thinking clearly…"

"I wish you'd stop treating me like that." I interrupted him. "Like I don't know what I'm doing or like I can't handle things."

"Bella when I hit you that night something broke in me that I…"

"In me too." I interjected ardently as I shut the door and watched him lean against the adjacent locker. "Edward when you hit me something changed in me that I cannot explain."

He ran his through his tousled bronze hair and sighed. "What do we do Bella?" he asked almost hopelessly.

I shook my head because I wished I knew the answers. "I don't want to hurt anymore Edward." I said. My voice sounding wounded.

"I don't want to hurt you anymore Bella."

"Then don't."

After that night I felt like I had no inhibitions around Edward. I felt almost emboldened For what could I say or do that could be more incredulous than that night.

So I did the unthinkable which took even his quick reflexes by surprise.

I moved closer to him so that his back was fully against the locker and went up on my tip toes and pressed my lips firmly to his

His lips were different, they were smooth and soft yet firm like stone but the feeling was still pleasant as his lips moved gently against mine. My eyelids fluttered shut as he let me take over and I coaxed his lips open with my tongue lightly to deepen the kiss, tasting his cool venom in my mouth as our tongues danced.

"Where did that come from?" he asked as I pulled away to breathe. I was elated to note that his eyes had been closed as well.

I shrugged. Did a girl really need a reason to randomly kiss the love her life? "I love you so I kiss you." I stated matter-of-factly.

His beautiful face twisted in shock and disapproval. "You love me still? Even after everything I've put you through."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at him. "Edward I'll never stop loving you or wanting to be with you. The sooner you get that the better."

With that I gathered my things and began to walk down the lonely hallway.

"About that ride…" I heard him call from behind me.

"Another time," I said without masking the impish smile forming on my face as I turned away from him. "After all I wouldn't want you riding around in my death-trap would I?"

He knew me enough to know that I never took a liking to the sarcastic ass side of his otherwise wonderful personality. Obviously there would be consequences. I left through the doors without another word.

As the frosty wind blew I drew my coat tightly around me and trudged onward to my truck. Winter had begun.

* * *

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	16. Bloody Holiday

**AN: Thanks for reviewing guys and encouraging this story. You guys are awesome! I'd like to just wish you guys a Merry belated Christmas and an early Happy New Year!**

Song: Full Moon- Twilight Soundtrack

When the thorn bush turns white that's when I'll come home  
I am going out to see what I can sow  
And I don't know where I'll go  
And I don't know what I'll see  
But I'll try not to bring it back home with me

Christmas

It was always around the holidays when James felt appallingly dissatisfied. It wasn't what most humans felt; that nagging loneliness and pining for warm home with a tree waiting for them.

No it was the hunt that was becoming increasingly disappointing. Humans just weren't any fun to kill around Christmas. They were so full of trust and "holiday cheer" to be any fun to toy with.

In fact, the man and his wife that he'd so carefully tracked and hunted for he and Victoria ended up being a roaring disappointment. Until the last scream the man and wife didn't even know enough to fear them. They even went so far as to ask if they were angels.

James scoffed at the mere remembrance as he rifled through their pockets for anything of use.

The entire ordeal left a bad taste in his mouth. What good was it to go through all that trouble tracking them if they weren't even going to provide any entertainment? And they were all the same around this time. It didn't matter how menacing he looked when he fed he always got the, "Oh look at the pretty angels," or the "merry Christmas to you good sir" crap. It was disgusting.

At least they were useful for something. The man had a wallet full of cards and holiday cash and Victoria, who was scouring the woman's purse, tossed him a set of car keys and a cell phone.

"Go find the car, babe," he grunted authoritatively to Victoria and she nodded and went off without another word. She knew him long enough not to upset him after an unsavory hunt.

James looked down at his newly acquired objects. The cell phone was useless to him so chucked it away. After all, it wasn't like he had anyone to call. Any calls he might have made would have been traced by the police anyway.

As he sulked a notion hit him and he followed it. Still grumbling, James gathered the man's change and trudged over to a nearby pay phone and dialed the number he had ingrained in his brain.

The phone was answered on the first ring and immediately he was assaulted by the sound of cheerful Christmas songs.

"Ah fuck me in the-"

"I already asked you for that loverboy but your mate got in the way," Tanya's voice purred on the other line.

He groaned. If there was one thing he hated it was a beautiful vampire trying to play human.

"Whatever Tanya and what the fuck. Is that seriously Christmas music I hear blaring over there?"

He wondered to himself how Laurent could stand living with those deranged vamps.

"Yes it is and a Merry-"

"Shut the fuck up," he interrupted her. If he heard anyone else wish him good tidings he was going to go on a rampage, Volturi be damned.

"Oo I love it when you talk dirty to me James. So for what do I owe the pleasure?" She asked.

"Put Laurent on please," he grounded out through very clenched teeth. The beautiful vampire was grating on his already fragile nerves.

He could practically hear her smile. "He's very much engaged right now. Him and my two sisters actually. In fact I'm about to join them."

"That lucky bastard…" James muttered more to himself that to Tanya.

Tanya chuckled seductively, "Mmm it's not too late to ditch the red head and join the brothel," she offered lightly.

James rolled his eyes but remained silent. Victoria was more of a woman than all three of those succubae combined. Besides, there was nothing sexier than a red eyed woman who loved the hunt.

"First Edward now you. I must be loosing my touch," she muttered to herself. "Anyway I'll be glad to interrupt Laurent for you if you wa-"

"Don't worry about it Tanya, I'll catch him some other time," he interrupted.

He heard her shoulders shrug and she mumbled, "Suit yourself then. It's always good hearing from you. Merry-"

He had already slammed the phone down before she could finish her sentence.

James mulled over how Laurent could live like that. He wondered how it was that he didn't miss his nomadic lifestyle. Sure living in a household of seductresses must be exiting but staying with them for more than a week seemed ridiculous. Although Laurent had not adopted their diet it was only a matter of time before their insanity spread to him. Pretty soon he was going to think he was human too.

But no matter how much their lifestyle revolted him he has to admit, he was a bit enthralled by it all.

Immediately his mind to went to the Cullens and he was curious as to just how well that Jasper was holding up. Jasper was like him; a killer by nature and he had recognized that about him immediately.

A visit to the Cullens seemed perhaps a perfect cure to his boredom and dissatisfaction.

* * *

Edward

1 Week Earlier

I don't know how long I stared after her with my mouth hanging partly open like a buffoon but eventually Emmett broke my trance with his usual too loud voice.

"Hey man, you coming or what. We still have to Christ-ma-fy your house today." He called as his burly figure busted through the exit doors.

"Uh huh," I answered lamely.

I could still taste Bella on my lips and I had forgotten how amazing she tasted and how wonderfully soft her lips were. Her kiss had been so unexpected that I didn't even have time to build up my defenses and stop it. I knew that I shouldn't have allowed it. My diamond-sharp, venom coated teeth were too dangerous to be so close her. But then again once I felt her against me I was powerless to stop it. I simply didn't want to.

"What was that for?" I chastised myself over and over for asking her that. But then her simple reply turned my world on its head. She still loved me. Even though I am a monster who'd hurt her repeatedly. Even though she secretly feared me and slept with her window locked at night.

That action had hurt the most. I didn't even know she was aware of the fact that I watched her sleep every night but the act told me that she didn't wasn't me anywhere near her.

That night, after I went to Angela's house I felt so hopeless that I shut everyone and everything out. I didn't hunt, I refused to speak or even move from a certain spot in my room for several days, which was considerably easy for a vampire and no torture at all.

The only small consolation was that I'd managed to not screw _something _up. Angela's life seemed to have improved considerably since her father and I had that little heart to heart.

But Bella couldn't even meet my eyes and I couldn't blame her. Had she somehow known that when I hit her it unleashed the monster in me? That I almost…reveled in it?

Sickening. Perverted. Monster.

I drooped my shoulders as I trailed Emmett out to his jeep.

When we boarded the jeep Emmett, ever the vocal one, took one look at my hopeless appearance and announced, "God, Eddie you really need get some and lighten up a little."

_Jasper- Not this again…_

_My thoughts exactly._

_Rosalie- Psh. Like that would help anyway. He's totally in the closet. _

_Alice- I can't wait to decorate Edward's house. Ooo his mother's going to love the tree ornaments I just got. Oh maybe some…_

I made a pained sound and gazed up to the heavens as if praying for intervention as Emmett drove onward.

_Alice- Hmm it's too bad Bella has to spend Christmas alone because Chief Swan is working. Maybe I should invite her to spend it with us while Edward's with his mother. Hmm... But I don't know if she'll be safe around Jasper and all those paper-cutting gifts I got her…_

"What," I demanded as my head jerked in her direction at her thoughts.

"Edward could you _try _to stay out of people's minds," she quipped as if she weren't purposely sending me her thoughts. I'd had a lot of moments of obtuseness in my life but this wasn't one of them.

So she clearly thought that I should invite Bella over for Christmas. Why, I didn't know. Clearly to make my life even more of the living hell it was.

But then again her presence could be useful. She could help create a sense of normalcy around my mother and diffuse any fear or suspicion that might arise. Moreover her potent blood would overpower my senses too much for me to be tempted by my own mother's.

And of course the thought of spending Christmas with the love of my life seemed a whole lot better than spending it agonizing about my own hell-damned soul.

"So I should invite Bella to Christmas with me then?" I asked aloud, forgetting the fact that the rest of the Cullen's were out of the loop of our mental conversation until they gazed at me as if I'd lost my mind.

Alice smiled innocently and said, "Why that's a great idea Edward."

* * *

Bella

Did I say that I'd given up snooping?

It had been almost a month since the last time I'd seen or heard from Jacob and the last I heard he was roaming with a group of suspiciously brawny Quilletes.

Now I knew I had no right to snoop but he was refusing my calls and I had to know what was going on. If he was a vampire I had to tell him that it was alright to tell me. That I knew all about it. Maybe even lead him to Carlisle for help.

One thing I did know was that it would do him no good to ignore what he had become.

So that's why I was trailing him. Not to feed my curiosity but to help. Or so I told myself.

_So how is this going to end this time? I'll just find something else I don't want to know. _

That's what I kept telling myself as I pressed my back against an obscuring tree trunk and turned my head to peak at the scene behind me.

I had to clamp my hand firmly over my mouth to keep from shrieking as I snapped backwards until the back of my head was pressed against the tree trunk.

This couldn't be. I had clearly seen a small group of Native American boys, including Jacob standing in a circle seconds ago. Now my eyes must have deceived me because when I peeked again there was a circle of strange horse-like beasts standing almost intelligently around the largest of them. These were no animals.

Taking shallow breaths, I mustered enough courage to take another look t verify what I thought I'd seen. But when I peaked again the clearing was empty.

_I've officially gone insane._

Something like a snarl sounded in front of me and I froze. Almost fearing what I'd see, I slowly turned my head to look at what was indeed snarling in front of me to find the very same hairy creatures glaring at me menacingly.

Without thinking I screamed as loud as my lungs would allow.

"Edward! Jacob! Someone!"

But my seamed only seemed to anger the beasts who began almost trembling.

I closed my eyes and accepted for the umpteenth time, my impending death.

As my eyes closed, smooth arms suddenly caught me before my knees could give out and the voice of Jacob snarled, "Don't you dare call for that bloodsucker, Bella"

* * *

**Oh "eyes candy" galore in this chap! I'm sorry. I just couldn't leave James and his abs out of this. **

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	17. Plug it in

Just a shameless plug.

I just wanted to put it out there that I am now a beta. Clearly I suck at grammar and spelling so not that kind of beta.

Basically I've decided to lend my superior knowledge of all things history related to any of you writers. My strengths are the Roman Empire, 18-19th century Britain, French revolution era France and all things medieval through the renaissance period.

I'm fairly good at the World war period in America but that's only from a cultural perspective. For example popular slangs, cars, clothing, social changes, etc.

Basically I'm a really good pop culture historian so if you're writing an era fanfic and you'd like to accurately describe a ball, attire, hair, music, or know how to properly address/refer to aristocrats I'm your girl. Or if you're doing one of those peasant Bella falls for blue blood, Edward fics, I can lend you some incite into the social conventions of the time.

I'll try to work with you to re-create the era in your fics by:  
1. Getting into the social conventions of the time. Great for romances with incite into things like: sex, marriage, view of women, laws, attire, etc.  
2. Relevant fact; wars, famines, major events in history, revolutions, social upheavals in the particular era you're writing on.  
3. Just helping you with the small facts from anything from carriages to hairstyles.  
4. Royalty- I can definitely help you if you're writing about aristocrats and you need to know titles, how they're addressed, how they live, what they do, hierarchy, etc.

Anyway why toil away on Wikipedia for false answers when you can let me do all the work and concentrate on your creativity.

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Inspired, anyone?

End ad.

Lol.

I'm so updating this week, I swear. Saturday night at the latest.


	18. Damsel in Distress

**AN: Sorry guys for the delay. I decided to make this one extra long. **

**Also I'll update again in a day or two so stay tuned.**

**Don't forget to review! You know how I love me some reviews. Hehe. **

* * *

Edward:

_How we ball in the club, I know you hate it_

_Mammy dancing on the floor, all like she naked_

_When she lay down with you I know she fake it_

_All the girls give it to me I aint gotta take it_

_Ooooooh We pop champagne_

If I had any blood I would have bled from my ears. _This _was why I never drove with Emmett.

We were heading out of town, back to Carlisle's, from hours of making my house seem like someone actually lived there. Alice insisted I put up decorations, which took us all forever to dig them out from the attic while she barked orders.

The girl was like a little Nazi.

_I wanna see you dance. See you dance._

"For the love of God, Emmett, please turn that crap off," I finally exploded.

"Don't tell me you don't listen to hip hop Eddie?"

"Edward. _Ed-ward_," I corrected tensely.

"Yep, definitely needs to get laid," he said with a little wink to Rosalie next to him.

_Ugh. What's that smell? _A scent more sickening hot sewage suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks as we whipped past the forest.

_Emmett- Looks like the wolves are out. _

At my confused look he explained, "Werewolves, come on Eddie try to keep up."

"Werewolves, like actual werewolves," I exclaimed but then a distant, hazy memory suddenly came back.

I remembered sitting on a black pebbled beach on the Indian reservation with Bella and her friends while Jacob and his friends told us some bogus story about how they were descendants from wolves and some treaty with the cold on…

_Shit. _

"The Quileutes?" I asked, disbelieving.

"Yep," Rosalie answered with disinterest.

_Jasper: Mmmm human…_

_Bella._

I didn't need to say anything. Emmett had already rammed his breaks and whipped the car into reverse towards the forest.

Bella

Jacob's large hands were still clamped tightly on my mouth to keep me from screaming and he felt scalding. My eyes widened as I looked up at him and began hyperventilating against his meaty hand.

He was naked as the day he was born.

They were all naked.

What the hell had I stumbled unto?

As if sensing my stare, Jacob cleared his throat self consciously and moved his hand from my mouth to cover my eyes.

"W-why are you all naked?" I sputtered immediately after his hand left my mouth. Clearly their nudity had been the least of my problems.

_Great. Why don't I ask them why they were just wolves two seconds ago?_

"Bella turn around and don't scream or run cause if you do I'll catch you and be very angry," he seethed between gritted teeth as if he were keeping his temper in check.

"U-um…o-ok." I did as told but seriously, who did he think he was, the Hulk?

When I turned back around to face them they were all wearing an array of outworn shorts, ripped tank tops, and barefoot. Jacob wore a pair of drawstring pants and nothing more which gave me amble view of his newly acquired bulky figure and sculpted eight pack.

My face turned positively scarlet at the sight of my hulk like friend. I wasn't used to seeing him that way.

Jacob, as if sensing my scrutiny shifted his weight self consciously and said, "Look, Bella we need to talk about what you thought you saw…"

"What to you mean? I am _not _crazy Jacob Black," I interrupted. "I think I know what I saw back there."

Immediately Jake started trembling and I took a cautionary step backwards. "Do you have a death wish or something Bella? It's bad enough that you're hanging around with that blood sucker…"

"Jacob, stop," a tall older man commanded and Jake surprisingly didn't argue. He stopped mid-sentence and didn't speak again.

Blood sucker…?

A distant memory of the fist time Edward met Jake suddenly came back to me. We were all sitting on the beach and Jake told us a Quileute fable about wolves and how their descendant protected people from the "cold ones".

He was a werewolf.

And he knew.

Jake. I looked up at him pleadingly as if praying for understanding but only hurt and hatred greeted me.

_He hates Edward_.

_He hates me. _

"Before any of you goes into a lecture about how I'm putting my life in danger for a "blood sucker" just understand this. He didn't choose to be what he is and he isn't like the vampires in your stories. None of them are," I stated boldly to the tall one who had silenced him because Jake wouldn't meet my gaze.

The tall one just gave me a condescending look as if I didn't know what I was saying, kind of like the look a doctor gives to a rambling psycho patient and Jake scoffed.

"You're wrong Bells. They're all just heartless killers and I'm afraid if you hang with them long enough you'll find out that for yourself," Jake growled.

I looked up at him in horror. Who was this person, so full of hate that had replaced my loving open minded best friend? It was as if he'd joined some cult. As if he'd joined the KKK and was raving about Blacks. I couldn't stand to hear him uttering ignorant words of hate towards the people who had shown nothing but kindness and understanding towards me. It sickened me.

This was not my Jacob standing in front of me.

I sighed. My friend was lost.

"W-what are you going to do?" I asked to the tall one, their leader.

Still giving me that condescending look, he answered, "Unlike you're _friends, _we're not killers. We're not going to hurt you because of what you know. You _will _keep your mouth shut."

_I wanna see you dance. See you dance. _

The sound of loud rap blaring from the road interrupted out stare down. The boys tensed and looked at their leader, who was now trembling.

"Speak of the devils," he spat.

The sound disappeared for a second then got louder.

They were coming back.

"Let's go," he commanded.

"I'm not running from a blood-" Jake protested.

"_Now _Jacob, before someone gets hurt. We're on their land, remember."

And then they were gone. Their heat, their torn clothing, and their hatred were all that lingered.

Then I was the one trembling, violently. Not with anger but with bitter tears for what had become of my friend.

Through my gut wrenching tears I could see Edward approaching me through the trees and Emmett and Jasper running lithely behind him.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked as he crouched down to me. "Did they hurt you?"

Behind him Emmett and Jasper looked around disappointedly as if they were gearing up for a fight.

They were going to fight.

For me.

They cared. Even Jasper.

"N-no. They didn't. They weren't going to harm me," I managed to utter.

Emmett and Jasper visibly relaxed and stalked towards Edward and I.

A sudden feeling of acceptance and family pervaded me.

"Why are you so happy?" Jasper demanded but kept his distance, his confusion suddenly spreading to me. "Do you like being to damsel in distress?" he asked with genuine interest.

_Oh please. _I rolled my eyes at the dangerous vampire and brushed the dirt off my pants. "Hardly. I'm just shocked that you guys care is all."

Emmett looked at me as if I'd lost my mind and shouted, "of course we care. You're Edward's human."

_Edward's human? _I kind of liked it.

Beside me Edward groaned and put his head in his hand.

"Bella," Edward started in a scolding tone that shifted mid sentence to exasperation. "What are you doing out here in the woods, alone. Is this you're new spot to look for trouble in?"

Again, I rolled my eyes. "I wasn't _looking _for trouble I was… spying on Jacob…because I suspected something was wrong…" _Ok clearly I WAS looking for trouble._

"So you were looking for trouble," Edward stated matter-of-factly, a slightly amused half grin on his face.

I sighed in concession. "Guilty as charged."

Behind him Emmet and Jasper chuckled and said something along the lines of, "No wonder he's so stressed out."

He just shook his head wearily then called, "Guys, you can go back to the girls without me. I'll take her home."

_Oh great, thanks for asking._

I remained silent as Edward followed me back to my truck and proceeded to drive me towards my house, muttering all the while about how I attracted danger.

I watched Edward, half mesmerized, half maddened, as he frenetically raked his hands through his tousled hair and clenched and unclenched his jaw. He was anxious about something and it nothing to do with Jacob Black or werewolves.

"What are you thinking?" I asked. That was his line, I knew.

Then he growled a low frustrated sound that made me jump.

"I'm thinking that you're making it impossible to stay away from you," he mumbled.

"Then don't," I whispered so low I wondered if he could hear.

"I can't anymore," he whimpered back and my heart soared. "Since it seems if I leave you alone for more than two seconds the wolves descend."

My heart fell right back to the floor.

_Articulate. I must articulate how I'm feeling. _

"Why do you always do that?" I asked, trying Alice's method of vocalizing my feelings yet again, "just get my hopes up like that. Fist you tell me to stay away from you, now you can't because what? You feel _obligated _to babysit me? Is that it? Am I the only one who'd hurting because we can't be together? Do you miss me at all?"

_Wow when it rains it pours. _I couldn't believe I'd finally said those words out loud.

He was silent for a while and we drove in silence. Him staring intently at the road and me gazing out the passenger window.

"You're not the only one," I thought I heard him mutter and I turned around to look at him.

"Huh?"

"I said I miss you too, damn it," he nearly shouted. "How can you think you're the only one who feels that way? It drives me crazy not being with you. Do you know that you're the only person I have a memory of? Just you. The only things I do remember are in relation to you. You're my world Bella and it's killing me that I can't be with you."

My mouth opened and closed as there were no words for his confession.

I was his world.

He missed me.

He continued, "It's like there's an invisible cord drawing me to you, Bella. No matter where you are it's like I hear your heartbeat and it calls to me. No matter how hard I tell myself to stay away I cant. I watch you sleep I…"

_Aha. That confirms it. _

"How often?" I interrupted.

"Just for the past few months, it's getting harder since you started locking you window," he stated unrepentantly.

"Oh…I bet I'm not that fun to stalk," I joked dryly.

"You're dreams are pretty interesting," he said disinterestedly.

My cheeks warmed considerably remembering the first time I thought Edward was in my room. I was having a pretty X-rated dream of him. Hopefully I wasn't a vocal dreamer.

"W-what do I dream about?"

He sighed wearily and answered, "Mostly me, your mother and Arizona. Things like that"

I was vocal.

"Do I… you know…?"

He nodded.

"Oh," I said lamely. "Sorry?" Why I felt the need to apologize to the boy stalking me for dreaming about him, I don't know.

Edward chuckled and shook his head disapprovingly. "Bella. Bella. Bella. What am I to do with you…?"

I had a few ideas.

"So you miss me?" he nodded tensely. "and you cant stay away from me?"

Again he nodded and added, "You're not making it any easier, with the werewolves, the impromptu request for beatings…"

"That was _one _time," I interrupted. "Gosh, ask someone to hit you and all of a sudden you're some masochist."

Edward pretended he didn't hear me and continued. "And that kiss…

I shrugged. "I didn't hear you complaining."

"I could kill you Bella. Why won't you grasp that?"

"Because you have yet to show me that. You're with me, alone, a lot, you watch me sleep when I'm defenseless, and still, no bite marks. If you can have so much control why insist on staying away?" I asked frustratedly. I couldn't understand why he thought he was so dangerous to me when he would never try to hurt me.

"But I want to," he shouted and I stilled. "Every second I'm with you, even when I'm not. It's all I can think of. Even now, I want your blood so bad I can taste it. I imagine…fantasize even, about killing you and I hate myself for it. I don't want to have to think like that about the one person I love."

It finally hit me and I truly understood. How horrible it must make him feel to think like such a monster. I brought that out in him. If I were him, I'd stay away from me too. But still, he was still Edward. Bloodlust couldn't have been all he felt for me.

"And when I kissed you?" I whispered meekly. "Was that all you felt then?"

"No," he sighed, "I was thinking of…I was not thinking of your blood. Lets just leave it at that."

"So let me get this straight," I reasoned. "You want me and I want you, but you can't stop thinking about my blood. And now you need to be with me for my own "safety"."

He hesitated as if he didn't know where I was going with this.

"But when we kiss, you are _not _thinking about my blood, correct?"

He nodded. "No, not your blood."

"Well then it seems as if the obvious solution to your "need" to be around me and bloodlust is through amorous acts which take your mind off my blood," I stated matter-of-factly.

If anyone deserved an A for effort it was me.

As desired, his tense mood seemed to be lifted and that lopsided smile I loved so much resurfaced.

"Bella you need to be studied," he said jokingly as he shook his head disapprovingly.

Probably, but hey, it seemed like perfect logic to me.

As we pulled into my driveway I began to feel that anxiety that crept up every time I was away from him. But at least I knew he felt it too and that he would not be far away.

"Bella?" His voice drew me out of my thoughts. "Do you…um have plans for…for Christmas?'

_What? _

"What_- _no. Why?" I seriously couldn't understand where he was possible headed.

"Want to spend it with me?" he asked then added hastily, "I mean, do you mind pretending to be my girlfriend for a couple hours with my mother?"

My brain completely breezed past the pretending for his mother part and went straight to the good part. He wanted to spend Christmas with me. That was huge, even for couples. Christmas. With Edward. Edward with Christmas. I couldn't even articulate words for the overwhelming joy that I felt. Of course I'd spend Christmas with him, even if he was using me to play human.

"Of course," I squealed. "I mean, yeah, Charlie's working so it's fine."

We remained silent for a moment longer, neither of us moving to get out of the truck.

"Are you okay, I mean with Jacob and everything?" Edward suddenly asked. "I know all this must be tough on you."

I snorted tersely. "Yeah my best friend is now a hate mongering werewolf, my boyfriend's a self loathing vampire, what's next? Is Angela going to be the ghost of Christmas past?" I muttered wryly.

Edward looked tense and I could tell he was uncomfortable with what he was about to say. "Well Bella," he said as he raked his hands though his hair, "I know I can't be there for you like I want to but if you ever need anything… I just…I don't like the fact that you have to handle these things alone."

Smiled at him to show that I was alright. "I'm not alone, Edward I have Alice and I'm… handling things a lot better."

"Good," he said several times. "Bella, I have to hunt. I'll be around." He said before handing me my keys and getting out of the truck. I followed suite and he hesitated for a moment before running off.

"Edward," I called before he turned to leave. "I'll leave my window unlocked."

He nodded with understanding and disappeared.

Fast forward several hours, a shower, and a Shakespearian-esc soliloquy later I was sitting in bed, windows unlocked browsing absentmindedly online when I heard someone clear their throat.

Gasping in shock, I looked up to find Edward Masen leaning against my wall, arms crossed, and staring at me expectantly. I never even heard my window open.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. I was under the impression that he only came to my room when I was asleep.

"If by here you mean the neighborhood, I was making sure none of your mutt friends came by and by your room, I'm just torturing myself with your presence, the usual."

I closed the laptop and slid it off my bed which brought both our attentions to my state of dress. I was wearing a large ratty T-shirt and a pair of boy short panties. Most importantly, no pants.

From the edgy look of Edward's face I could tell he was not thinking of my blood and yet again he did still look like he wanted to attack me.

"Bella stay very still," he commanded and I complied hesitantly as he stalked over to my bed and sat on the edge facing me. I ceased breathing as he brought his hand to my cheek and leaned closer to me.

Was he going to bite me or kiss me? _God, I hope it's the latter._

He scared me for a moment when his lips ghosted over my neck then finally up to lips where he finally settled on kissing me instead of killing me.

His lips were cool as they pressed against mine and moved slowly yet urgently as he tried to maintain control.

I tried my very best to remain still for him but as his amazing lips caressed mine I couldn't stop my mouth from responding or my hands from wrapping around him. As our lips danced I felt a sense of urgency building in me and I needed more. I deepened the kiss and he allowed it, answering me with a delicious sounding groan then hastily moving atop of me.

Suddenly my back was pressed against the mattress with Edward managing to keep the bulk of his weight from crushing me as he devoured my lips. His hands began to urgently roam up and down my shirt, which elicited gasps of pleasure from me and I knew we were in some sort of a frenzy, Neither one of us wanted it to end.

But then without thinking I tuned my head, allowing his lips to slip and lowered his mouth to caress my neck, my hands urging him on as they fisted his hair. He stopped instantly and backed completely off of the bed leaving me completely confused and feeling bereft.

I wanted him to try again but I knew he wouldn't.

"I'm sorry but this needs to stop. There can be no right end to this?"

My mind was still a little hazy from the kiss and I didn't understand what he was saying. What did he mean end? Did he mean he could never have what he desired; my blood?

"I-I'm sorry," I managed. "I didn't mean to taunt you like that I just thought you… you wouldn't think of my blood but…"

"I wasn't talking about your blood," he stated flatly.

"Then what do you mean?"

"I. Want. You. Badly," he grounded out through clenched teeth.

_Wha-? _My feeble human brain struggled to grasp the concept that this perfect creature could desire me a small fraction of how much I wanted him. When he was human it barely made sense then.

But he said badly. He wanted me badly. Like a man wants a woman. I wasn't just tempting food to him but I was Bella, a girl or woman since I was eighteen.

I didn't even know that was possible for a vampire to see a human that way. It was like we were both dating again and he was still the hormone riddled teenager trying to remain gentlemanly.

He wanted me. I wanted to hear it again.

"Really?" I finally managed to ask. "Just now or…?"

"No," he interrupted. "It's quite irregular for a vampire but I do want you frequently; in class, when you kissed me earlier, that night in the woods, I wanted you then."

I could tell that this Edward's way of warding me off. He wanted me to be disgusted or find some sort of offence to what he was saying but I couldn't.

"But I want you _too_. Why cant we?"

"Many reasons," he answered detachedly. "The most obvious being I'd kill you, for your blood or with my strength alone."

_Oh. _My heart sank even lower than the floor.

"The other being I would never take that from you Bella. Even if somehow I didn't kill you I'd have to live with the fact that I'd taken something from you no longer meant for me."

I started to protest but he silenced me.

"You and I have no future Bella. You'll graduate, leave this place, meet someone else, and marry him. You'll live a full happy life that doesn't involve me."

No I could never be with anyone else. I didn't want to meet anyone else, I wanted Edward, the boy I fell in love with.

Edward's face darkened as if the weight of his words were fully settling in him for the first time. "Bella," he sighed, "I think I've done enough damage for one day. I'll see you soon."

He was leaving and panic settled in once again.

"Wait," I called as he opened my window letting frosty air in, "Don't you still have to protect me from the wolves and what not." It was shamelessly low because I knew Jacob wouldn't harm me but I didn't want him to go.

"I wont be to far off. Go to sleep and lock your window tonight."

"Wait," I called rushing to my open window that he'd disappeared out of and gazing out into the darkness. "Am I still your girlfriend on Christmas?"

A chuckle answered me from the darkness. "_Yes, _Bella now lock your window and goodnight."

I closed the window without locking it and plopped down on my lonely bed dejectedly. And yet I was already re-gathering my thoughts and trying to figure out a solution to our situation. Clearly the only solution was if Edward weren't a vampire, which was impossible. But if I were to become like him it seemed as if the playing field would be leveled and we could once again be what we were.

But I knew Edward would never change me. He was like Louise (Interview with the Vampire). He truly believed he was the most damned creature on earth but I didn't. And I also knew that if I was to get hurt and it came down to him changing me or letting me die he would honestly let me die.

I felt frustrated Sometimes Edward was too moral for his own good.

I was clearly only thinking in the abstract of course. I valued my life and my family and I knew that the choice to become a vampire wasn't something one just rushed into blindly.

Using a remedial method I learned in grade school I took out a pen and paper and began to jot down the pros and cons of becoming the undead with Edward, clearly outweighing the cons.

I didn't know where we stood. Right then, I was neither his friend nor his lover.

I was his human, which surprisingly enough felt good. I liked the feeling of being his anything. And as far as I was concerned he was my vampire- my own personal bodyguard slash constant source of agony and desire.

* * *

**AN: I'm updating super soon I swear. Oo and did anyone see Taylor's interview for Access Hollywood? Damnz he's ripped. And I'm SO glad he got the part for New Moon. He needs to hurry up and turn 18 so I (22) can start writing about how hot he is without sounding like a deviant. Lol. **

**AN: Stay tuned and just so you know the story ends in Spring. **


	19. Laughing all the way

**AN: Yeah, I know. Christmas was **_**so **_**last month. Sorry I didn't update days ago like I said I would. I meant to end this chapter halfway but just couldn't stop writing. **

**Review guys. **

**Inspired by: Mamma Who Bore Me from Spring Awakening. **

**Crazy by Seal/ or that cover by Alanis Morissette**

* * *

_Mamma who bore me. Mamma who gave me_

_no way to handle things. Who made me so bad…_

_Mamma the weeping, mamma the angel_

_No sleep in heaven_

_Or Bethlehem._

Throughout my months as a vampire I had never given much thought to my mother. The concept of a mother and father somehow felt foreign to me. I knew I had to come from somewhere but the concept was difficult for my vampire mind to grasp.

I didn't feel like I was somebody's son. Actually, I felt more like Kate's illegitimate son than anything. Though she was only my sire, deep down, I felt like her mistake, her bastard, some fatherless child burdening the Cullen family.

Not that I craved any sort of connection with the blond. I didn't crave that kind of connection with anyone, not even Esme who was a mother figure if there ever was one.

But there I was driving my doting yet ridiculously flippant mother home while she toyed with my hair, making comments on how long I'd let it grow. All the while I forced a non feral smile on my face and avoided inhaling her scent.

"Wow, Edward since when did you start driving like such a maniac," she scorned lightly at my fast driving. "I hope you don't think you're above the law just because you're dating the police chief's daughter."

I couldn't help but to chuckle as I focused on the road.

It was Christmas Eve when I'd picked my mother up from the airport and took her to our, overly decorated home. As I monitored her thoughts I realized that she didn't suspect anything wrong. A lot of that had to do, of course, with the fact that I was wearing annoyingly uncomfortable green contact lenses.

I'd invited Bella over as well as I'd assumed my mother would find something about me disconcerting. If she had, the sight of Bella in her house diffused it all and her mind soon filled with scenarios of our wedding and what her future grandchildren would look like.

I grimaced and clenched my hands into fists as I watched those thoughts play out in her mind. Thankfully Bella was there to lighten the mood as we fell into our normal pre-vampire habits with one another.

With Bella there in my house it was so easy to forget that everything that was so good between us was now so bad. It was as if someone had stopped time for us and given us a change to go back to better times.

On Christmas day, I picked her up from her house early as I'd assured my mother that Bella and I would do all the cooking. Though the smell of human food struck me as foul, being in the kitchen and watching Bella toil was amusing, and reminiscent of the times I would often playfully fight her just to get a taste of what she was making.

But those days were over. Instead I held my breath and watched in horror as she prepared and maneuvered around the kitchen with countless sharp objects, not knowing if she would cut herself and be the cause of both our deaths. Mine, because the day I killed her would be the day I sought to end my own life.

But the tense mood soon turned playful as I gave up on watching and scooted her aside to take over anything involving a knife while she instructed me on what to do. "Good job," she praised, "who knew it would take a vampire bite for you to become such a culinary genius."

"Oh, don't go there," I warned teasingly.

"What are you going to do about it?" she teased and began inching out of the kitchen.

The sound of my knife hitting the counter clamored a second before Bella dashed out of the kitchen with me playfully darting after her.

"Merry Christmas Charles, I can't wait to see you too," my mother was saying to the phone as we raced past the living room, laughing all the way until Bella halted suddenly in the foyer, smiling victoriously.

"What are you smiling about," I asked as I stalked towards her predatorily, stopping just centimeters from touching her.

Then I looked upwards to find that we were standing under a mistletoe, which I should have known was there, since Alice had insisted that I put it there.

_That little minx. _

"It _is _tradition." She stood there, smelling unbelievably delicious with her eyes flitting back and forth between me and the mistletoe.

"Well I'm not going to be the one to spoil Christmas tradition," I chided as I leaned in and brushed my lips lightly against hers. I meant for it to be brief but she responded by capturing my lips fully and I was lost in the heaven of her lips.

"Merry Christmas to you to," I breathed as our lips parted.

Bella grinned wickedly and said, "it is now."

X

Later that night I sat, in utter fascination and awe at Bella's lying skills as she artfully danced around pointed questions about our "relationship" and supplied contrived answers off the top of her head without even needing to confirm it with me.

Apparently we had been, being completely responsible teenagers who watched movies, did our homework and applied for colleges. I just sat back and went along with whatever she was saying.

"Are you two being safe," my mother suddenly asked and Bella began choking on her food.

"Eliz- mother," I scolded like a parent to a child. I suddenly felt much older than the vibrant alive woman in front of me.

_Very much alive_. I found myself tuning her out and concentrating on the movements on her neck as she swallowed her wine.

Of course I would have bloodlust for my own mother. Of course.

There is was; the cherry topping on the ice cream Sunday of hell that was my life.

I thirsted for my own mother.

It was Dracula meets Portnoy's complaint all over again, like I had some sort of sick vampire oedipal complex.

What kind of deviant vampire was I?

Unfortunately, Elizabeth just kept prattling on without noticing my unwavering stare at her jugular. Tormented, I turned to Bella, who was partially distorted by the prisms of my green contact lenses, for help.

Bella made a coughing sound which jolted me back to reality. "I'm going to go get the dessert, mind coming with me?" she pleaded and it took me a moment to realize that she was helping me out.

Elizabeth grinned in satisfaction to herself as I rose to trail Bella to the kitchen, all the while thinking that we were trying to sneak away to make out. _I wish…_

"Is she buying any of this?" Bella whispered as soon as we were alone in the kitchen. Her sweet scent overshadowed the smells of food.

A little hazily I nodded. "Surprisingly yes, every word. Not very keen, that one."

"Hey that's your mom you're talking about," She scolded. "She gave birth to you, you know."

And oh how I needed the reminder. It was becoming increasingly difficult to think of myself as someone's child, something once pure and innocent instead of the heartless demon I am now.

"Well I guess we should head back now." Bella began to gather some dessert plates on the counter.

Seeing her so carefree in the kitchen brought back countless memories of better times between us. Finding myself in an uncommonly cheeky mood, I, using my stealth, came up behind her and dipped low to whisper.

"She'll be expecting you to be flustered."

Bella gasped and whipped around to find her back pressed firmly against the counter and my looming figure blocking her. Her face crimsoned considerably and she arched one eyebrow.

"Well…if it's for our cover I suppose we must…" she trailed off suggestively while suppressing a chuckle.

"And so we shall," I breathed before locking our lips briefly at first and then rougher as I lost myself in the warmth and softness of her mouth.

When we did return with the dessert it was ten minutes later and Bella did, in fact, look very flustered while I looked a mixture of uncomfortably frustrated and blithely smug.

"I thought I was going to have to wait until New Years for you two to get back with that pie," my mother joked complacently while Bella blushed and feigned sudden interest in her hands.

As the night wore on we talked, they ate, and my mother's thoughts remained a mixture of blissful contentment, doting pride, and excitement about her many up and coming film projects.

"Thanks for cooking such a wonderful Christmas dinner," my mother gushed. "I know my son was no help. For a boy who's so clueless about food he sure eats like a monster."

"You have no idea," Bella added softly and I shot her a blunt glare. Bella responded my sticking her tongue out at me childishly and my mind descended into thoughts of things I would love to see her tongue doing.

My mother, rightly surmising that she had stumbled onto sexual subtexts steered the conversation to gifts.

I was more than happy to volunteer to rid the table of the vile smelling food while they settled into the living room that Alice had so enthusiastically decorated.

When I finished tossing everything with a smell that offended me down the garbage disposal I joined Bella and Elizabeth.

"I know you've never been into fashion," my mother was saying as Bella ran her hands adoringly over a beautiful sapphire blue scarf. "But when I saw this in Paris I knew this color would look gorgeous against your porcelain skin. It's Chanel."

"Is that a designer?" Bella asked and I stifled a chuckle at my mother's outraged expression. If Alice were there to hear such a travesty she would have dug herself a grave to roll over in.

"Merry Christmas Bella," she said as she shook her head, the shock of her lack of fashion knowledge seeming too much to bear.

"And you," she said to me, "open this,"

I took the box and un-wrapped it slowly. When I opened it there was a beautiful colorful tapestry of something that looked like a creature with men dancing around it. It was exquisite artwork.

"Wow, thank you," I managed to say and she smiled all pleased with herself.

"I knew you'd appreciate it. It's a Polynesian tapestry," she explained. "A local in New Zealand told me that the creature in the center is what they believed to be a vampire. How cool is that?"

"Very cool, mom," I mumbled dejectedly. I could feel Bella's eyes searching mine and I glanced up to find that they were full of mirth. She was laughing at me. Surprisingly I found my lips turning upwards as well.

"Merry Christmas, son," she said and wrapped her hands around me. I returned the hug as lightly as I could without crushing her. "Been working out, I see," she added.

"Something like that," I shrugged.

We talked for awhile longer until it grew late and past time to take Bella home. Elizabeth kissed Bella goodnight and excused herself for bed but not before warning me to not stay out too late with a goading wink.

As we made our way to my Volvo I noted that Bella had wrapped the deep blue scarf around her neck, unknowingly dimming her scent. But the color did look enticing against her pale skin.

"The scarf looks pretty on you," I observed as we headed in her house's direction.

She touched her delicate fingers to the expensive material lightly. "Today was…nice, really nice," she said suddenly.

It was more than nice. It was everything our relationship should be.

Once again I wanted to plunge into thoughts of what ifs and what could have beens.

"I-I got you a gift," I heard her say which brought me out of my gloomy thoughts. "I mean, you know how I'm not into gift giving but I thought you might like this. It helped me understand…what you're going through."

She scooted a large unwrapped book into my hands and I accepted it in shock. The print read, "Interview with the Vampire". I'd heard of it, of course, but never read it.

"The movie was actually what helped me figure out that you were…you know. Anyway, it's not what you think- not Dracula or anything. But since you have so much free time at night, I figure you could use it as reading material when you sit comfortably in my chair to watch me sleep," she added with a wishful tone in her voice.

Oh how she knew me so well. With all my insisting on staying away from her I still found myself in her room at night, every night.

I didn't know what to say. "Thank you. I… remembered how you hated gifts so…"

"You remembered not to get me anything?" she squealed in delight and I knew I looked utterly confused.

"Yeah…"

"Well then that's the best gift you could possibly give me," she gushed.

"Wow… you really love not getting gifts…"

She rolled her eyes and smiled at me. "I'm a strange girl, I know. And that's why you love me." With that she gathered her things and I followed her to her door completely speechless.

As she opened the door I fought the urge to kiss her one more time. That was what boyfriends do and the act was over.

"I'm free tomorrow if you want to play house some more…for your mother," she added and I smiled, immediately perking up.

"Tomorrow then," I said with a huge smile one my face.

For as long as my mother stayed we could keep the act going.

X

_Oh we're never gonna survive unless_

_We get little crazy_

_No we're never gonna survive_

_Unless we are little crazy_

My mother stayed with me throughout the holiday and never once caught on that her son was an undead vampire out for her blood.

She talked and talked and I listened as she went on about her job and some guy named Charles; which I learned from Bella was _not _my father as I'd assumed but just some person she was seeing in the business. I knew it made me selfish but I honestly couldn't care less. Whatever it was that kept her away from me, it didn't upset me at all. In fact it was ideal for the situation.

The New Year had commenced when my mother promptly informed me that she was going back to wherever she kept herself when she wasn't filming. I couldn't even feign interest. Instead I smiled politely and offered to drive her to the airport.

It was wonderful. As far I could tell Elizabeth was exactly what a mother aught to be; clueless and absent. This meant that I didn't have to go on pretending or resisting the urge to kill her in her sleep.

So Bella and I hugged her at the terminal, Bella came of course as the constant buffer between us. We laughed, she cried, and in the end she left me with the wise words of reminding Bella and I to, "Stay safe".

And then she was gone, her scent was all that lingered in the air and on my clothes. As I drove Bella home from the airport in silence I knew that there was one thing I would miss about my mother; Bella. With her there it was like nothing had changed and she and I suddenly returned to some sort of normalcy.

Now the show had to end for a reason. With the novelty of my mother's blood miles away Bella's called to me once more as she sat unknowingly next to me. So trusting, this one.

She looked pretty today with her hair pulled up in a hasty ponytail and little playful tendrils falling messily around her nape and face. Then again, she always looked beautiful. I found myself wondering for the umpteenth time what she was thinking.

When we pulled into her driveway a sense of loss plagued me and I knew that there was no way I could return to what we were after experiencing such bliss for two weeks. Looking over at Bella, I noticed her lips trembling and tears threatening her eyes.

"Bella what's wrong?"

"It's just…I missed this," she confessed. "I missed _us. _I- I thought that maybe if she stayed longer…"

"I know," I finished for her as her feelings mirrored my own. The short two weeks of pretending to be with her were like a dream. I didn't want it to end.

"You know Edward, I was thinking," _Oh boy. _Whatever it was it wasn't going to be good. Hopefully she wasn't going to ask me to hit her again.

"Why does this _have _to end? I mean, we can be friends right, at the very least."

Her eyes were pleading and I simply didn't have to strength to deny her of anything anymore.

"Bella," I sighed wearily. "I want to kill you. Don't you have any sense of self preservation at all?"

She shook her head. "No. Not even a little bit."

"Bella…"

She sighed in exasperation. "You're _such _a Louise. I wish you'd just be like Lestat sometimes and just live life."

"I take it I'm not going to understand that statement until I read the book."

She nodded.

"Bella I…"

She hastily unbuckled her seatbelt and stormed out towards her house and I hastened to follow her.

"_What _have I done now," I asked wearily. I knew people changed moods quickly but this was ridiculous.

"Nothing. A_bsolutely _nothing," she said while stomping her feet like a child.

_Oh God, where have I seen this before? _The last time I saw her that upset about _nothing _being done to her I found myself compelled to strike her.

I hastened to smooth over the situation as she finally opened her front door with me at her heels as she marched towards the stairs. "Bella, what do you mean nothing?" I asked as I trailed her up the stairs pleadingly. She refused to acknowledge my presence.

And then one of those moments of obtuseness struck.

"Bella what is this about? Why the sudden mood change?" I asked, "Is this because of your period…" _Oh crap. _I had to stick my foot in my mouth.

Bella spun around at me and looked and a myriad of emotions played across her scarlet face; shock, anger, embarrassment, realization, then fear.

_Oh no, she thinks…_

"Wait that's not… not what I mean…it's ok. I'm not going to… it's not…"

I sighed and tried again. "Bella relax, it's not like that at all. You're not at any more risk around me now than you usually are."

"Oh…" she said as comprehension set in and then she was angry again. "So you're just being the typical male idiot; blaming everything on female hormones" She accused.

I nodded as I had no excuse for my pig headedness. "Yes, pretty much…I'm sorry." I hung my head low like a guilty puppy begging for forgiveness.

_Wow, now we're even fighting like a normal couple. _

She glared at me for a long time until her shoulders shook with laughter. Then she began laughing hysterically.

What?

"Edward," she said between gasps, "we just had our first non-blood related argument in months."

I smiled. _Except it was completely blood related. _

"What were you saying, before I so rudely interrupted you with my foolishness," I asked.

'I don't even remember," she sighed and threw herself on the bed exasperatedly which brought her menstrual blood more to my attention. "I'm still shaken from that comment but I think I was done with your lack of action." She stated.

"My _lack _of action?" I quarried.

"_Yes," _she groaned into her pillow dramatically then forced herself upright. "You don't to _do_ anything about our situation. You just want to bitch and moan about it."

My mouth hit the floor in shock. "Excuse me, but I wasn't aware that there was something I could do about our "situation""

"Oh but there is," she shot back. "You just don't want to consider it."

"Are you…insane" I roared. I was positively incensed at what she was considering. Didn't she care about her life at all?

"A little," she quipped with a little smile to lighten my mood to no avail.

She sighed. "This is why I can't talk to you about this. You'll just freak out."

"You're right, I don't want to hear whatever plan you have that involves you ending your life," I stated without a hint of amusement.

I rose and began storming towards the front door.


	20. The Game

**AN: Review!**

As cliché at it was, I had to admit it, I was a vampire hooked on Anne Rice novels. Admittedly, Bella's comparison was right. I was exactly like Louis; too self loathing to be of any good. No wonder Rice never wrote about him again.

But she wanted me to be like Lestat- selfish Lestat who treated humans like pawns, who would turn a young child just for his amusement.

I couldn't understand it so I delved deeper into The Vampire Chronicles, which did indeed provide a wealth of entertainment in my sleepless nights. But as I delved I couldn't find one saving grace for this immortal character.

He was selfish and so was I, I had to admit. But somehow Lestat managed to just take whatever he wanted, no matter the consequences. He lived for himself and it satisfied him. I was selfish, yet I always ended up denying myself of what I wanted the most and yet it still only brought misery.

I wished I could be like him in that respect. I wished that I didn't have such a huge conscience; that I could just act, damn the consequences- just take what I want; change Bella, make her mine.

Hell, I didn't even know how Carlisle could do it. I would honestly rather die than be what I am. I couldn't even grasp changing one person, much less an entire coven. And yet, no one seemed to mind their damned existence. Everyone was carrying out this humanoid life, largely ignoring the fact that we aren't human and our whole existence is to kill and cause pain.

Everyone except for Rosalie, who, seemed to see me eye-to-eye when it came to pining for humanity. But then again, even Rosalie, who hated being a vampire, had Emmett changed for her.

Why did it seem like I was the only one making sense? Or was I the only one missing the point?

X

Since the day I stormed out on her, Bella had been avoiding me, I mean, really avoiding me. She didn't acknowledge my presence in school or in class when I tried in vain to make polite conversation with her and she refused to speak to me when I sporadically showed up in her room unannounced.

She shunned me completely and it was driving insane. Really, I had no right to be so upset. After all, wasn't that what I wanted; for her to stay away from me? Unfortunately it seemed as if the more she pulled away from me the more starved for her attention I became. I was afraid that I had finally pushed her too far.

January went by in a flash and February came, bringing blanketing snow and nauseating heart shaped posters in lots. From my secluded distance I watched as Bella became her old self again- No not her old self. She was different; somehow she stood taller and seemed to hold a more commanding presence. She seemed sure of herself and it showed. As Valentine's Day drew near the male population at Forks high revolved around her constantly; plaguing me with their hormone riddled thoughts of her.

Really, that Newton boy was starting to get on my nerves. Not only was he already dating her friend Jessica but his thoughts constantly drifted to Bella. His perverseness was almost as annoying as his lack of imagination. I mean, how many times was he going to picture Bella in a school girl outfit offering to be his love slave?

Even worse it seemed that my entire family, not just Alice was slowly falling under her spell. Now Emmett and Jasper seemed intrigued by "my human". On any given day it wasn't a rare sight to catch Emmett joking with her or Jasper flashing a smile and a friendly wave. It drove me absolutely insane. She was mine. If anyone was going to endanger her life by being close to her it was me.

I was well aware that I had fallen way off the deep end.

When Valentine's Day arrived it was as if she were caught in the middle of a feeding frenzy. It was ridiculous. Boys circled her like prey, flashing suspicious glares at possible competition. And I watched with misery as she received a bag full of candy and those little heart-shaped cards from every boy with a pulse. Actually, even Emmett, much to mine and Rosalie's dismay gave her one of those hearts with a perverted joke on it.

My life had plummeted the deepest level of hell- a facsimile of earth where everyone was put there to torture me.

Did I really have the right to be jealous that she seemed to be paying everyone attention but me? No. Did that matter? No. I was practically about to grab a desk and fling it at the next male she spoke to.

I wanted to grab her and shake her and make her look at me. But it was pointless. I truly had hurt her for the last time. All because I refused to entertain her ridiculous idea of becoming a vampire. Had she not seen what I'd been going through? Was this what she wanted for herself? Obviously, from the way she was still holding a grudge she did.

The final bell rang and my feet moved by its own volition towards the sound of her heartbeat to find her leaning against her locker talking to her umpteenth admirer.

Everything within me screamed mine. She was mine. How dare this guy flirt with my Bella and how dare she stand there encouraging him. Who cared if we weren't dating?

With a deadly scowl I approached them and let out a possessive growl. The boy's mind went from sex to fear and it wasn't long until he scampered off leaving Bella and me alone…for about a split second until she slammed her locker and attempted to walk off.

"Bella…Bella stop." I reached out and pulled her to me lightly, making sure not to hurt her with my strength.

She rolled her eyes and focused them on everything but me. "Please, don't ignore me," I pleaded.

Her expression softened and she fixed her eyes on mine with determination. "This is what you want remember?"

I shook my head. "No, it's not- I thought I did…"

"Well you can't just change your mind," she spat tersely. "I can't… do this dance with you anymore..."

"What happened to being friends?" Somehow our situation had become completely reversed. This must have been the way Bella felt when I basically told her to leave me alone. Now she didn't want to have anything to do with me and I couldn't for the life of me understand why? Had I hurt her that bad when I stormed out? She'd gone from wanting desperately for me to keep some sort of contact with her to cutting me off completely.

When she didn't answer me I pressed further. "Is this about what you asked me last month? Please, you can't fault me for being upset." I pleaded.

Bella looked at me for a long time in silence and sighed then replied, "It's about all of it…those weeks with your mom were… look I cant pretend like I don't want to be with you. We can't be friends…knowing that any moment you'll tell me you're too dangerous and disappear."

I began to protest but she silenced me. "So I think I'm finally going to take your advice- I go my way, you go yours…"

Oh for crying out loud. Now. Now, she listens to me? Now that I realize I can't exist without her in my life in some form or the other she tells me she thinks its best to separate.

I watched as she donned a large sweater, gloves, and threw her Chanel scarf around her neck as she mentally prepared herself to exit the school hallway into what I assumed to be the freezing cold.

Remembering to put up appearances, I buttoned up my jacket and pretended to be cold as I followed her through the doors and towards her truck.

"You're absolutely right," I announced to her as we reached her truck. "I absolutely can't argue with you staying away from me and don't think I'm not aware that I'm being a selfish prick."

When she nodded in whole hearted agreement I shot her a wry look.

"You're not going to give any leeway are you?" I asked and she nodded, her lips pursed with determination but her heartbeat betraying her.

"I've already laid my cards out on the table for you Edward," she said in a no nonsense voice that sounded foreign on her lips.

"You know I can't do that."

"No, you won't."

"You're right." I nodded somberly. "I won't." I couldn't ever be as selfish as to end her life just to keep her.

She let out a long sight and opened her truck door. "That's what I thought."

Before she could climb in I put my hand on the door to stop her angrily. "So is that what this is? Is this your way of punishing me for not ending your life for you?"

Bella just rolled her eyes. "Hardly," she snorted. "This is my way of protecting my heart from getting trampled on for the umpteenth time by staying away from the guy who doesn't know what he wants."

I began to protest but she interrupted me. "I'm here, Edward and I love you. That hasn't changed. I still want you and that's the problem. You see, I just want to be with you and I cant settle for anything less."

Again I opened my mouth to speak but she cut me off.

"And until you miraculously make up your mind to do something about it, I'm taking your advice. I am keeping my distance from you."

"Bella," I sighed in defeat. "Any decision that would make you happy…that would make me happy would be completely wrong on so many levels."

"So then I guess this is goodbye, Edward," she almost whispered.

I nodded because I couldn't trust myself to speak and closed her door for her and watched forlornly as she drove off.

X

Somewhere in the distance James crouched on a branch watching the sparring between the strange girl and vampire with curiosity. From the sound of their argument he could tell that it wasn't the typical dialogue between hunter and prey but that they were friends. Lovers even. Such ridiculousness could mean only one thing; this Edward was a Cullen.

From their tiff he also could tell that she knew what he was and wasn't afraid. Her defiance and sheer audacity fascinated James. After all, he had never killed a human who provided a fight and the thought of feeding off her flashed in his mind. Even from the distance, he could not see her but he could smell her blood and knew that it would be satiating. She would be a fun chase.

But he also could tell that she was of some importance to this Edward fellow. And if he was in fact apart of Carlisle's odd coven then she was important to them too. James knew that looks were deceiving and although the Cullens seemed like a peaceful bunch he knew they could raise hell, especially that Jasper.

Perhaps, he thought, she and Edward were mated and that they were waiting to change her. In that case, James would definitely not try to cause any problems with the family. He knew how he felt about Victoria and how many kinds of dead he would kill the person who tried to hurt her.

But then again, what kind of negligent idiot would leave their mate in such a vulnerable state? Anyone could kill her. She could die at any moment. And if they were going to be so careless her death might as well be from his hands. He thought awhile longer until he realized that he wasn't going to come to any conclusion. This frustrated him immensely as he was a man who loved to plot things out ahead of time. He realized that this Bella human was too much fun to ignore. No matter the consequences he was determined to play with her.

James saw an opening the second he heard her command Edward to stay away from her and heard his weak compliance. Ha. If she only knew what she was doing. She was making it all too easy for him.

Not wanting anyone to catch his scent he leaped from the branch and headed away from the scene. He knew that if he wanted her he was going to have to play nice, something he was not good at. But oh how he loved a challenge.

X

Still sniffling, I struggled with my frazzled mind to open the front door to my house and climbed the stairs forlornly. A chill wafted through the house and I froze, mid step on the stairway. The window in my room, I realized, had been opened and that could mean only one thing; Edward had refused to listen to me. My traitorous heart betrayed me and started galloping in excitement but I made sure my face remained stern and emotionless as I completed my ascent and shoved my room door open to find that I was horribly wrong.

My window was indeed wide open, letting the sub-zero air prickle my skin but there was no Edward in sight. Instead, a strange blonde man, no older than me, sat rocking back and forth in my rocking chair looking at me with an amused expression on his handsome face. He was scraggly looking, wearing only a pair of rugged jeans, no shirt, and his long wild hair pulled in a ponytail revealing his unshaven face. And yet, I knew instantly that this was no break in. He was too beautiful and too dangerous looking to be a simple hoodlum.

I stood there; empty handed as I'd unconsciously dropped my belonging to the floor, staring at him in a state of paralyzed shock. In response to my stupor the man only cocked his head in amusement and stifled a chuckle.

"You're pretty," he suddenly announced upon raking me over with his dark wolfish eyes. "I'll give him that- but not really in a conventional way."

The fact that my possible murderer or rapist was sitting blithely in my mothers chair calling me pretty completely dismantled my brain. I couldn't even muster enough sense to be afraid. In fact, I felt like I was in some surreal dream where handsome runway models break into small town girls' rooms, make polite conversation with them, and then slaughter them brutally.

"Um…thank you?" I heard myself answer in shock which only amused him further. "Are you going to kill me?" I asked but surprisingly my voice held no fear, only shock and disconnect.

Who was this guy and what did he want with me?

He chuckled audibly and the sound sent cold shivers down my spine. There was no doubt about it. This man was a cold blooded killer, I could feel it. Even though his face looked politely amused I could feel the coldness behind his smile and the danger dripping from every word he spoke and yet I was still unafraid. I couldn't be. Not after all the danger I'd been in all year. Now that my life seemed in actual peril it seemed I'd wasted my emotions on more deadly creatures to fear this deranged man.

"Maybe," he answered and studying me to gage my reaction. I gave none.

My head began flying with the implications of his statement but I still kept my emotions blank. After all, sickos like him thrived on fear, it egged them on. Whatever he was going to do with me he was going to do without any encouragement or satisfaction from me.

My eyes flitted to the open window and his eyes followed. "I don't suppose you're going to let me scream for help or anything like that," I asked carefully, keeping my eyes on the open window and calculating the chances of my neighbors hearing me.

He shrugged as if he didn't care. "You can try, brown eyes, but you'd be doing yourself more harm than good." My eyes widened in confusion and he suddenly stood up and stalked over to the window but didn't close it. His position brought his chiseled physique to my attention and I realized that there was no way I could fight him off. He was obviously way stronger than me.

"Cause if I close this window." He ran his hands along the ledge as if threatening to close it, "I'll definitely kill you and that would just ruin all my fun."

* Thanks kellinw for pointing out my errors. I re-read and edited it. Let me know guys if I need to correct anything else. 

Whoa. You guys better find a flask, we're playing fast and loose. Lol, yeah I'm watching Chicago right now and thinking of adopting it to Twilight since its set in the 20's when Edward would be an adult.

So now the tables have turned for our dear lovers. It's been a long time coming but Edward is slowly coming around. Did you like my little shirtless Cam candy? He can break in my room anytime! So that's that. The stories end is drawing nigh so please please shoot me some feedback. 


	21. Everything is Illuminated

**AN: **

**Inspiration: Bad News-Kanye**

**and Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm- Crash Test Dummies**

**I know, I'm kind of a HUGE 90's grunge fan.**

Edward

I was running, racing through the forest at my advanced speed when I caught wind of the artificial sugary scent which could only belong to another vampire. The scent was everywhere and yet nowhere all at once. I knew that it didn't belong to any of the Cullens. They all smelled like Carlisle's venom and Jasper and Alice's smell was ingrained in my mind as well. This was a new vampire.

I didn't really think anything of it. Besides, there were many vampires in the world. Perhaps this was a friendly vampire just passing through. Whoever he was, he had been there hours ago and, not being a particularly good tracker, I had no hope of following its scent.

My back pocket began vibrating and my heart leapt with excitement when I retrieved my phone and saw Bella's house number.

"Hello?"

"Is she with you?" came the shaky voice of Police chief Swan.

_Oh no…_ My stomach fell to my feet in panic at his words. "No," I answered, my voice cautious. "Is anything wrong?"

X

Bella

"Uggh." A gargled moan came from my sore lips as I tried in vain to open my eyes and sit up.

My entire body felt sore, as if I'd been in a bone jostling car accident and my senses were coming to me slowly. The first thing I realized was that I was moving, fast. But I wasn't actually moving my legs. When I finally managed to pry my eyelids apart my stomach churned.

I was flying, jumping, whizzing through the tree tops at an alarming pace. No, my legs were bound in a cold lock.

Then I remembered who, better yet what was holding me. I was slung, like a sack of potatoes, over the vampire's- yes I was sure he was now, shoulder. As he ran, everywhere his body touched mine was like slamming into metal. My skin felt like it was black and blue all over and to top it all off I was cold and getting motion sickness.

As I watched the forest flash by from above, the bile rising to my throat, my body crashing against my murderer's boulder-like skin, I thought of the last thing I said to Edward.

X

Jacob

I was in the forest sniffing around for Bella's scent when I caught wind of the sickeningly sweet smell of a bloodsucker. My nostrils flared and my fur bristled immediately.

Being a young werewolf I couldn't really tell them apart, which was fine. They were all just a bunch of evil leeches to me. And whoever this unluckily bloodsucker was I was going to take him down.

He was fast, very fast, but I had tons of energy and nothing to do. I began to follow his scent as fast as I could, even though he had a mile or two on me.

As I ran and panted another smell hit me. It was human, better yet, it was Bella.

My paws pounded against the forest ground as I rushed in her direction.

X

Edward

Police lights danced inside of Bella's dark bedroom granting me unnecessary illumination as I crept around. The first thing that hit me was the strange scent of the foreign vampire from earlier and I nearly collapsed in anguish right there.

My dormant heart sped up with phantom beats as my eyes darted around desperately searching for clues that my Bella was still alive. But there was nothing.

Whoever this vampire was he came through the window, like I had, but my bad tracking skills could deduce no more about his movements about the room. I smelled Bella everywhere but I couldn't tell the difference between fresh and old scents. And I knew that no matter how hard I searched I would never find her body.

Dejectedly, my knees gave out and I collapsed on her bed retching with emotion.

"Bella" her name caught in my throat as I clutched her pillow and let her smell envelope me.

I could have laid there for eternity; wallowing in her scent till it went away. I wanted to disappear in it.

Something made a crunching noise beneath me as my arm swept over the covers. In a hysterical fit I nearly tore the covers apart trying to find it until I realized that it was only a crumpled piece of paper. Dejectedly, I opened it and read Bella's messy handwriting.

_Becoming a Vampire:_

_Cons- Loosing my family and friends, possibly killing people, becoming broody, not sleeping, drinking blood…eek!, _

_Pros- Being with Edward_

_Vampirism wins!_

Gazing at the proof of her ridiculous logic I chuckled bitterly until my chuckles turned to dry sobs.

How could I have been such a blind fool? How could I have let the love of my life go without a fight when she as willing to die for me?

How could I have thought that by staying away from her I was somehow protecting her from my world? The minute I left her alone someone else got to her.

And now she was dead because of me.

My hands fisted into tight fists. All this time I'd been telling myself I was trying to protect her but it wasn't true. If I cared about her safety I'd have been at her side, always. No, I was trying to protect myself, from shame and guilt. Trying to shield myself from traitorous thoughts of drinking her blood or turning her.

"Oh Bella…"

A flashing light illuminated the window for a second before disappearing and something strange caught my eye. I leapt off her bed and moved closer to inspect the clear window pane as another red light flashed and gasped in anger and unbridled relief.

A message smeared crudely by a finger read, "Come out to play. Alone, or else."

I swallowed the venom in my mouth when I realized that it was her little fingers that left the message. Reeling, I realized that whoever this vampire was, he'd forced her to write it and was toying with me. But I also realized that she was alive.

There were no words to describe the sense of joy and relief that washed over me. I could have cried and yet, I had no time. If she was alive she wouldn't be for long. The temperature, I was told, was dropping and if the deranged vampire didn't kill her the cold would.

I speared my hand across the window t erase the message before I leapt away from the room on a nearby branch and inhaled deeply. The wind was blowing and their scents would be impossible to track but I had no choice. I had to find her.

X

Alice

Jasper's face was etched in concern as he stared at my crumpled body, clutching my knees on the floor against our bedroom wall.

Too many visions were bombarding me at once and for the first time since I'd seen that vision of James, I was beginning to see an unhappy ending. I was panicked, sobbing with fear, and going in and out of premonition filled trances.

"Alice, darlin'" Jasper soothed as he went on his knees to hold me. "I have never seen you so scarred in my life."

My response was to go into another trance of macabre visions.

"Darlin' if you're not going to tell me what you've seen at least tell Carlisle."

I shook my head and shivered with another wave of fear. "N-no," I trembled, "I c-cant i-interfere w-with Bella's f-future."

"Oh Lord," Jasper cursed under his breath. "Alice, baby I'm calling the family up here. This has gone on long enough."

"N-no."

"Alice," Jasper warned in a stringent tone, "if you know anything about Edward's human going missing…" His eyes suddenly widened with recognition. "James?"

I nodded and another violent vision gripped me again.

_No. No. No. _This wouldn't do. Every time I opened my mouth to Jazzy it only made the visions bombard me more.

But her coldness was so intense I could feel it. So was her pain. I couldn't let it go on. No friend would let such torture pass for destiny.

"Call Edward," I panted and another fresh vision gripped me again. I was changing her future. "Now."

X

Bella

Finally, what seemed like hours later, James stopped moving and set me down, almost disturbingly gently, on the icy ground. I leaned against at tree truck and looked up at him with weary hooded eyes.

Who knew dying would take so long.

"C-can you j-just kill me now," I pleaded in a weak voice, the increasingly cold air making my voice rasp. "P-please."

As I felt the blue winter wind prickle my exposed skin I knew I was either going to die from a vampire bite or from hypothermia. And the quick death of a bite suddenly seemed appealing to my dazed mind,

James, who wasn't wearing a shirt cocked his head and laughed and the sound made my bones rattle and skin prickle but not from the cold.

"You _are _a funny one aren't you?" he mused then put on an affected voice, "Oh dear, did I forget to grab your jacket?"

He laughed again and my skin felt as if it was being pricked by thousands of needles.

I would have rolled my eyes if I could feel them but I only felt pain and numbness all at once.

Another icy gust blew and my body went into a fit of confusions and I cried out in pain. It felt as if my toes were attempting to get away from my feet.

"Oh relax, Bella," he crooned as if he were talking to a precious pet. "I'll kill you soon enough."

Surprisingly his words comforted me. As the cold numbness burned me alive I knew I'd lost my will to live. I just wanted to end the pain as quickly as possible.

"And then your boyfriend Edward can come find your lifeless cold body sitting right there," my mouth struggled to protest. "Then he'll probably try to kill me but between me and you, I think I can take the new born."

"N-n-no," I gasped. I could die here but Edward couldn't. He had to live.

He continued as if he didn't hear me. "And then the fun will be over." He pouted then shrugged. "Such is life."

"L-leave Edward out of this," I managed to scream and he just stared at me as if I'd lost my mind.

"Why?" he laughed. "How would that make this fun for me?"

Suddenly my blood felt as if it was attacking me. It literally felt as if I had needles coursing through my system. My body shuttered in another fit and the vampire's eyed me hungrily.

He sighed. "Just when we were getting to know each other," he muttered to himself. "Humans," he scoffed. "They're so fragile."

He stalked towards me slowly like a predator to his prey and I closed my eyes as another cold tremor rocked me.

"Ah ah, ah, Doll face, don't you go dying on me."

I didn't respond. My eyes stayed firmly shut and I fisted my feet and my hands trying desperately to hold on to feeling there.

Then I suddenly felt warm. I opened my eyes to find that I was in Edward's meadow with the sunlight pouring over us the way it did that day he took me there. I opened my eyes to find his green eyes staring back at me.

"Bella, you've been so amusing so far, don't fail me now," the killer crooned in my ear but I didn't respond. I just kept staring into Edward's green eyes. "Stay with me babe. Open your eyes while I kill you."

But my eyes were open. I was in heaven, staring into Edward's emerald eyes.

I love you, human Edward mouthed to me before I felt something cold brush against my neck then something knock into me with a loud growl.

Edward? _Edward._

My cold eyes ripped open to stare into Edward's black eyes. He was crouched above me looking extremely terrifying for the first time.

"Y-you f-found me," I stammered but he shushed me.

"Save your breath, Bella, you have hypothermia." With that I felt an extremely large coat being wrapped around my stiff body and I struggled to snuggle closer to him. "It won't do, I'm sorry," he said ruefully. "My body will only make things worse."

I began to protest when I heard familiar dangerous laugh. Edward was on his feet in an instant and my neck angled to see my killer, who had obviously been thrown some distance, stalking towards us and covered in snow.

"Edward…" before James could finish his sentence Edward lunged at him and began slamming his fists into his face.

"Shut up, James" Edward snarled. "I don't want to hear those thoughts."

"Ah, it does tricks," he chuckled as he threw Edward away from him and artfully danced away from his blows.

I don't know how long the two fought but eventually I lost feeling in my legs and fingers and my body shuttered in another fit.

"Oh God, Bella stay with me," I heard Edward say, his voice nearing me until I saw the blonde knock him away.

"You're too late, Edward," he sneered. "There's nothing you can do to save her out here…unless."

_Yes, turn me. Make the pain go away. _Edward seemed to be thinking the same thing and ran towards me. Everything happened so fast as I twisted in pain and numbness. Edward crouched down to me and held my wrist, studying it for a moment.

"Make the pain stop," I pleaded in a broken voice and Edward surprisingly didn't argue.

"I will, Bella." He lifted my wrist to his lips urgently and whispered, "I can do this," to himself.

I was seconds away from, what I thought, would be relief from the pain when James pushed Edward away from me and the two struggled in the snow as Edward attempted to reach my outstretched hand.

My eyes fluttered as I watched the vision of Edward pinning James down and biting a huge chunk from his neck flicker and dim.

"It seems you're too late, lover boy," I heard James sneer and then my eyes closed.

The next thing I heard the unmistakable howl of a ferocious wolf.

**AN: So this is my version of the ballet studio. Obviously things are different but you like? And Edward finally coming to his senses...finally! And so you finally saw the vision Alice had all those chapters ago. And where does Jacob fit in this?**

**Stay tuned. **

**Review! I want to hear your thoughts. It's not just Edward. Lol. **


	22. Fighting and Tears

**AN: Sorry for the delay. I was deliberating on how I wanted to flow into the next, and last chapter. And thanks SO much for the positive response on the last chapter. I'm told it was my best one yet. Yay.**

**I'm close to 300 reviews guys. Come one. Leave me feedback.**

**Big Pimpin: So I have a lot of stories coming up soon including a sequel to **_**After Ever After **_**between Ness and Jake in Tokyo. It's totally different from other R/J fic so stay tuned. And a vamp-tastic Twilight version of Chicago---(Preview: He had vampire strength and she had none and yet they both reached for the gun)!. AND I've been given the story **_**The Human Stain**_** to continue. It's all in the coming weeks so please add me to author alerts.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

Jacob's POV:

I didn't know what to do. Bella was out cold on the frozen ground while Edward was grappling with a blonde leech. My first instinct was to attack and kill them both but Edward looked at me and a sudden understanding fused between us.

Immediately I dashed over to Bella and tried to envelope her with my warmth. Poor girl felt frozen solid but she was breathing. _Thank God. _

"Take her!" Edward and the other leach wrestled each other in the snow. He was clearly the fastest and the strongest but the blond had skill. It was obvious that he was nothing like the Cullens. He was a killer- an animal.

I was shaking. The mere presence of these two had my body raging with adrenaline and fury I couldn't control. My eyes locked on the blond for a split second and I knew I wanted a piece of him.

"Jacob," Edward's voice snapped me out of my violent haze. "She'll die."

I looked down at Bella and noticed that even with the warmth from my body Bella was getting worse. Her eyes looked strung out and glazed over and she was mumbling unintelligibly.

"Jacob you can kill me later. Ger her to the hospital!"

_Says the guy with opposable thumbs. _I groaned as I struggled to move and keep Bella's stiff body on my back, crouched down on all fours, and took off towards town.

As we approached the hospital I set her down on the pavement, cocked my head, and tried to figure out how exactly I was going to get her through the doors without people looking suspicious at my wolf form. Making a quick decision I phased back to human form and carried her writhing body in my naked arms. As I trudged towards the doors I muttered a prayer of thanks that the parking lot was empty. I didn't even want to know how ridiculously shady I looked carrying Bella in my birthday suit.

That disgusting sweet smell was at my nose again and I realized that the lot was not empty. Dr. Cullen and one his little leeches came running towards me and my body trembled with fury.

"Oh thank God," the little one shrilled and started to grab Bella from me until I stiffened and moved away protectively. "So you're the reason why I couldn't see her in my visions."

"Jacob, give her to me," the doctor commanded and then without even waiting for my response snatched her out of my hands and began checking her pulse.

I stood there, trembling in naked fury but in my heart I knew Dr. Cullen would take care of her.

"I'm going to get her inside." He said. "Jacob." He looked me in the eyes as if he was trying to search my soul. "Thank you so much." And then he ran her through the hospital doors leaving me with the pixie.

X

Edward

I managed to kick him off of me and attacked. His face made a sickening sound as my fists connected with his head over and over with my newborn strength and yet he wouldn't stop laughing and I realized that this was all just a game to him. My fear for Bella's life, my fury amused him. He got off on it.

"For the love of God, Die already." I uprooted a nearby tree and threw it at his smirking figure.

He dragged his ruffled body from the ground and stalked towards me with a smug smirk. "You fight like a human," he goaded, chunks of his bitten neck flapping as he talked. "But you're more fun than your girlfriend Bella."

I tensed immediately at the mention of her name.

"Oh you should have heard her. 'Oh please, just kill me,'"

My fist where at his face in an instant- pounding into him endlessly. I knew it wouldn't kill him but I wanted it to hurt. I hit him with every ounce of strength I had, with every frustration, pain, and sense of failure, damnation and fear I possessed.

A hand grasped my shoulder and pulled me away from him. It was Emmett. Jasper came around in front of me and pinned James down.

"Go Edward, we'll finish this. Go be with Bella."

Without a word I nodded and prepared to bolt when I heard a sinister thought and I began to trudge back towards him in a violent haze.

"Go. She might not make it," Jasper growled to me and I took off immediately but his thoughts plagued me all the way there.

X

Beep…beep….beep…

Bella

Ugh. A gargled moan fell out of my chapped lips and as I slowly came too. My body, it seemed was rejecting me- not any foreign substance- just me. All over felt as is I'd literally been thrown in the spin cycle. I was cold, sore and wet and yet there was a strange heat radiating from above me.

My eyes fluttered open to find the two men of my life sitting at opposite sides of my bed, both staring at each other with a mixture of restrained fury and repulsion on their faces.

_Edward…Jake. Jake…the wolf. James…Edward!_

I distinctly remembered hearing the sound of a wolf's howl before passing out. I don't know what happened but I had a pretty good feeling that I owed these two for my life. I was alive, if the constant beeping of my hear monitor was any indication.

"Edward," I croaked in my strangled voice and reached out for his hands weakly.

"Don't hold my hand Bella I'm too cold," Edward uttered self loathingly, and with that he placed my hand into Jacob's warm grasp. Hopefully it wasn't a symbolic action.

Jacob who was neither looking at me or Edward took my hand somberly between his two hands to spread the heat. It was impossible to read Jacob's thoughts and his face was blank.

I let my hands stay with Jacob but returned my attention to Edward who looked like he was about to cry, if possible.

"E-Edward. I-I'm a-alright n-now," I managed through shivering lips. I was still incredible cold…

Heart wrenching sobs poured from the pit of his core. Not in my entire life had I ever seen a man cry. Never. Not even when Renee left Charlie. And yet, there Edward was, this beautiful self loathing creature sobbing without tears. For me.

I felt my frozen heart bend and break with sound of his tearless sobs and icy tears began to run down my cheeks. Edward, who loved me more than anything in the word, I was sure of it now, blamed himself for what James did to me. Right then he hated himself. I knew. He thought that he had failed me somehow. That somehow Jacob was adequate where he wasn't.

Beside me Jacob eyes flitted to Edward then quickly focused on something in the distance. He seemed to be debating something in his head.

Retrieving my warmed hands from Jake, who averted his eyes, I found the strength the sit up and wrapped my arms around Edward so that his head rested on my chest.

"I'm fine Edward. I'm alive because you saved me- you and Jake," I lulled, stroking his beautiful bronze hair. "It's over. Nothing can hurt me now."

"I have to go." Edward mumbled incoherently and stood from his seat.

_Go! Go where. He can't leave me. _My mind was frantic- completely forgetting our earlier argument. Maybe Edward thought he had to leave me to keep me safe. No. I couldn't be away from him now- not ever. The thought of Edward leaving made my heart go into overdrive. The monitor began making alarming sounds but I ignored it.

"N-no Edward," I stammered. "Y-you…you can't leave me. No…we have to…we have to be together. You can't. You just can't..."

"Bella!" Edward silenced my frantic rant. "Bella please calm down. Take a deep breath. Bella I'm only going to talk to Carlisle and the others. I'll be right back I promise."

Whew. I had had my first panic attack. I exhaled a breath of relief. I didn't think I could physically handle being apart from him.

"Jacob, can you step outside for a second." Edward asked.

Jake nodded and I missed his heat when he silently exited the room with Edward.

5 minutes later Jake returned without Edward with his shoulders slumped and nervously stuffing a suspiciously familiar looking paper in his pocket.

"What is it?" I called frantically.

He shook his head. "Nothing Bella just calm down" he advised as he reclaimed my hands soothingly.

"I-is Edward coming back?"

"_Yes _Bella Edward's coming back" He said through clenched teeth and I thought I'd offended him.

"I-I'm sorry Jake. I know you never liked Edward…"

"He…the leech really _does_ love you." He said as if were shocked at the realization.

I remained silent. I knew he did and always will. Just as I always would.

"Be honest with me," I suddenly whispered. "_Is _he coming back?"

Jake gritted his teeth and answered, "Yeah, Bella- soon."

Jake

I followed the bloodsucker through the doors and I tried to keep my temper in check. I was pissed. Because of him but not because of him. He let the other bloodsucker degrade Bella like that- almost killed her. _ That sick, disgusting leech. Calm down, you'll phase in this hospital. _

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about." Edward interrupted my viscous thoughts.

That what? What the hell was he talking about? As angry as I was at him I couldn't feel as mad as I wanted to. Edward went against everything I'd been taught about the cold ones. Sure, I never liked the guy when he was dating Bella, but I didn't exactly think of him as a heartless murderer either. Someone had attacked him. That I knew from Sam. Poor guy, I almost felt sorry for him. Then there he was sobbing his dead heart out to Bella like some poor sap and it was all too…human. I didn't like seeing a human side to leeches. I didn't even know they _had_ feelings.

"I can read your thoughts," he announced casually as if it were just an everyday occurrence that somebody said that. My dumbfounded slack jawed expression was all I could muster.

_Great. Just what I need- a bloodsucker reading my thoughts._

"Before I left I read _his _thoughts and there's someone out there that will try to get revenge on Bella."

_W-what? Another bloodsucker out for Bella? Who?_

"His mate-Victoria," he seethed.

Jeez. As if my whole world wasn't already turned on its axis by his little emotional display back there. First I find out that they have emotions now _mates._ This wasn't all fitting into the cold hearted animalistic image I'd been fed of them at all and I didn't like it.

"But you said."

"I know, I don't want to upset her when she's doing so well. But don't tell her anything until I'm gone. I really need you to watch after her if…until I get back. Call the entire pack if you have to. Just keep her with you. It's something I need to take care of myself."

Of course I would protect Bella where he couldn't. But the leech looked so decimated I didn't want to say anything. I nodded. "I'll keep her safe." I said gravely and I meant it. "But one question."

"Yes," he answered my silent thought before I could even voice it and I felt my fury weakening. This wasn't how I was supposed to react. I should've been on a rampage.

"B-but the treaty. You can't," I said weakly with waning conviction.

"It's what she wants." He said and then slid a crumpled piece of paper to me which had her messy handwriting on it. By the time I looked up he disappeared down the hall and I went back to see Bella."

**AN: Whew. I'm so happy that I have so many opinionated and devoted readers to this story who trust me even though they have NO clue where it's going. Thanks for taking this ride with me and I hope you'll be happy with how it ends next chapter which is way longer- promise. **


	23. A Glitch in the System note

****

A glitch in the system:

Sorry for the delay. As you probably know fan fiction wasn't letting anyone log in. Which is sad because I didn't really got to read any of your feedback on the last chapter. I was pissed too because I couldn't review or add/alert some stories. So anyway I encourage you to please leave feedback on the last chapter. These things are important to me. And don't forget to add me to author alerts so you can read the upcoming stories I pimped out last chapter.

I'm posting the next and last chapter tonight so if you don't see its because fan fiction is acting up again.

Off to class I go. Hope to see some reviews when I get back!

P.S.

You guys are so awesome. This story has been such torture and pleasure to write. I really took my time in writing the next chapter- tried to make it all artsy- so give it some love. See you later!


	24. Spring Awakening

**AN: I'm watching the Chelsea Lately show with Peter Faceneli(Carlisle) and his wife on right now and I'm having a hard time concentrating on the task at hand. Sorry if I randomly start writing about how hot he is in this. JK. Clearly its time for a **_**Rogue's Touch **_**update. Hehe. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Spring Awakening. **

**Songs that heavily inspired this chapter: **

**Without You- RENT**

**The Word of Your Body- Spring Awakening**

**Warning: Lemon ahead.**

Spring:

Without him the ground thawed and the seeds took root. The grass grew and the flowers bloomed. The earth turned and spring came. And I healed.

The sun burned as Jacob drove my truck towards my school and I shivered. Even with Jacob's heat it was as if I could never be warm- cold always. I had become a more pathetic version of Edward- with all symptoms of a vampire and none of the perks. So far I was sleepless, sickly pale, and the sun seemed to offend me more than normal.

My paleness was nothing new. Although, it had become a little more noticeable next to the rest of the newly tanned student body, all aglow from the sun's cameo appearance over the usually gloomy town. As for restlessness, I hardly ever slept these days. Every night was the war of restless fits, nightmares of James that usually resulted in me getting up to check if my window was locked and then thoughts of Edward which concluded in me unlocking the window and waiting.

As for my enmity towards the sun, it was more its affects that I disliked. It made things change-bloom, flourish. It made it hard to tell myself that weeks not hours were flying by. The world was spinning on its axis and all I wanted to do was make it stop and wait for Edward to come back to me. But things were changing and he wasn't here. Was he alive? Coming back?

Jacob, my ever present body guard on sunny days when the Cullens couldn't be with me for obvious reasons stopped in the parking lot and silently handed me my backpack which seemed to weigh a lot more than normal.

"Thanks Jake." I tried to give the best authentic smile I could fake. I really didn't want him to see me brooding over him.

"You look pretty today," he commented offhandedly. His eyes flitted to me briefly before settling on the dashboard.

My eyes widened a little bit when he said that and he hastily added, "you'd be surprised what a smile can do Bells," with his typical carefree grin.

I chortled, taking a mental note to smile around Jake more and looked down at my dress. With Alice, I realized it made life easier to just give myself over to her fashion styling completely. My will to fight her had disappeared and so I accepted- cold grimace intact- her gifts and didn't protest when she laid out and labeled all my outfits for me.

Today's torture was grayish white casual sundress with low wedge sandals. And since I'd already used up my one ponytail allowed for the week I wore my hair down it wet loose curls.

"Hey aren't you going to be late," I reminded him. He had his own school to attend and didn't need to be taxiing me around town. "Alice says it should be cloudy this afternoon so she'll pick me up." I hated being treated like a child but yet again it was something I'd lost the will to fight against.

He nodded and then bristled as his eyes fixed on something distant. Something I couldn't see. Then his soot brown eyes bore into mine. "Stay careful Bella."

I leveled an equally serious gaze and asked, "Don't I always?"

He snorted and barely contained an outright roar of laughter before pulling away. Nice to see he was having a fun time driving around in _my _truck.

The lot was almost empty as I was a half an hour early. The sun gleamed above me as I trudged, half dragging my mysteriously heavy bag, towards the school when I suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to keep walking and I did. Veering off, I walked past the school and into the entrance of the woods.

The forest danced around me. The trees swayed with the light wind and the audience of squirrels and birds buzzed seemed to watch me as I marched with a sudden purpose to find that beckoning place.

I had began to sweat by the time I threw the blasted bag down and ripped it open to find what had been weighing me down. As I opened it, my hand suddenly flew to my mouth in understanding when I peered at the contents inside. Alice seemed to have foreseen my little excursion and approved. Instead of books were a pair of boots for hiking, a bottle of water and a blanket. After quickly replacing my wedged sandals with the boots I groaned in frustration. _She saw where I was going and STILL made me wear this dress? _

Minutes trickled into what seemed like hours and I kept walking as the sun coyly played with me through the looming trees. I swayed and stumbled a little but I pressed on with a sort of spell-like determination as I retraced the steps I'd taken almost a year earlier. I closed my eyes and I saw it like it was in front of me- his green eyes welcoming-his warmth enfolding me. There was something about that place that called to me.

Eventually I reached the familiar place where the ground reached for the sky and knew I would have to climb the rest of the way there. _Ok Bella you've done this before. You can do this. _But the last time I was there I had Edward to save me from slipping to my death. Who would save me this time?

I let out another frustrated groan. This time, because I was truly tired of being fragile clumsy Bella- tired of being the girl who needs a flock of mythical bodyguards on her heels all the time. Was I just exceptionally weak or did I just attract more danger than other people? _Definitely the latter._

On that note I did a quick 360 scan of the forest to check if there were any werewolves, vampires or other storybook creatures on my trail. As it seemed there were none I began a slow laborious assault on myself by way of rock climbing. My dress caught constantly, my hands lost grip, and boots slipped nearly causing me to plunge to my death several times but it was a short climb. The hardest this to do was to pull myself onto the soft glass when I was finished.

I hunched over, taking deep ragged breaths for awhile until the light coaxed my eyes upward and I almost sang in excitement. The meadow was exactly the same as I remembered it. Flowers and inviting green grass carpeted the ground and the trees bowed inward, only allowing a small circular stream of light in. Still high on endorphins I kicked the boots off, spread the blanket out so that I could toss my belongings down and proceeded to twirl around like an uncoordinated fairy.

With an elated and exhausted moan I collapsed onto the blanket and looked up at the sky. The torrent of light hit my face and I felt warm for the first time in weeks. I gave a contented sigh and closed my eyes, picturing those mischievous green eyes.

"Ehem."

I gave a start and opened my eyes and almost fainted. Warm butterscotch eyes greeted mine. I blinked several times but the vision of Edward's upside down face hovering over mine remained. His skin was glowing, no glimmering in the light like diamonds.

"Y-you?" I panted and the angel above gave a perfectly lopsided grin.

His musical chuckle resonated through the trees and he nodded, silently. I tilted my head further back to see that he was crouched behind my head and leaning above me in a beautiful predator-like position.

I sat up and flung myself at him at once. The pressure of my body would have knocked him over if he were human but instead he remained in his crouch and I was on my knees with my hands thrown around his back and sobbing into his neck. He clung to me lightly at first and then his grip tightened behind my back as we clutched each other.

We held each other until I stopped crying and immediately I assaulted him with questions. "Why did you leave me? Where did you go? Are you staying?"

I was in the middle of asking him more questions when he put his finger on my lips and sighed. "I had something to take care of…let's leave it at that" he answered darkly.

"B-but."

"I'm sorry I left but I couldn't upset you when you where hanging from a thread. But it's over now and I won't leave again."

I was in the midst of having an anxiety attack when he said those words and I felt a wave of relief wash over me. I didn't know if I could handle him leaving again- not when I had just come to terms with him leaving the first time. Being away from him made…anxious, among other things.

"You- you promise this time," I sputtered with fresh tears choking up my voice. "I can't…I just can't handle you leaving again. I…"

"Bella," he shook me lightly to draw me out of my hysteria and met my eyes solemnly. "I will not leave you again." Every syllable was emphasized in a staccato-like rhythm. His voice always sounded like a song.

I gave a heavy sigh and looked away in slightly agitated concession. "Ok," I breathed and met his smiling eyes again. "I feel like all this stress is sending me into an early grave."

A myriad of emotions played out across Edward's ageless face as he tried to fight back a grimace. _Oh touchy subject._ But then he grinned mysteriously and said, "I thought that was what you wanted."

My eyes widened and we gazed at each other for a long moment- chocolate meeting butterscotch.

"How did you know I'd be here?" he asked suddenly and I suspected to change to subject.

"I didn't," I said as we both settled into a seated position on the blanked, my left hand tangled in his. "This place just…"

"Called to you?"

"Exactly." Turned my head so that I good smile up at his golden eyes. "Is that how it is for you? I remember you telling me that I called to you."

"You call to me in the worst way Bella," he stated flatly but there was a hint of amusement in his voice. "More than just your blood. It as if there's a magnetic tug that I can't avoid no matter how far away from you I go."

_Oh._ "Is that a good thing?" I pried.

A dimple formed on his right cheek. "That depends on you Bella. Do you enjoy having slightly obsessed vampire who wants your blood magnetically drawn to you?"

"Yep," I said with a cheesy grin and we both chuckled.

We stared at each other for the longest time until his eyes suddenly darkened and I felt my hands slip out of his.

Edward

Just too unreal- all of it. Her hands slipped away from mine and it was like watching her world slip through my fists.

What was I doing? My mouth was speaking words and it was like I was watching myself from a distance. Why was I being so reckless? There I was holding her hand and baiting her with my vampire charm. Meanwhile, playing with her in my fantasies; some dark some sensual. The monster inside of me stamped its feet impatiently as if to say, "What will it be- her blood or her body?"

"Is it my blood?" she asked meekly and it brought me out of my dark thoughts.

I listened to her body. Her heart was beating rapidly, her blood was hot, breathing- shallowly, lips-slightly parted. Her…scent was thick with arousal. Her body was talking to me and I finally tuned my bloodlust out to listen to what she wanted- me.

And everything within my vampire body was craving her- nothing of her blood but the heaven between her creamy slightly exposed thighs, her lips on mine, her hair tangled in my fingers…

_Don't feel a thing. _Oh how I wished. But I was consumed by it. I struggled to find my voice. "Yes," I lied. "It's always your blood."

"Oh…" she shot me a wry look from the corner of her chocolate eyes and I struggled to keep it together. "Then you should probably stop breathing."

I was breathing, I realized-outright panting. Bella's eyes were full of amusement and I realized that she'd grown too accustomed to my vampire antics. She knew what my bloodlust looked like.

"You know what, I have a theory," she stated.

_Oh lord…_ Did I really want to hear it?

Bella continued even though I remained silent. She raised herself up on her knees and turned her body facing me and for a moment I thought she would straddle me. I swallowed a mouthful of venom loudly. Her hand cupped my cheek and I leaned into her warmth, relishing in it for the slightest second before realizing that she had moved her lips to my jaw. Instantly I felt her moist warm lips place feathery kisses along my jaw line and down to my neck and I tensed. My hands searched desperately for something to grip. Finding nothing, I snatched Bella away from me brusquely. She was silent, only gazing into my eyes for a moment before commenting, "You're eyes are completely black now."

"Oh…" I struggled for the right words to say to keep her keen vision on my eyes and not southward where I was plainly aroused. "Well…um…"

"Do your eyes darken when you're aroused as well?" she prodded.

"So it seems," I sighed, defeated.

She laughed throatily and my cock twitched.

_Oh nice to see you two again. _Good "angel" and bad "angel" danced impishly on Bella's shoulders. The bad angel produced a sign that read in childishly scribbled letters, "bite her now while you've got her fooled." The other angel tore at his hair and wailed, "_ra-VISH herrr."_

"Bella you don't know what you do to me," I confessed. My hands reached to brush a stray curl from her face.

She exhaled exasperatedly.

"Do you know how badly I can hurt you Bella," I asked in a strained voice. "Do you enjoy torturing me?"

Again she sighed and looked away. "I'm not an idiot Edward. I know you'll hurt me."

"And yet you _still _ask this of me?"

She gave a little shrug and mumbled, "It wouldn't be the first time," under her breath.

I groaned in frustration. "Bella. Bella. Bella." I scolded as I shook my head disapprovingly. "Strange little masochistic Bella," I whispered predatorily as I drew her close and kissed her deeply, trying to convey the depths of my frustration.

X

Bella

His lips crushed mine and my heart leapt with joy as he devoured my lips hungrily. He drank me in as if I were the last cup of water in an arid desert and I didn't want it to end.

But of course it did. Edward pulled away in typical Edward fashion with an apology on his slips.

I sighed in exasperation. I knew that I was going to have to take the reins of my virginity into my own hands. I sat up again on my knees and placed a gentle kiss on Edward's lips. He pulled back at first and stared at me for a long time. Then suddenly he kissed me. This kiss was different from before. It was more urgent and full of hunger.

Suddenly I felt my back touch the towel spread out on the grass. Finally he was giving in. My fingers continued to roam through his unruly hair as we kissed. My hips bucked towards his and he moaned. I quickly moved my hands from his hair and began to unbutton my dress. His hands covered mine to stop them.

"Bella, we have to stop. I can't hurt you."

I waited until he removed his hands from mine and then quickly reached under my dress to pull down my girlie pink underwear. Edward watched my movements with predator like attentiveness but didn't protest. He appeared to be in a trance. Once my underwear was removed I laid back down on the towel. "Touch me Edward" I whispered.

He didn't move but only stared at my dress in wonder. "Bella," he murmured reverently as his hands traveled up my legs. His lips suddenly joined them; planting butterfly kisses along my calves and thighs. I moaned as I felt an unfamiliar clenching in my lower abdomen.

As if sensing my arousal he let out a deep moan and urgently started to unbutton the rest of my dress and pull it off of me. I captured his lips with my own and started to unbutton his shirt in frenzy. "Ah God, Bella" He murmured into my mouth.

Finally I felt him, poised against my entrance. "Please Edward, now" I pleaded.

"Bella…" he hesitated. I bucked my hips taking him into me and his control snapped. We both moaned in pleasure when he entered me in one determined stroke. He tensed and gave me time to accommodate and felt my body struggle to adjust to his intrusion. My breath drew in shallowly and ragged as I struggled to keep from crying out. I didn't want him to see me hurt. His guilt would never allow him to continue and despite the pain the slow friction of his entering me sent spasms of pleasure through me.

His black eyes drank in my nakedness thirstily as he raked me over. His hands trembled as they traveled from my thighs to my breast and I let out a whimper. "I'm sorry" He whispered into my ear as he plunged deeper into me, breaking my barrier and flooding me with pain. He froze and his onyx orbs locked on mine. "You're"

"Bleeding" I finished for him. My face was completely flustered but my body ached for him to continue.

"Bella, this isn't safe. My thoughts are dark. The things I want to do to you…" he trailed off.

For some reason his threat only excited me more and I felt my stomach clench again sending another rush of wetness between us. A flicker of realization played across his face. He kissed me hungrily and began to thrust into me again. "Bella," he moaned my name again and again and I gripped his shoulder blades and tangled my feet behind his back. Sure it was painful, but the pleasure more than overshadowed the pain. Edward inside of me was the most wonderful feeling I've ever experienced. We were one, and I knew that whether he wanted to change me or not, I never wanted to be apart from him.

"Edward I'm falling" I cried out. Unbridled pleasure fluttered through my body and I shuddered and clamped around Edward. He let out a guttural moan as his cool seed filled me.

We both clutched each other for dear life. In the back of my mind I knew that there would be hand shaped bruises all over me tomorrow but I didn't care. I would never regret this.

For the longest time none of us spoke. We just held each other, both of us breathing sharply. The sun played across my bare body, now slick with sweat, making me glitter too.

I sneaked a peak at Edward and found myself suddenly feeling insecure. Did he regret it? Did he enjoy being with me as much as I with him?

"What are you thinking?" I asked nervously as Edward positioned his ear over my bare chest.

"I'm thinking your heartbeat is the most beautiful sound in the world" He grinned impishly. "That and the sound you made a minute ago"

I rolled my eyes despite feeling a fresh scarlet blush. Really, did I have to point out the various animalistic sounds he just made? I let out a contented sigh and snuggled against his body, letting his hard shoulder cradle my head as fatigue came over me.

"I love you," I mumbled against his skin as I drifted off to sleep.

"Stay with me," I heard him ask as I struggled to stay awake.

"Hmm…" I wanted to stay awake as he'd asked but I hadn't slept in weeks and it felt so completely peaceful and relaxing in his arms. "I'm up…" I mumbled as I drifted off.

"No," he chuckled. "Stay with me forever."

X

Same Time: Alice

I was in the midst of watching TV with my family when my vision suddenly clouded with the not so distant future and I saw her.

"What is it Darlin'." Jasper grasped my hand before standing up. "Its Edward's human isn't it? I knew we shouldn't have let her go to school without us," he muttered like a worried den mother and I smiled at him when my vision faded. "Oh well," he continued, "I guess we have to go and bail her out of trouble."

I resisted the urge to giggle at my husband suddenly gearing up to fight for "Edward's human". He would never admit it but he was just as concerned about her as I was. She was slowly becoming our human- all of us, save Rosalie.

"Because I seriously cannot deal with Edward's mood swings if he comes back and something happens to her," he continued.

"What's going on Alice, is Timmy-aka Bella- stuck in the well again?" Rosalie snorted and I rolled my eyes.

"Alright," Emmett flexed his muscles. "Who do I have to go kill?"

"Oh good lord," Esme gasped and covered her mouth. "That's it. I'm having Carlisle turn this girl at once. She is a magnet for danger."

Another vision, this one familiar to the one I'd seen months ago gripped me again and I breathed a sigh of relief when it was over, ignoring the confused stares of my family I kept my mouth shut. But I couldn't help but to giggle in relief and joy. It seemed I was getting my sister after all.

-The End-

**AN: So what do you think? I wanted their first time to be sort of frenzied and amateur. I wanted to capture the fact that they're both two teenage virgins who have no idea what they're doing. You like? **

**And tell me what you thought of this fic on a whole? Likes dislikes about the characters? And so on. **

**This was so fun to write. Thanks so much guys for taking this journey with me. You guys rock. Thanks for reading and those of you who leave reviews. **

***Please review this chapter. If ever there was a chapter to review its this one. ***

**Big Pimpin revisited:**

**So I have a lot of stories coming up soon including a sequel to _After Ever After _between Ness and Jake in Tokyo. It's totally different from other R/J fic so stay tuned. And a vamp-tastic Twilight version of Chicago---(Preview: He had vampire strength and she had none and yet they both reached for the gun)!. AND I've been given the story _The Human Stain_ to continue. It's all in the coming weeks so please add me to author alerts.**


	25. Chicago new story

**AN: Hi lovely reader! I'm writing an epilogue for this story right now. In the mean time, try a taste of my newest story Chicago. Here's the trailer/preview. The 1st chapter is now up. Hope to see you there. **

_The killers…_

_Announcer: And now presenting the four merry murderesses_…

_Bella_

"Come on babe, why don't we paint the town…and all that jazz."

~x~

"You don't know me at all, Edward. I'm not the same wife you left to fight that war all those years ago."

_Alice_:

"Jasper and I..." Shrugs innocently. "I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences…"

~x~

To Jasper: "You mean you're immortal? Well I'll kill you again, you lying bastard!"

~x~

"He saw himself as alive- I saw him dead."

_Rosalie_:

Rosalie: "Is my sister a vampire too?"

Emmett: "No, you actually killed her, Rose."

Rosalie: "Good. I always hated that bitch."

~x~

To Bella- "Stay the hell out of my limelight."

_And_ _Esme_

"Not guilty."

_And the vampires who love them:_

_Carlisle:_

"Esme, my love, you'll find I'm much changed since you saw me last."

_The Scheme_

Edward: "I'm breaking her out."

Carlisle: "She's on the cover of every paper in this city. You can't just barge into her cell and turn her loose."

Edward: "So what do you suggest? Letting her hang?"

Carlisle: "Billy Flynn."

_The glitz_

Billy Flynn: "You're the sweetest little jazz killer to ever hit Chicago. You're a star, kid."

Bella: "I am? I _am _a star aren't I."

_And things that go bump in the night_

Edward: "If you knew what I am, what I've become, you wouldn't tempt me like that."

~x~

Emmett: "That …bitch she tried to kill me!"

Carlisle: "She did kill you, I only found you on your last breath."

~x~

Jasper: To Alice- "You're crazy for trying to kill me but I love you. But don't think for one second that means that I'm not picturing you blood running down my throat."

_And all that Jazz_


	26. Epilogue

**AN: I know, I'm the worst of the worst for taking so long to post this epilogue. School term papers were monopolizing my muse. Jeez college, don't you know that my muse is for Twilight fan fics? I hope it's worth the wait. **

**Song: Dancing by Elisa. **

"So Bella," I heard mike's pesky voice call from behind me and I sighed in defeat. My shoulders hunched dejectedly. It seemed that on my first day of Fork's High there was no way to avoid him.

"Looks like we have the same lunch hour too." His hand snaked around my shoulder and I knew it was going to be the longest hour of my life. Seriously, this guy was in almost every one of my classes. "So what are you doing this weekend?" He asked and my mind went whirling for an excuse to give him.

"Going out with me, I hope," a mellifluous voice purred from behind me and I whipped around to face the most beautiful boy I'd ever seen. He was tall and lean with the most unruly head of auburn locks and the warmest green eyes I'd ever seen. Those eyes danced mischievously and winked. I was absolutely dazzled by him.

Mike groaned and then gave the obligatory introductions begrudgingly. "Bella, this is Edward Masen. Edward- Bella Swan."

It took me a minute and then the angel's words came crashing down on me. _Wait a second. _Don't tell me this gorgeous guy is admiring me too? Not that minded. It was just hard to believe someone that stunning could be joining my gaggle of unwanted devotees.

"So anyway, Edward, I'm about to walk Bella to the cafeteria so…"

Oh dear God no. Not another hour of Mike and his friends, fawning over me like I'm some shiny new toy. I looked up at Edward entreatingly and he seemed to have read my mind because he suddenly reached out his hands to me and said.

"Oh don't worry Mike. I'll take her- that is, if you want to come with me Bella."

My eyes flitted back and forth between the two boys staring each other down. After what seemed like forever, Mike lost the little stare-down and conceded. He shrugged casually and muttered, "See you around Arizona," before disappearing down the hall.

"Thanks," I muttered when we were alone as I followed him to his table. In the corner of my eye I noticed four ethereally beautiful students practically staring me down. The way they were looking at me, especially the little one, sent chills down my spine but I ignored it. "You didn't have to rescue me back there you know."

He shrugged and flashed me a heart-melting lopsided grin. "Sure I did. You don't know what Newton was thinking."

I looked up at him- puzzled.

"Yes, now you know my secret," he said in a serious tone, dropping his voice several octaves. "I read minds. Impressed yet?" He quipped and I found myself stifling a chuckle while rolling my eyes.

"Nope, sorry. You're going to have to try harder than that." I countered in my usual dry tone and he smiled fully at me with a slightly surprised expression on his face. I could tell I wasn't like the girls he was used to and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing. Truth is I was completely impressed. I was half glad he couldn't actually read minds because inside I was in shock that this beautiful, funny, amazing boy was talking to me.

I must have been staring into his eyes a bit too long because I suddenly found myself entranced by him- literally, in a trance. He kept on talking to me as if I wasn't plainly having a brain meltdown in front of him and I must have been talking too because I felt my lips forming sentences. When I came too I quickly realized that I'd literally been talking about myself, my mother, and Arizona for God knows how long. _Oh God, why didn't my mouth malfunction along with my brain? _

Edward didn't seem to mind though. He was staring at me intently as if I were revealing the true identity of the Kennedy assassin and gazing into my eyes as if the secrets of the universe were written there. He looked like the very definition of the word smitten.

_Whoa. There's some wishful thinking. _There was no way this guy was into me. I probably just had something in my teeth. I was trying to inconspicuously run my tongue along said teeth when I heard him ask, "Um…do you want to…er…hang out or something this weekend?"

The sound of the bell interrupted my thoughts but neither of us moved.

"With you?" I asked dumbly and then instantly started to mentally berate myself. I swear, I usually had more sense than this but Edward seemed to render my thoughts incoherent.

He chuckled huskily and my brain snapped back from its daze. "Well I would hope so Bella," he chided. "That is, if you trust me."

Present:

Bella

It was summer and my house had been completely taken over by vampires. In the garage were Alice and Jasper dressed in Edward and my clothes and rigging my truck with all the appropriate death hazards. In the living room were Edward and Mr. Cullen; here more for moral support for Edward than anything. I paced my lonely bedroom anxiously trying to listen to their discussion but they were speaking to low for any human to understand.

And Charlie was at work.

The hum of my garage door opening stirred my insides with anxiety and I rushed to the window and watched as my truck slowly pulled out of the driveway and I followed it as it crept down the block until it disappeared from my vision.

And I thought of Edward. I thought of the woods and his arms around me. I thought of the tumultuous year we had; the good and the bad.

And I was afraid for the first time. What if I forgot the way his green eyes smiled at mine when I tripped or the way I trembled when we shared my first kiss? …

What if I forgot how we danced in the woods, my head on his stone shoulders, his arms holding mine?

I wasn't sure when he entered my bedroom but the next thing I felt were his arms around me, pulling me into him. He silently spun me around and we swayed no rhythm in particular.

I realized that I was shaking when we stopped swaying.

"Are you afraid," Edwards asked softly against my ear.

"I know you won't hurt me." My voice sounded weak and unconvincing but my words were true. "I'm only afraid of loosing you."

He dipped his head and kissed my lips mechanically as if he were trying to turn his senses off; trying not to feel anything. But the kiss slowly turned fierce and urgent. I caressed his stone lips with mine and shivered in delight as I drank him in.

His hands began to work fast, twirling me around so that my back was pressed against his groin and assaulting every inch of my body. All the while his lips placed firm kisses along my neck and shoulders. His deft fingers crept under my dress and massaged my dampened folds. My heaving and gasping turned to outright moans and outcries when he dipped, one-two fingers inside of my core- languidly at first but then more forcibly as he picked up pace. Meanwhile, I felt his teeth graze my neck.

His fingers moved deeper and faster and I felt a crescendo building up within me, distracting me from his cool breath against my sensitive flesh.

"Do you trust me, Bella?" he asked in a labored, strained voice.

I shuttered against him in pleasure and he tightened his hold against him. "Y-yes," I gasped between guttural moans.

I watched silently as it all happened so fast, like a car accident. I didn't know that my arms anchored his neck until I pulled him closer to me, silently encouraging him.

"I love you," I heard him whisper and then he kissed the crook of my neck. There was a prickling sensation, so faint, the way it was when a doctor gave you a shot. Then I heard him let out tortured moan.

My eyes widened like saucers. I began to breathe shallowly; fear settling in for the first time when I felt his hands crush into my waist, trapping me there as if I would try to escape.

My blood made slurping sounds as he drank the life out of me. "Edward," I pleaded weakly.

"Edward, let her go now." I don't know when he came upstairs but Carlisle suddenly hovered over Edward and I but kept his distance. "You c_an _do this."

He moaned again, but this time in agony as he wrested me away from him and backed away from me. He threw me with such force that I collapsed into Carlisle's arms. I stared at him with glazed eyes.

I managed to capture Edward's tortured gaze and smile comfortingly. His crimson eyes met mine and he smiled wearily and stalked back towards us, mumbling something in a low voice to Carlisle.

It seemed whatever had taken over Edward had passed as he was himself again.

Immediately I was back in Edward's arms, right where I wanted to be and he was holding me softly.

"So it seems you were right," he muttered as he cradled me in his arms.

"I'm almost right," I said, but it came out in a garbled mumble. He tensed and stroked my hair. "About what?"

"Everything," he sighed and left it at that. His voice seemed farther away somehow; as if he were on the other end of a tunnel.

"So where's this fire you…Edward!" That was the last word I uttered while living. The fire quickly consumed every fiber of my being. I was burning up with pain and Edward rocked me lovingly.

"Shhh," Edward cooed and held my convulsing body closer to him. "I'm here my love."

At the very same moment my truck careened off of the road and pummeled into the water, but not before the overheated engine spurred the leaking gasoline tank and lit the vehicle on fire, killing both the driver, me- and my passenger, Edward Masen.

~x~

The End

**AN: Thank you so much everyone for taking this journey with me. I really hope you enjoyed it and I hope this chapter closes it up nicely. Please leave me your feedback. I'd love to know what your thoughts are on this epilogue as well as this story as a whole. Some sroties ask for your money, mine only ask for your reviews so come on, tell me what you think. **


	27. New Story Material Girl

Hi readers

I haven't been on fanfiction in forever but I'm slowly making my way back and I have a new really awesome Gossip Girl/ Twilight story, Material Girl. It's Breakfast at Tiffany's meets The Devil Wears Prada meets Underworld. But mostly it's Twilight with a Blair Waldorf twist. Please check it out and let me know how you like it.

You'll love it.

Also, I AM continuing my Chicago story. There's a note on Material Girl about what's going on with it. I look forward to hearing what you think.

-Vamp-by-Night


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